I just always put "5+ years experience" on my resume because, well, I've been doing this literally forever. Not in a professional context, but it's not an outright lie either.
Don't think of the resume quiiiiite so much as a description of yourself, so much as a description of what you're looking for. Resumes that simply don't fit the mold are discarded outright; resumes with more matching keywords float to the top. At big companies (or automatic notifications like on LinkedIn), this will all happen before human eyes even touch it, and even then, the eyes are from HR, who may have somewhere between little and no understanding of your field's actual skills and demands. They're still just sorting. If you're lucky, you'll be in the short stack of resumes that actually makes it to an engineering manager, and then you might get a call, and even an interview.
If you're looking at smaller places, obviously neither the quantity in competition, nor the automation, is present, in which case the usual rules apply: have something eye catching, clear, understandable and to the point.
Never forget, job search goes the opposite direction too. You need money, but you also need a nice place to work. I'd rather work in fast food than work somewhere I hate every single day -- at least then I'm getting paid the way I feel about it!
If you're interested in a firm, instead of the usual application / resume route, maybe you'd ask if you can get a tour -- state your interest in their operations, maybe they'll let you take a look. Then you can see first hand what the facilities, activities, and people, are like. Ask questions -- about things you see, things you know -- things you don't know -- this is a learning experience after all! Try to avoid general questions like "how do you like it here" -- what else are they going to say? Especially since your tour guide is probably a manager. You'll also get a better idea of what they're looking for -- maybe five years experience isn't really necessary, they're willing to train (or let you train -- pay for outside classes, allow time on-the-job for screwing around with dev kits, etc.).
Tim