FIRSTLY, mate, you REACHED OUT.... That is always the 1st step.
You did however reach out 'here', when you may need 'professional' help.
As obviously stated by most, here, we have all been through that, and especially when???...
Through our YOUTH my friend. Body growth & hormones seem to be out of step with our
brains, and where we 'think' fit into 'society'.... However, I will be a LITTLE harsh here mate :-)
You are in Nepal, but with a relatively, if not more 'comfortable' family/parent/lifestyle as you say?
MANY people are in horrendous situations, either due to poverty and/or abuse, and can't see the
sense in living! Long ago, after a debilitating accident, I was left feeling VERY low on the 'scale'
of being a 'Man', a 'father', a 'provider'...... My Doctor at the time asked me if I had contemplated
suicide.... I thought a lot, and then answered.... "No... but I have been to a place in my head more
than once, where I can see why people that do it, do it...."
There is a lot of the proverbial water under the bridge since then, however I went on to live a productive
(although physically limited) life since then. YOU, my friend, have nothing but a talented, prosperous
and loving life ahead of you, that SMACKS of not only knowledge, but Ability !!
And in a matter of a year or two, YOU will look back & think..... "What was I worried about" !!!!!!
So... OFF your BUTT matey.... and marvel at life !!!!!!