And to control individual pads, you will want to do that in the library part. There, you can select/deselect thermals as well as paste/cream layer and stopmask for each pad.
Generally, I want to avoid solid connection between pads and ground plane, except where it will actually make an improvement to the board. E.g., on parts that are gonna run hot and be the limiting factor. Or I suppose with high speed/fidelity signals it may make a difference.
Even thermals can slow down hand-soldering. Where I am going to hand solder I will sometimes use a single trace to connect pads - and then connect that trace to the pour/polygon a ways away. The downside is this will prompt inquiry from my board manufacturer, slowing the turnaround, a tad.