Switches are very fast yes, in fact typically sub-nanosecond. In that incredibly short span of time, the contacts have barely opened up, so they break over very easily, and most of the turn-off time is spent sparking.
With a neon lamp in parallel, the spark goes from air in the switch, to gas in the tube. The switchover happens when the voltage drop across the switch rises to, eh, probably 80-100V or so, the breakdown voltage of the neon lamp. (The voltage drop of a spark varies with its length, more or less, so it's rising while the distance between switch contacts is opening up.)
The rest of the time, the neon lamp carries the current from the inductor, which decays according to (approximately) V = L * dI/dt, where V is set by the neon's voltage drop (about 60V usually).
The approximation holds while dt << R/L.
Since you've set initial currents equal, the neon light will be lit equally brightly (in the instant when it turns on).
The EMF is the same, because the neon lamp is holding it constant.
The current flow, and therefore neon bulb glow intensity, falls (approximately) linearly over time, until there's not enough current to ionize the neon bulb, and it turns off.
Finally, when the bulb turns off, the voltage begins to settle out, and it may swing around a bit. If the voltage ticks back up, the neon may re-ignite, in a hammering sort of fashion, using up the last wisp of stored energy. (When this happens across a switch's air gap, it typically happens in more violent fashion, due to the higher voltage drop of the air gap, and the lower impedance of mains wiring -- the resulting rapid-fire ESD-like waveform can fry sensitive electronics!)
What varies is, one simply stays on for longer than the other (about 9 times longer, given the values).
To the unaided eye, all of this happens in an instant (namely, about 7 milliseconds; the eye's response time is on the order of 50ms), so you cannot perceive the duration of the flash, but rather one just looks as many times brighter than the other.
To be able to perceive it, you could use a high speed camera, but that might be a bit difficult (to get a useful number of frames of the glow and decay, you'll need thousands of FPS); the next best thing would be a photodiode pointed at the neon light, so you can read out the intensity (as current flow through the photodiode) on an oscilloscope.
HTH,
Tim