Thank you for the replies.
You may be right that I have wrong versions and whatnot, the whole web experience for it is all over the place, however it appears from multiple posts on the subject that that I am not alone in having difficulty in getting an SD card set up for W10 IoT.
I've used Visual Studio since 6.0 so I'm not averse to using it, in fact I still use 6.0 for some things, I spent far too long using it to let go! I already had 2005, 2008, 2010, 2012 and 2013 on my main dev machine (I have an MSDN enterprise subscription), but I only install a given version if I actually need it for something.
There is one minor piece of good news, they've stopped using ALL CAPS on the menu bar of VS2015 by default, a pathetic and unnecessary change that they put in a couple of version ago. There must be an army of dart-throwing monkeys at Microsoft randomly picking stuff to change for no apparent reason!
Still, I can't imagine trying this again any time soon. It is just a hugely over complicated set of tasks to try to achieve that simplest of things, a Blinky.