Instead of controlling the MOSFET with the RPi, why not using that line to communicate with the µC that would then be the only device controlling the MOSFET ? Just a suggestion. I don't know if this can work with what you want to do.
Actually this may work fine. I thought I was being clever and came up with some sort of elegant solution to the problem, but I guess not. Your solution is just about as good and it probably actually works

I don't think using a PNP MOSFET will work for me in my case. I really need uC HIGH=ON for the controlled circuit, and I need it to be barebones (fewest quiescent currents to worry about) to keep power consumption down.
Even just a digital out to digital in line would probably be fine, with some filtering/debouncing type stuff. I don't want to use up a serial line for something so simple. Only problem is the uC and RPi may be at slightly different logic levels...
any idea if you can put up to ~4.5V uC digital output into a 3.3V RPi GPIO without causing damage? Very small currents of course, and RPi has pretty high input impedance right?I ask of course because the uC will nominally be operating at about 4.5V, down to maybe 3.3V minimum, but it likely will never get to that low voltage during its use.
I run the uC (just an ATMega328p at 1MHz to do basic coordination) off 3 alkalines with no regulator (probably sounds stupid...) but I do it because I need it to run a very long time and even efficient regulators have quiescent currents that become a big deal over a long time. So far (1+ years) it's worked great on a single set of batteries.
Basically the whole thing will be running off batteries and I can't really have the RPi on very long, but I really don't want to corrupt the filesystem and the work it does is somewhat indeterminate/variable, so I need some sort of more precise control to shut it down exactly when it's ready. A simple "shut down now" input line sounds fine. Shutting down the RPi does not shut down connected HATs since the power just seems to get passed through, so even if the RPi shuts itself down, it doesn't do me much good.
I have a set of 3 alkaline batteries for the uC and a separate set of 8 D alkalines for the rest of the stuff, making a ~12V nominal supply with a regulator producing a 9V rail for one device and a 5V rail for the RPi. The circuit should be happy with 1.1V cutoff (so 8.8V) assuming the batteries can still output a bit of current. I already have essentially the same project working without the RPi, and it works well, so this is sort of the "Version 2" of it, where the RPi is necessary for higher-level stuff.
This will need to be able to be set up in a remote location and work consistently for about a year. Again, the "Version 1" has worked great and I'm at about 400 days now.
Thank you everyone for your input.
edit: Looking around, it does appear that you cannot use higher voltages w/RPi GPIO without damage, so a level shifter or voltage divider must be used. That's fine, since the uC keeps its voltage probably above 3.6V anyway, and the GPIO on the RPi seems to require >2.3V, so using a simple divider may be fine to get it down a bit...