Author Topic: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?  (Read 4809 times)

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Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« on: March 20, 2022, 12:37:12 pm »
I guess this can be too OT, if yes, I ask you to forgive me and if it's needed, just close this thread.

I have always been a nerd, obsessed with electronics, computers and telecommunications.
when I was a child I had my own "laboratory" to play at being an inventor, probably like most of you.

during adolescence I have always pursued this passion. a nerd. so much that this nerdiness has kept me away from relationships with women. I've never been a playboy: the classic good guy (who finishes last).
once I grew up, I found a job other than electronics, but I continued to cultivate my passion: once I got home I always continued with my nerdiness.

despite this "not being a playboy" (I was always in my cave tinkering), I found a woman who loves me and with whom I have lived together for 20 years.
a few years ago, I managed to turn my nerdiness into my main job and I quit my old job.

now I do what I've always wanted to do. I feel fulfilled in my work. and despite my full-time job, I've always continued, once home, to work in my cave.

today I'm 50 years old and recently something has changed in my mind. this has been going on for about 3 months. I come home and I don't feel like tinkering anymore.

I think about other things, relationships, women. It's as if my mind has awakened from something: I feel like I've thrown away my adolescence, that I've missed all the part of partying with friends, of picking up women.
I could miss my whole home lab now and it wouldn't be a problem (a few years ago I would have gone crazy over something like that!).

I've started to change: I go to the gym, I use perfume, I've revamped my wardrobe...I start teasing around with every actractive woman I meet. It's just not me anymore.

I would like some advice from you: has this happened to you before? Is this something that resolves itself? It seems a midlife crisis.
Tell me this is not the prelude to abandon my cave, my electronic instruments and and/or my woman...
 

Offline armandine2

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #1 on: March 20, 2022, 05:33:44 pm »
OTT - so what

you could have a medical - to be safe

you do meet people though who make big changes in their life - consciously. Reject long standing work patterns. Not sure it is very common for people to change much their personal time and ways - unless through hobbies, I guess.
In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught - Hunter S Thompson
 

Offline PaulAm

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #2 on: March 20, 2022, 05:54:34 pm »
Classic midlife crisis.  You are fully in control of what you do and where you go with your llfe.  If you're happy with your relationship, ask yourself if you want to risk destroying it?  It's all up to you, some things you can't undo.

Had a long time friend go through one.  Divorced his wife (with 1 kid), married one of his students, got a wierdo religion and two more kids.  Continues to work at a dead end university job and looked like a refuge  from a homeless shelter the last time I saw him.  He's no longer a friend.  He won't be able to afford to retire until he's in his eighties, if he lives that long.  Don't be that guy.
 
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Offline free_electron

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #3 on: March 20, 2022, 06:26:28 pm »
turning hobby into work is potential danger....

that being said there are other factors.
i find myself drifting away more and more and i don't mind. i got a fulfilling job and the urge to tinker has shifted from electronics to home improvement. My wife and i bought a second home during the covid mess and we have been camping out here for the last two years,workign from home and away from the big city. i got half an acre of land and i'm more busy building a new kitchen , putting in new doors , redo the airco and electrics, plant trees and all kinds of veggies and be outside. if i decide to tinker with something its doing some small stuff for the house ( home automation , sprinkler controller etc ).

I was diagnosed with Afib last november and this has seriously hacked in to me mentally. I had so many plans to go diving the great barrier reef, french polynesia, fiji, palau and many other places. Dreams vaporised. No way back. Diving is an impossibility now due to the risk of gas bubbles forming arterial / pulmonary embolisms. Covid has stolen not only two years of my life it has stolen the ability to travel. I cannot see myself sitting on an airplane for 10+ hours with a diaper across my mouth.
So i shifted to cultivating all kinds of fruit trees, berries, grapes and setting up a backyard that can emulate a 5 star resort. barbeque island, firepit, seating area , pool . the whole shebang. i'll vacation home, far away from all the covid , mouthmask denying , antivaxx assholes.

So there could be all kinds of reasons you are drifting away from the urge to tinker. Interests change over time.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2022, 06:28:43 pm by free_electron »
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Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #4 on: March 20, 2022, 06:31:46 pm »
If you're happy with your relationship, ask yourself if you want to risk destroying it?

