General > General Technical Chat
A frank explanation, and also an apology
eti:
Dear friends, even those who cannot stand seeing my posts...
I wanted to explain a few things about my behaviour, esp maybe the last 6 months. I was under IMMENSE mental duress and anxiety, since 2016 (most of all around 2018-early 2021, and then more in July this year, when I was evicted)
I was in our family home, with the family, since 1982, and in late 2019 my parents had to move out (a house for duty - I can't say more). Those in charge of the employment of the person for whom the house was supplied, were absolutely GHASTLY, uncaring and officious to my dear family, bearing in mind we (I and my siblings) had grown up in this house, and it's all I'd ever known.
Then UK lockdown arrived, early 2020, and I was informed by the "officials" of the agency for which my parents worked, that I was to stay where I was, and keep in the house, my parents having moved.
Pertinent info: I am "on the spectrum" as they say, with ("mild"? Can it be "mild"?) Asperger's, and now immense anxiety from a house move than hung over us like a HUGE black cloud for 3+ years, ENDLESS ineptitude on the behalf of the "officials" and contractors paid to make my parent's retirement home fit to live in, the stress of knowing we were - AND WE WERE - kicked out of our family home of 40 years, all because said agency decides "We like people to retire at 70" - I cannot expand on specifics, but my parents and the whole family are VERY deeply rooted and engrained in the village, we have MANY friends there, and in the other, nearby villages, who ADORE Mum and Dad, and were VERY angry at their forced - ahem - "retirement"
Nutshell: My family, esp my Father and I, were subjected to a barrage of legal "throw some mud @ the wall and see what sticks", lame tactics from clumsy solicitors, showing ZERO compassion or any sense of understanding for our family, bearing in mind the capacity in which they'd worked for them FOR FORTY YEARS. The village I lived in, started making VERY "British" mumblings from certain people, one of whom was the signatory on a "Section 21" eviction, addressed to me and my Father (who was the primary employee) DESPITE them having told me "It's lockdown, stay where you are, and we will update this if lockdown is renewed"
So anyway, in July 2022, I was suddenly evicted, leaving ALL my expensive, precious (even if just to me) gadgets and equipment behind in my FAMILY HOME since I was 7, and I was forced to then move in with my parents (2 miles away), until such time as I am able to get myself back on my feet, mentally, and find a house to rent in our home village.
I have become rather cynical, hermit-like and rather bitter at times, towards people, having had myriad people RAMMING "advice" down my throat, relentlessly, in the middle of what felt like a perpetual mental TORNADO!. I have found it extremely hard (at some points, I recall clearly having lost ALL interest in literally ANYTHING, asking myself "What's the point in interests?" etc.
I am sorry that this negativity and anger has spilled out into EEVBlog. I truly am sorry. I have no excuse to upset anyone, but I felt I owed you some explanation as to why I have been like this for a while.
I hope you can forgive me. Sorry.
Matthew
I am NOT saying this to make excuses, and I AM telling you that the reasons behind what is habitual cynicism and please, know this - I DO SEE IT in myself and do not like it, and am trying to change it.
PS: There are A HUGE amount more twists, turns and utter lunacy in the officials' treatment, which I have left out, but suffice it to say, I wouldn't wish this experience on anyone, EVER.
Ed.Kloonk:
I'm harsh on everyone, so don't feel singled out.
Regarding the last couple of years, push you're energy into doing to them what they did to you. And then some. Unlike them, don't be hap-hazard, the response must be calculated and considered.
If you're stuck on how you might do that, formulate a specific question and ask. :-+
eti:
--- Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on October 21, 2022, 02:49:03 am ---I'm harsh on everyone, so don't feel singled out.
Regarding the last couple of years, push you're energy into doing to them what they did to you. And then some. Unlike them, don't be hap-hazzard, the response must be calculated and considered.
If you're stuck on how you might do that, formulate a specific question and ask. :-+
--- End quote ---
Thank you, Ed :))
fourfathom:
--- Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on October 21, 2022, 02:49:03 am ---push you're energy into doing to them what they did to you. And then some.
--- End quote ---
Or better yet, don't. Live your life the best you can. Looking backwards and fixating on revenge usually leads to self-destruction. There's a corny saying: "Living well is the best revenge." I think this is actually good advice.
Ed.Kloonk:
--- Quote from: fourfathom on October 21, 2022, 06:20:53 am ---
--- Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on October 21, 2022, 02:49:03 am ---push you're energy into doing to them what they did to you. And then some.
--- End quote ---
Or better yet, don't. Live your life the best you can. Looking backwards and fixating on revenge usually leads to self-destruction. There's a corny saying: "Living well is the best revenge." I think this is actually good advice.
--- End quote ---
Someone once told me that if you dig a hole in order to enact avenge, dig a second hole for yourself. Another one is a famous race car driver (Dick Johnson) once said, the only thing looking back gives you is a sore neck.
That said, I'm not talking about fixating on anything illegal. What if ETI spent just half the time badgering these ghouls that messed with him the way he thinks he's badgering us?
Calculated and considered. ETI, is no fool. And obviously knows where the bottom of the barrel is to taper the mania. Keep a lid on the drinking.
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