You could try the reversing function first, and then put in the speed control (potentiometer based).
With a main power on-off switch, and a DPDT relay you would have the thing reversing at full speed.
Then, to add in the potentiometer circuit, you need a transistor that varies the output current that is fed to your existing relay reverser.
Keep in mind, the relay coil will need full voltage, so the portion that controls that, would be separate from the 'dimmable' voltage. Also, you will need a switch for relay position control (forward or reverse motor).
A bit much, for maybe a beginner, without explicit schematic.
(I would also have tried using my led dimming light, that uses a transistor and linear pot available at local stores.)