Yes, I think about it constantly.
The "problem" seems started few months I began working with young and cute women about half of my age.
I started noticing them and my mind is changed. I've always worked with men or on my own before.

it would be a reassuring thing to know that it has happened to others and that their passion for electronics has returned after a few months
 

Offline cdev

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #5 on: March 20, 2022, 11:53:15 pm »
My passion for electronics took a detour through computing that I'm still on, but I never lost that passion, just realized how broad and deep it is..

...

Just make sure you are honest and open with your current partner who is it sounds like a real find if she appreciates your geek side..

I think you only need to look nit very far to see all sorts of new creative alternatives.. It is a very long time since I was bored or lacking electronics projects to play with. And learn.

I am very interested in radio and want to get my ham license, but the thing that puts me off is the sad and heartbreaking situation of many who I hear on the airwaves. I met some of them when I was a little kid, playing around with CB, now its 50 years later (I moved away from the area I live in today and spent half of my life 2500 miles away) I returned to where I had started, after having had a lot of experiences I never would have had here.. I am certain that making that move was the best thing I could have done. Ive been exposed to powerful tools and now I see that the future is a bright one.

Thanks to things like FOSS, which I was exposed to elsewhere, not here, my life has changed a lot. A couple of years ago I got a cheap logic analyzer and my possibilities opened up dramatically.. wow..Already online via SLIP and various text mode programs, running on Unix, I was ready for the changes, although I didnt know that.  Some friends who I knew from going out were scanninjg rave flyers and putting them online.. I knew that they were able to display graphics, but couldnt see them on my Mac.. the Internet connection didnt have the capability to carry TCP-ip. So I used text, via programs like screen. A local ISP started offering access to The Internet but nobody I knew had that kind of connection. It was around 1991 when I saw XMosaic running on a Sun machine in a museum (Exploratorium) in San Francisco and fell in love with hypertext..Even then I knew that I was looking at the next world changing technology..
I downloaded "A beginners Guide to HTML" by TimBL . I got my slow Internet connection (56k) TCP-ip capable by using a Mac extension that allowed it. This wasnt that easy. Lots of people were getting online but only at a beginning level. All my friends were struggling to begin to swim in this new ocean.. But it happened.. At the beginning it wasnt about e-commerce, in fact, it was frowned upon. The first few years of the online world were a noncommercial time.. In retrospect, lots of the activity around buying and selling was shameless hype and bullshit. At the beginning I with my rudimentary Unix knowledge was way ahead of the flood of new people who got online in he early 90s. They were whelrs and dealers and scammers, largely.. Wild eyed types who wanted to con technical types into doing their work for free. I steered clear of them but I wasnt above taking advantage of being taken out for dinner by them. It was the era of the Internet "boom" but few of the people flooding into the online world were as smart as they were trying to seem.

I hit the ground running and a wealth of new ideas started presenting themselves.. it was amazing how rapidly new ideas started breaking forward.. But few of them were actually that original. Businesses were attracting these people like flies.. Many had started out in multimedia, but multimedia nomatter how magical it was seemed flat and limited in a comparison with the rapidly growing net. 

The cheerleaders for globalization insist the changes that are coming are all good, but they arent. Its no longer the positive world it was then, there are too many who are just trying to get rich quick.  They reek entitlement.. but they dont have the willingness to do positive things to create the ecosystem that will build positive value and especially community and trust.

Because people are struggling, and many are trying to keep people in the dark.

This is leading to a real disaster for many. But we can do so much better and break out of the rut. But it wont happen without our work to have good outcomes. We need to support public education!  Not all can afford private schools.. and privatized everything. The future is not privatization of everything as some would have us think.

I have to realize that I was very lucky and had an opportunity to see how things could work, in an ideal world.. How creative the world can be..

I might easily have just stayed in my rut and I was fairly poor, I lived in poverty..  Everything was very expensive then too, tool wise, too expensive for me. I was lucky because I got in to a new fild where everything was new, right in its infancy.. I saw my opportunity and ran with it.  No matter how smart young people are, the gates are closed to many of them because of "costly screens" that keep people back. They not only cant get ahead, what they do have will be taken from them because they are not just standing still, they are going backwards..  Even the people who think themselves as fairly prepared for the future will find themselves suddenly struggling as a great many jobs inn he developed countries jobs are integrated into international supply chains.  People have no idea how companies are planning to meet the competitive challenges they are seeing. Without the tax base that comes from employment, countries will be facing huge challenges. Where will the money to maintain the infrastructure of the past come from? There is no instruction book. But the system we grew up with, the system that kept everything running, is being dismantled because of its expense.

