It wouldn't be so bad if I can get a 3g/4g phone that has a real physical key pad and just do voice and text.
It's called a BlackBerry. You can pick up used BB's for nothing. I have at least half dozen of them, I keep them as they are wonderful devices even just for WiFi browsing, typing, music streaming, taking photos, etc (no need for cellular service).
Get an old unlocked BlackBerry OS7 physical keyboard device (the Torch 9810 is my favourite as it combines large screen and slide-out keyboard - see photo below) or a Curve or Bold. Register it to a local carrier. The apps on there are fairly basic, you will get basic Voice and Text service on it. They may come in a few flavours... I know for sure there is a 3G version out there, I was using it on Rogers network in Canada. Not sure about USA but Newegg lists one here, I'm sure a cheaper version is available on eBay:
http://www.newegg.ca/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA8X036X2032Removable battery, ability to add SD memory, durable, easy to charge (micro USB). I have always been BlackBerry and even develop apps for BB10.... I have 1 Pearl, 1 Curve, 2 Torches, 1 Storm, 1 Dev Alpha C (Q10 Prototype) and 2 Red Developer Z10's and I still find them all useful and carry 2 BB's on me all the time. The way BlackBerry is heading with the Priv has left me shaking my head, but that is the topic for another post.