ShadeCraft Sunflower - Internet Of Things FAIL

[EEVblog]

Just the product the world has been waiting for!
A $7000 Internet of Things intelligent umbrella with GPS, WiFi, Bluetooth, solar power, 360 camera, and an app.
Someone liked the idea so much they invested $2M in seed funding.
Throw in a bunch of patents and a dodgy Wikipedia page from an Indian marketing company and we have a winner!

https://liesandstartuppr.blogspot.com.au/
https://www.shadecraft.com/
https://www.crunchbase.com/organization/shadecraft
https://patents.google.com/?inventor=Armen+Sevada+Gharabegian&oq=Armen+Sevada+Gharabegian&page=1

[Brumby]

This would be a perfect subject for:

WIRED's new job

They have a new job opening:
https://www.wired.com/about/wired-jobs/wired-hiring-senior-writer/

I love how a job requirement is

The ability to point at a technology and tell us how it’s going to change our future.

But not something like this:

Ability to critically analyse new products & concepts for practical viability"

Your objective is to get as many punters interested in it as possible - to spread the word and get traffic on the story.

[Red Squirrel]

LOL at that price.  That is completely insane!    As a ginger I can appreciate any form of creating shade, but something like this should not cost even remotely close to a grand let alone 7.  Get rid of all the internet connected bullcrap, stick some photocells on there and use those to figure out the optimal angle.  But can't get funding if you don't include all the right buzzword technologies! 

[madires]

And still I'd have to move my chair around during the day to be fully shaded. What's the purpose of that nonsense besides ripping off people?

[Brumby]

(Shhh....  I'm working on plans for a caterpillar track base to handle just that situation.)

[drussell]

What's the purpose of that nonsense besides ripping off people?

Besides ripping them off?  That's the whole plan. 

Perhaps, though, Mr. Burns is involved:

[GeorgeOfTheJungle]

LOL, and weights... how much???

[bitwelder]

I look at the guy in picture enjoying the shade and think...
it would be fun to remotely hack the communication channel of this id-IOT-ic device
(no mention of military-grade-AES256 in the specs, so probably they are not even considering the security)
and begin to jerk the robo-umbrella around, to the astonishment of its owner 

[jonovid]

Looks like it was designd by committee that was gender neutral, inclusive , environmentally aware .
maybe tried to make it biodegradable, even edible. 
100 Indian jokes and thousand apology's later .     who buys this stuff?  the same type of people that designed it. 

[Brumby]

The people who buy this sort of stuff are the people who are self-centred and have so much money they don't know what to do with it.

[Cyberdragon]

Great fun for hackers, now at the beach!

[Brumby]

"A fun day at the beach" takes on a new meaning.   

[sokoloff]

Who wouldn't want to lug an extra 100# down to the beach?

[Brumby]

Solution:  (Shown with dress skirt removed)

[EEVblog]

(Shhh....  I'm working on plans for a caterpillar track base to handle just that situation.)

$4M funding for you sir

[Muttley Snickers]

All that other useless crap and not even the option of a drink holder attachment, ridiculous.   

[bitwelder]

All that other useless crap and not even the option of a drink holder attachment, ridiculous.   

Hey, that's just the basic model! If you want drink holders and perhaps a fan, wait for the Deluxe version.   

[BravoV]

All that other useless crap and not even the option of a drink holder attachment, ridiculous.   

Hey, that's just the basic model! If you want drink holders and perhaps a fan, wait for the Deluxe version.   

Right, and you need the holder with drink cooler ? Its on Special Limited Edition, only few will be made. 

[Brumby]

I've just revised the caterpillar track system.  It is now an independent unit - which I am calling a Flowerpad - which will have a docking mechanism to secure it to the Sunflower base.  The control protocol has been rewritten to include swarm behaviour to allow multiple Flowerpads to operate in a coordinated manner.  The Sunflower can sit on a Flowerpad to allow it to maintain an ideal location - and you can have your Esky sitting on top of another, to fetch your drinks.

Other applications of this functionality are being investigated.

I might need to push the funding up to $6M, though.

[madires]

And don't forget the cloud based AI for the cup holder

[jonovid]

........and add a waterseer to fill the cup with fresh drinking water from the air  ....

[SeanB]

Batterisers for the best battery life as well.

[Brumby]

This is good stuff ...!  (Writes feverishly)

[MT]

There are absolutely no LOL in this product, shame on you, you cheap arses! It's designed for rich(read oligarchs, etc) people which most of you failed critters are not!

However it will take some Chinese child labourer to copy this in 15 minits then sold for less 100usd at nearest critter dollar store.

What i want is a beachshader with inbuilt drink cooler!
Applied patents however should be easy to debunk

[PaulReynolds]

Just adding the direct link to my blog on this for when it's no longer the first post:

https://liesandstartuppr.blogspot.com/2018/01/iowtf.html

Nothing further I can find on this product, they did their PR blitz around CES time and seem to have gone quiet. Remember to order before March 1st though, when it goes up to $8,700!