Please dont get me wrong, the future is bright, but its important to meet this challenge with your skills. Headon. I was lucky.

So many people never have anything like that opportunity I had. So they stay in a rut. These guys sound as if theirs have not. they are now old guys with major health problems. Its so sad.   There is so much to life..

 Whats the point of life without evolution, without fun? All these things are not necessarily incompatible.  Just dont be unrealistic about things. Technology is supposed to wipe out a huge number of jobs over the next few years. People are going to need to have skills to take the new jobs, to replace the old ones that are going to vanish.  Studies I have seen estimate that we'll (here in the US) lose from 26% to more than 45% of our jobs within the next few years, without any improvements in technology. This will happen just because of improvements in communications technology and deregulation of red tape that inhibits trade and digital trade across borders. Almost half of our jobs may vanish, gone, poof. Soon, And many of those those will be professional jobs too.

So, get ready.. Find something you like and do it.. because people find it impossible to devote sustained efforts at the required level, to become truly world class unless they like what they are doing. That said, doors open when you are expressing your best self..

Maybe something will present itself. Just try to make your time productive. Dont sit around doing things that dont support your goals.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2022, 09:16:30 pm by cdev »
"What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away."
 

Online CatalinaWOW

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #6 on: March 21, 2022, 01:46:08 am »
After seven decades I have found my interest in electronics has waxed and waned over time.  It has never gone away completely.

As prior posters have mentioned, think long and hard about huge life changes.  The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.  I have had several friends and acquaintances dump a long term wife or companion.  I only know of one for whom it turned out well.  The other outcomes have ranged from meh down to outright horrible.  So think about all the things that brought you to this woman.  You have known all along about her flaws and until recently they weren't a big issue.  Remember that she has accepted yours.   If after much deep reflection the change seems worthwhile you may choose to proceed, but don't make any hasty decisions.
 
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Offline PaulAm

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2022, 02:01:22 am »
Quote

Yes, I think about it constantly.
The "problem" seems started few months I began working with young and cute women about half of my age.
I started noticing them and my mind is changed. I've always worked with men or on my own before.


Yes, this can be a problem.  I taught college courses with many cute young women.  They were students (or coworkers, or enter your choice), I did not flirt .  That was a red line.  My former friend did not observe that line.  That's a choice you have to make, one way or the other.  consequences will follow from your decision.

Check out the lyrics to the Johnny Cash song "I walk the line", it's about that type of situation.

Most jobs last a few years; you'll probably reinvent yourself a number of times over your career (although it gets harder over 50), your hobbies and interests may change but a good relationship can last your lifetime
 

Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2022, 07:28:40 am »
I did not flirt .  That was a red line.
that's the problem. I feel the NEED to do it, a great need.
The excitement that flirting gives me is something I've never sought in my life (In fact, I often tried to avoid it), but now I seek it almost every moment.
It's terrible that before my mind could "calm down" by simply thinking about electronics (even just my workbench), whereas now I just think about teasing cute women.

Thinking about my electronic instruments and workbench (my passion since childhood) has always brought me back down to earth, given me something to really live for, and now that it's not working that way anymore, it's worrisome for me, especially since it's happened in such a short amount of time.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2022, 11:19:01 am by mcinque »
 

Offline SilverSolder

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2022, 12:05:07 pm »
I guess this can be too OT, if yes, I ask you to forgive me and if it's needed, just close this thread.

I have always been a nerd, obsessed with electronics, computers and telecommunications.
when I was a child I had my own "laboratory" to play at being an inventor, probably like most of you.

during adolescence I have always pursued this passion. a nerd. so much that this nerdiness has kept me away from relationships with women. I've never been a playboy: the classic good guy (who finishes last).
once I grew up, I found a job other than electronics, but I continued to cultivate my passion: once I got home I always continued with my nerdiness.

despite this "not being a playboy" (I was always in my cave tinkering), I found a woman who loves me and with whom I have lived together for 20 years.
a few years ago, I managed to turn my nerdiness into my main job and I quit my old job.

now I do what I've always wanted to do. I feel fulfilled in my work. and despite my full-time job, I've always continued, once home, to work in my cave.

today I'm 50 years old and recently something has changed in my mind. this has been going on for about 3 months. I come home and I don't feel like tinkering anymore.

