Maybe it's a 3 speed ceiling fan?
If it is, this actually wouldn't be hard to switch between two different speeds, just replace the fan switch in the housing with a relay.
You might be able to change to low speed during load shedding and switch back to normal selectable speeds the rest of the time
Also, most wall dimmers and fan speed controllers are not just potentiometers, they use Phase control.
They are going to be a little less efficient as slower speeds, but not nearly as bad as you are thinking, is isn't just a big resister in series.
Most fans are going to be less efficient as slower speeds anyways even if you use the build in low on a fan's switch.