1….How to Create a “token” electronics engineering company……doing as little as possible electronics engineering….just enough to make your customers think that you know enough about electronics to be able to handle the importation of their electronics product.
So basically a company that deliberately tries to deceive customers and peddle shit quality products into the market, with little to no after-sales support.
2….How to disguise the fact that your customer’s electronics product will be imported from China.
For example. You create a “token” electronics manufacturing operation in UK….and try and fool certain of your customers into believeing that all their product will be manufactured and designed there, in UK.
By making misleading country of origin claims and breaking laws in the process.
2A…How to invent a separate company, at companies house, and do all the importation through this company.
Do it from the “backroom”, so that nobody knows you are doing it. Use your token electronics company to help bring you customers for this separate company. Be sure to tell people that you “don’t do imports”…when in fact, you do …but you just hide this operation from view.
More lies and unconscionable conduct.
2B...Obviously its something of a pain having to pay for this "token" electronics business aspect, when it likely doesn't make money. However, since the overall company is making a profit (just hide the fact that the profit is actually from direct imports), you can look like a "real" Electronics company, and call in things like Government grants (eg Government grant funded projects etc) to help pay for the token electronics business.
Starting to sound more like fraud, tax evasion and obtaining benefit by deception.
3….How to attract (and retain) good electronics engineers into your company, when you have pretty well no real desire whatsoever to do any electronics engineering.
You need to have electronics engineers in your company, in order to fool your customers that you know what you are doing in electronics.
But how do you attract electronics engineers and retain them, when you don’t want to do electronics engineering..?...here’s how…
a)….Never let an electronics engineer get to the end of a project (since they may then leave)…always have them working on multiple unfinshed projects, so that at any time, they can be accused of scuppering a project if they leave. Be sure to make it clear to the electronics engineer that they will be given a bad reference if they leave, since they are “leaving the company when in the middle of a project”.
b) Get the electronics engineer working on a project, then constantly “ throw spanners in the works” so that the engineer cannot finish the project, or is severely delayed in doing so. Then if the electronics engineer trys to leave, be sure to accuse them of “leaving the company when in the middle of a project”.
So not only lying to your customers, but your own employees as well. Yep, sounds like a great way to attract and keep engineers and good talent within a business.
Ways of delaying a project are things like…
(i)….constantly changing the spec to that the Electronics Engineer has to keep starting over. (their work is likely to be only "token" work anyway, not really important, but dont let them know this)
(ii)….ensure that there are delays in getting eg PCBs assembled/manufactured.
(iii)….Keep inventing additional jobs that you throw at the engineer in order to delay them in doing the main project that they are working on.
(iv)…Make them rush out a PCB….make them do it so fast that they make layout mistakes…then insist that they “white wire” modify the PCB to correct it….knowing full well that due to noise reasons this will be a very long job for them, and in fact, it would really be cheaper and quicker to simply re-order the PCB.
(v) With a more junior EE, you can get them to waste time by giving them "carrot on a stick" jobs.....eg, they often dont understand that the high frequency noise seen on scopes is often common mode noise ("pickup").....so get them to try and filter it out with diff mode caps etc in the circuit...and watch them go blue in the face as they try in vain to reduce the noise.
(vi)...Another good one for a junior EE is to give them a computer power supply, and tell them to try and get it working...dont tell them that they have a "5V enable" line in the connector, and that the PSU will never work until they put the 5V into it...watch them spend ages going blue in the face as they try in vain to fix.....this sort of thing is great , as it gets them to waste their time, but doesnt give them any useful experience that they can put on their CV/resume to go and work somewhere else....so you can retain them for longer.
Basically mismanagement and pissing people off.
Anyway, such a great course is definitely needed, can you think of any further subjects for the Syllabus?
No it's not. It's a fucking stupid idea and no half-reputable educational institution would even consider such a course.
I honestly had to read the original post twice before I realised you weren't actually joking. Your thought process is defective. No one with a shred of ethics or integrity would ever consider this a good idea. Faringdon, I hope you are never placed in any position of authority over anything or anyone. I wouldn't trust you to assemble a burger at McDonalds, let alone have any hand in running a business. What you have described is 100% what
not to do... ever.
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