Can I pay someone $500 to measure frequencies

[mindcrime]

I don't even need any equipment or skills (which is good, since I have none of the latter) - I already know the frequency due to my connections with the Österlhauden SÖT Society, Gmbh.  I can't say too much here for obvious reasons, but Western Union me the $500.. no, wait, I'll give an EEVblog *discount* - just Western Union me $417.92, and I'll send you the codes and associated dossier.  As a bonus if you reply in the next 600000000 nanoseconds, I'll include your HAARP brainwave scan! Act now, supplies are limited!

[hexreader]

buy the $50 spectrum analyzer on aliexpress

Be aware that the standard antenna cannot detect a transmitter that has been swallowed. You will need to buy a rectenna

Sorry.... could not resist 

[Nominal Animal]

Was this implanted by aliens?

Aliens use a completely different tech.

Besides, the little grey guys with bug eyes are just travel agents for sentient extraterrestrial bacteria colonies, saying hi to their distant cousins, and having a rustic holiday.  We humans happen to have nice fast nerve pathways beween our guts and our brains as a built-in feature, so no real modifications are necessary either; although ruminating animals do have more interesting catering.

I do sometimes wonder exactly who came up with the combination of refined sugars, salt, and fats.  It tends to reprogram humans through their digestive system.

Have you considered psychic surgery?

That's just sleight of hand and charlatans; please ignore them.

Do you really have a friend?

The proper question to as is is the person you think is your friend, really a friend, or just someone trying to take advantage of you by posing as a friend?

Another interesting question is "does Terry Bites ever help anyone except themselves?"

I'd wait a few days and keep checking the toilet before you flush.

I'd say there is no reason to be so anal, unless you're really into scatology anyway.

[pcprogrammer]

Besides, the little grey guys with bug eyes are just travel agents for sentient extraterrestrial bacteria colonies, saying hi to their distant cousins, and having a rustic holiday.

I thought the martians were always depicted in green

[mindcrime]

Besides, the little grey guys with bug eyes are just travel agents for sentient extraterrestrial bacteria colonies, saying hi to their distant cousins, and having a rustic holiday.

I thought the martians were always depicted in green

No, no, no. Get it right. The Standard JFK Martians are Green, but the Rebel Yakuza Martians (non-shapeshifting) are Grey, while the Rebel Shapeshifting Ninja Martians are a greenish-grey with a slightly jaundiced tint. And the CIA Martians that are genetically crossed with Neanderthals are like that, but with buggier eyes.

[Zenith]

The proper question to as is is the person you think is your friend, really a friend, or just someone trying to take advantage of you by posing as a friend?

Another interesting question is "does Terry Bites ever help anyone except themselves?"

Seriously, I'm not sure how to deal with someone who is either a joker or mentally disturbed. I'm inclined to call their bluff or laugh at them. I don't think it's great idea to take them seriously. Ignoring them is a possibility.

I once had dealings with a schizophrenic who was convinced people on TV were watching him. He'd bought a few TVs in the hope of getting one where they wouldn't be watching him. I suggested he bought two TVs and put them screen to screen, so they could watch each other and leave him alone. He was intrigued by the idea. I don't think he did it.

[Nominal Animal]

Besides, the little grey guys with bug eyes are just travel agents for sentient extraterrestrial bacteria colonies, saying hi to their distant cousins, and having a rustic holiday.

I thought the martians were always depicted in green

Green?  No, the martians are robots.  I know some of them: Booze, Oopsie, and Perse.

I once had dealings with a schizophrenic who was convinced people on TV were watching him.

Psychosis –– the condition of mind where one really cannot tell what is real and what is not –– is a tough one; especially the kind where the broken worldview feels more real than reality itself.  In a very real way, it's what makes it so difficult to deal with.

[armandine2]

Hi there,

I'm willing to pay $500 to somebody who has the equipment

Brandon, in electronics you do find willing to pay merchants who have the equipment you want is only half the battle.

