I've been working on this problem too, and find most of the toaster oven DIY controllers and kits to be much more money and effort than I want to expend for something I will use rarely, and never for production. But I found a Youtube video by Andreas Spiess showing the manual control of the oven based on the critical placement of a thermocouple display thermometer. With no need for a controller, SS relay, etc., there would be essentially no work, and it would only cost about $40-45 depending on which oven you get.
But my impression of even the controlled ovens is that these IR boxes are a bit risky. And it seems there is a large school of thought that the way to do this is with a hotplate. You could control it the same way as the Spiess oven, but a hotplate appears to be more forgiving, and less likely to toast your board. And I guess you could actually fix tombstones in real time.
I'm still going back and forth on these options, but think I will order the cheap thermocouple anyway.
My understanding for leaded solder paste is that basically you warm the board up to the soak stage (180C or 350F) and keep it there for a couple minutes so everything gets to that temperature. Then you take it up quickly to reflow temperature (220C or 425F), and keep it there while reflow occurs, Then you cool it down - not too slow, not too fast. I guess I don't see why this should require a controller if you you're sitting there looking at the temperature display, but I may find out why the first time I try it.
I should also say that the cheap Chinese IR commercial ovens are available for about $185, but the reviews are not favorable, and there's a list of five mods needed to make them workable.