I think about other things, relationships, women. It's as if my mind has awakened from something: I feel like I've thrown away my adolescence, that I've missed all the part of partying with friends, of picking up women.
I could miss my whole home lab now and it wouldn't be a problem (a few years ago I would have gone crazy over something like that!).

I've started to change: I go to the gym, I use perfume, I've revamped my wardrobe...I start teasing around with every actractive woman I meet. It's just not me anymore.

I would like some advice from you: has this happened to you before? Is this something that resolves itself? It seems a midlife crisis.
Tell me this is not the prelude to abandon my cave, my electronic instruments and and/or my woman...

Welcome to the world of being human, which you may have suppressed for a long time.

Just don't be evil or intentionally hurt anyone, and you'll be fine...
 
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Offline Capernicus

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2022, 12:15:46 pm »
I'm like the exact opposite, I like being wierd, it me feel more like a rare beast. :)

And life is bloody embaressing anyway, and u have to accept these kinds of people, and they make good friends.

If your into technology, did u get your big thing u always wanted?  Otherwise I think you left too early and gave up!!!
 

Online 2N3055

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2022, 12:51:00 pm »
I did not flirt .  That was a red line.
that's the problem. I feel the NEED to do it, a great need.
The excitement that flirting gives me is something I've never sought in my life (In fact, I often tried to avoid it), but now I seek it almost every moment.
It's terrible that before my mind could "calm down" by simply thinking about electronics (even just my workbench), whereas now I just think about teasing cute women.

Thinking about my electronic instruments and workbench (my passion since childhood) has always brought me back down to earth, given me something to really live for, and now that it's not working that way anymore, it's worrisome for me, especially since it's happened in such a short amount of time.


I'm 50 something and will tell you what I say to my friends, many of whom tell the similar story.
I will be blunt, because there is not nice way to say this:

Stop being and idiot. Behave appropriate to your age. If you have good woman hold on to her with both hands. They are rare.

You cannot make up for the lost time. What you didn't do when you were young is gone.

Young woman that smile back at you when you flirt with them are just being polite. You're nice to them and they return kindness. Don't read into it something else because there isn't anything else there. You're an old farth to them as am I or any guy over some 35....

Today in politically correct world, they call it "mid life crisis". It is more like "mid life stupidity"...

If this "virtual slap on the face" didn't do wake you up, go see a therapist.
Maybe you have depression. That is a serious health problem and needs action.
I don't know. Talk to an actual professional in that field.

Any way, remember you are NOT a teenager and stop behaving as one...
Don't screw up good life because you're bored.

Or if you have actual problem with depression (it is actually very common) go talk to a therapist. As soon as possible. Sooner you react, easier it and faster is to resolve problems.

Be well and sorry for being blunt.
I mean well.
"Just hard work is not enough - it must be applied sensibly."
Dr. Richard W. Hamming
 
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Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2022, 01:36:16 pm »
Young woman that smile back at you when you flirt with them are just being polite. You're nice to them and they return kindness. Don't read into it something else because there isn't anything else there. You're an old farth to them as am I or any guy over some 35....
a +40yo colleague of mine regularly "hooks up" with 24yo. I am not saying that will be the same for me, but the problem is the attitude/mindset. if you insist, you will find someone, perhaps someone with similar age to yours, but you will find someone. I would love to go back to my "cocoon" where I used to saturate everything with my toys/workbench.
« Last Edit: March 21, 2022, 01:55:59 pm by mcinque »
 

Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2022, 01:58:08 pm »
Young woman that smile back at you when you flirt with them are just being polite. You're nice to them and they return kindness. Don't read into it something else because there isn't anything else there. You're an old farth to them as am I or any guy over some 35....
a +40yo colleague of mine regularly "hooks up" with 24yo. I am not saying that will be the same for me, but the problem is the attitude/mindset. if you insist, you will find someone, perhaps someone with similar age to yours, but you will find someone. I would love to go back to my "cocoon" where I used to saturate everything with my toys/workbench.


Quote
If you have good woman hold on to her with both hands. They are rare.
Rationally, yes, absolutely, it's the right thing.
But when it comes to emotions, rationality doesn't seem to work: you can know it's the right thing to do but still, not have the slightest desire to do it. And doing something unwillingly, when it comes to people, doesn't seem to be the right thing...
« Last Edit: March 21, 2022, 02:13:46 pm by mcinque »
 

Offline Bud

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2022, 03:40:51 pm »
Keep your toys and workbench, you will need them when your last blast of testosterone will wear out. :)
Facebook-free life and Rigol-free shack.
 