[Zenith]

Psychosis –– the condition of mind where one really cannot tell what is real and what is not –– is a tough one; especially the kind where the broken worldview feels more real than reality itself.  In a very real way, it's what makes it so difficult to deal with.

I have an idea that's what we are dealing with here, each in our different ways, some sympathetic, some less so.

[Nominal Animal]

Psychosis –– the condition of mind where one really cannot tell what is real and what is not –– is a tough one; especially the kind where the broken worldview feels more real than reality itself.  In a very real way, it's what makes it so difficult to deal with.

I have an idea that's what we are dealing with here, each in our different ways, some sympathetic, some less so.

Did you read my first post on the matter?  I'd be very curious to know what this thread really was about, myself.

It is the (proverbial) "I'm not here to hear your arguments, I'm here to be emotionally supported by you all, and to hear you praise me" line that when crossed, in my opinion makes ridicule and laughter an appropriate reaction.

Some people just do not know anything about engineering or science for whatever reason – maybe they're young, lacked access to proper education, were raised up in a community/society/culture where science was rejected and substituted with one religious text or another – but unless they actively reject the science instead of trying to learn, they only lack knowledge; they aren't lost to the antirationalist hordes yet.

In this case, it seems to me OP didn't cross that line yet.  Indeed, they could very well be somebody being manipulated by someone else posing as their "friend", but really exploiting their lack of basic scientific and engineering knowledge for whatever reason.  If so, the reaction from the forum is quite unfortunate; rather mob-like.  Then again, statistically, this type of message has usually lead to discussions where rationality and logic is rejected the stronger the longer the thread...  Which also means that if OP is genuinely interested in a rational, scientific solution, they've been doubly unfairly treated by the forum, just because they lacked knowledge.  No, I for one am willing to take the risk here, and err on the other side instead.

[magic]

I suggested he bought two TVs and put them screen to screen, so they could watch each other and leave him alone.

Damn, that's a great idea for everyone

[Zenith]

Which also means that if OP is genuinely interested in a rational, scientific solution, they've been doubly unfairly treated by the forum, just because they lacked knowledge.  No, I for one am willing to take the risk here, and err on the other side instead.

You are a very kind and sympathetic person. I'm not.

[free_electron]

buy the $50 spectrum analyzer on aliexpress

Be aware that the standard antenna cannot detect a transmitter that has been swallowed. You will need to buy a rectenna

Sorry.... could not resist 

by your analogy an antenna can only detect ants ?

[Bud]

I suggested he bought two TVs and put them screen to screen, so they could watch each other and leave him alone.

Damn, that's a great idea for everyone

I use a mirror  for that. I am too cheap to buy a second TV

[rfclown]

This is an age old question. What's the frequency Kenneth?

[radiolistener]

My friend who works at RF monitoring inspection told me a story: some people wrote several requests to the RF monitoring inspection, he wrote that his neighbor exposing him with high power RF radiation through walls and he has headache and other symptoms... Guys at RF monitoring inspection thought that this people has some mental illness, and didn't want to process that request. But since they should respond they came to his house, took measurements and, as expected, didn't find anything dangerous. Having finally decided that the man was crazy, in order to calm him down they promised to go to a neighbor and talk with him. When they rang their neighbor's doorbell, a man wearing a tinfoil hat came out. And they saw a dozens of microwave ovens behind him... As it turned out, he really tried to exposure neighbors with the help of many magnetrons from microwave ovens, he explained this by saying that the voices of aliens ordered him to do that... 

[pcprogrammer]

My friend who works at RF monitoring inspection told me a story: some people wrote several requests to the RF monitoring inspection, he wrote that his neighbor exposing him with high power RF radiation through walls and he has headache and other symptoms... Guys at RF monitoring inspection thought that this people has some mental illness, and didn't want to process that request. But since they should respond they came to his house, took measurements and, as expected, didn't find anything dangerous. Having finally decided that the man was crazy, in order to calm him down they promised to go to a neighbor and talk with him. When they rang their neighbor's doorbell, a man wearing a tinfoil hat came out. And they saw a dozens of microwave ovens behind him... As it turned out, he really tried to exposure neighbors with the help of many magnetrons from microwave ovens, he explained this by saying that the voices of aliens ordered him to do that... 

