The cheapest/simplest possible ESR checker?

[HardBoot]

No needing an oscilloscope, multimeter, microcontroller, analogue meters cost a lot, so let's skip those too.
Smallest possible variety of parts, smallest part count possible, nothing more than a couple cents preferably.
I'm thinking, a very low duty cycle oscillator and some voltage comparators driving LEDs with dip switches for range selection.
Thinking, perhaps a breakdown pulser, or just a 555 that dumps a very low esr cap array. On the downside of the short pulse you then look at the voltage of the cap with led indicators, the higher, the lower the esr.