Why are you asking a question when you have decided your "correct" answer beforehand, and accuse experienced and well argumented tips of being someone else's "desires"?
Please just go away and stop wasting our time. Thank you for your consideration.
BTW you have serious fundamental issues going on if you need to regenerate P&P files and upload them to a CM 20 times. I strongly suggest you try to find the root cause for having such difficult time, to make the process easier for you. But if you insist on modifying your library to match the CM preview, you indeed do generate yourself the issue of needing the regeneration of the files. The correct place to adjust for this is in CAM, not in CAD.
I asked the question quite some time ago and when I do have to ask on a forum I don't just sit back and wait for answers... I keep researching.
In the meantime I found what others were doing (editing the P&P) and I tried it myself and discovered that it was not practical and insanely error prone.
In the end I drew a conclusion that editing the footprint was the best given that I already had both a component library with part numbers and a footprint library that was paired with it. Editing is not a great stretch.
You put forward your suggestion and made a few points and I happened to disagree and provided valid real world reasons why I disagreed.
As for generating the files many times there are plenty of valid reasons. One was testing out your process for it's sensibility.
Another was to get a valid idea of cost which leads to what modifications I can make to the board to reduce the cost or to enhance it and stay within a budget.
Another was parts availability given they are also supplying the parts I needed it to process cleanly. Also they have some bugs in handling the costs for some of their parts so I needed to work around that.
So I don't have any fundamental issues and such insulting behavior is not necessary.

Center of component can be defined manually.
The documentation claims that but any attempt to find out how led nowhere. When I determined how it was calculated I realised the documentation was stretching the truth a lot.
IPC orientation is parroted on so many places, you do not have to buy the standard... just google for IPC component orientation.
As a bonus Altium library wizard does conform to the standard.
true. The wizard does do quite a nice job.

Use your favorite scripting tool to write a simple script that will process your BOM. You can do it in excel.
My favourite scripting tool is not to have one.

I've been programing for a living for a very long time and have to switch between enough languages as it is.
Your solution is not flexible, does not scale and eventually will blow into your face (if you keep using it long enough).
If I'm producing 1000 boards a month for the next 10 years I might eventually encounter a problem. But a one off run of 25 is not going to be an issue. This project will never ever ramp up to high volume. It's a project I've been working on for a decade so I understand it well. I won't be looking at any other fab house I can guarantee you that. It's way outside of my budget. It's only due to this service that I am looking at having them assembled.