Just to feed some conspiracy here, where the aliens Russians

[Nominal Animal]

My friend who works at RF monitoring inspection told me a story: some people wrote several requests to the RF monitoring inspection, he wrote that his neighbor exposing him with high power RF radiation through walls and he has headache and other symptoms... Guys at RF monitoring inspection thought that this people has some mental illness, and didn't want to process that request. But since they should respond they came to his house, took measurements and, as expected, didn't find anything dangerous. Having finally decided that the man was crazy, in order to calm him down they promised to go to a neighbor and talk with him. When they rang their neighbor's doorbell, a man wearing a tinfoil hat came out. And they saw a dozens of microwave ovens behind him... As it turned out, he really tried to exposure neighbors with the help of many magnetrons from microwave ovens, he explained this by saying that the voices of aliens ordered him to do that... 

1. Yep: you never know if those with odd worries do actually have a reason to worry or not.  Just because they worry, does not mean they are the crazy one.

2. While hearing voices is usually related to mental issues like psychosis, every now and then there are cases where the poor person is just utterly gullible (there is even a developmental disorder that makes one particularly susceptible), and being "pranked" by "friends" or neighbors.  In some very rare cases, money –– say, an inheritance –– can be involved, making everything doubly messy and possibly all evil.

Sure, statistics do give us a picture, and that says it's mostly people with mental issues, and trolls.  But, at the individual level, just like Dave described in a recent video, we need to understand that having an unpopular or unreasonable opinion or thought does not mean that individual should be rejected and ostracised, or that all of their opinions or questions should be rejected, and their videos no longer watched.

[pcprogrammer]

Be it as it may, the original poster has not returned yet, so no way of knowing yet if he/she is for real

[mnementh]

"Even paranoids have enemies." ~Golda Meir in negotiations with Henry Kissenger

mnem
"What is the difference between hearing voices that aren't there and not hearing voices that are?"
"About $100 an hour and 6 months of sessions." 

[rob77]

buy the $50 spectrum analyzer on aliexpress

Be aware that the standard antenna cannot detect a transmitter that has been swallowed. You will need to buy a rectenna

Sorry.... could not resist 

by your analogy an antenna can only detect ants ?

so that's why it shows crap-all ... the signal is impeded by the impedance of the Ant-enna 

[mindcrime]

I have to admit, I generally assume that posts like the OP's are one of two things:

1. A random troll just dicking around

2. A forum regular taking the piss and having some fun at our expense

In the unlikely case this was posted by someone who genuinely believes they have a transmitter chip inside of them, I hope they find the help they need, whether it's a good psychologist, or a good surgeon who also knows how to run a spectrum analyzer.

[mindcrime]

This is an age old question. What's the frequency Kenneth?

And based on real events, no less!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dan_Rather#%22Kenneth,_what_is_the_frequency?%22

[MK14]

I have to admit, I generally assume that posts like the OP's are one of two things:

1. A random troll just dicking around

2. A forum regular taking the piss and having some fun at our expense

In the unlikely case this was posted by someone who genuinely believes they have a transmitter chip inside of them, I hope they find the help they need, whether it's a good psychologist, or a good surgeon who also knows how to run a spectrum analyzer.

They seem to have a similar writing style to some of the other weird threads we sometimes seem to have here.  Especially the "My neighbor is sending powerful radio/infrasound/other waves into my flat, and I can't sleep, please help", types of thread.

[Calambres]

The OP is only 2 messages in this forum and both on the same subject in two different threads. Not even bothered to reply here. If that is not a troll alert, what is?

On the other hand, this is a quite funny topic nonetheless