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Offline jmelson

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #15 on: March 21, 2022, 05:16:20 pm »
If you have spent a lot of time,effort and money developing skills and setting up a lab, it would be a shame to abandon it all.  As others said, typical midlife crisis, that's what we call it in the US.  Get out in the fresh air, do something else for a while, and you may get your enthusiasm back.
I am much the same, but never really did the midlife crisis thing, still married to the same woman, and still picking at electronic projects at work and at home.
I'm now 71, still working, and that is getting close to burning me out.  I have WAY more than a typical home lab/shop.  I am on my second pick and place machine (saga has been reported in the manufacturing topic), a big lathe and CNC mill.
Jon
 
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Online RJSV

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2022, 02:13:48 am »
Sounds like...a lot of familiar things, but I'm reading a big repeated; Asking for 'permission', to Goof-Off, blow some steam, Spring Break, even...
So, the reckless things, NO...You don't wanna 'Hot Chick / Fast Car...Break out the BOOZE...
   Some of that, recreation is OK, but, safety first, you have 'adult' judgement, or seems at least, intent.
Keeping something like alcohol use in check, and touching bases with a (real) licensed therapy pro, is gonna be extra cool head.
Reply from cdev was good, although unusually wordy, was worth the time.
 

Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2022, 03:10:45 am »
I'd like to point out that 50 is now what used to be 40. Buy the sports car. Get it out of your system. Don't buy a motor bike if you're 50 and never owned one, that's silly.

Enjoy your 50's. Get some loud t-shirts. Go nuts!

Oh, and schedule a colonoscopy.
« Last Edit: March 22, 2022, 05:22:52 am by Ed.Kloonk »
iratus parum formica
 
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Offline Kasper

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #18 on: March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 am »
As the others say, I'm no therapist and I think it makes sense to see one before taking big risks. 

Being attracted to women can be frustrating at times but I think it's worth it as long as you can enjoy the small things and make peace with the fact that you will never get everything you want.

Have you tried sports or video games?  Sometimes the cravings for new women can be fullfilled by other types of excitment or new experiences. 

Seems perfectly reasonable that you are seeking new experiences.  40 hours a week of electronics is enough for me.

As exciting as your friend's stories sound, keep in mind it is common for men to wildly exagurrate stories like that and it is rare for them to share stories of loneliness and desperation.  Ontop of that, your friend may be conflicted by wanting a wing man.  You may be viewing a very skewed sample of that kind of life.

Before making big changes, try some small changes. Try hiking or jogging, rent ATVs, buy an off road vehical and take the wife off-roading, play tennis, whatever.  Maybe you and your wife will both get into shape, find some fun sports, covid will end and you'll go to a few parties, get your fill of socializing and life will be great.  Or maybe you'll end up single where having interesting and social hobbies and being in shape reduces the odds of a lonely and desperate end to your mid life crisis.  Either way, I shudder at the thought of doing nothing but electronics and I think fresh air, exercise and excitment solve most problems.
 
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Offline Kasper

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #19 on: March 22, 2022, 04:13:44 am »
I'd like to point out that 50 is now what used to be 40. Buy the sports car. Get it out of your system. Don't buy a motor bike if your 50 and never owned one, that's silly.

Enjoy your 50's. Get some loud t-shirts. Go nuts!

Oh, and schedule a colonoscopy.

I had a mid 20s crisis and bought a dirtbike. Almost lasted a whole week before I tried wheelying and ended up in the hospital.  Kind of sucked losing function in my right arm for a while but learning to do things left handed did make life interesting. 
 

Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #20 on: March 22, 2022, 04:52:09 am »
I'd like to point out that 50 is now what used to be 40. Buy the sports car. Get it out of your system. Don't buy a motor bike if your 50 and never owned one, that's silly.

Enjoy your 50's. Get some loud t-shirts. Go nuts!

Oh, and schedule a colonoscopy.

I had a mid 20s crisis and bought a dirtbike. Almost lasted a whole week before I tried wheelying and ended up in the hospital.  Kind of sucked losing function in my right arm for a while but learning to do things left handed did make life interesting.

The ground seems to get harder as you get older.
iratus parum formica
 

Offline Kasper

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #21 on: March 22, 2022, 05:17:47 am »
I'd like to point out that 50 is now what used to be 40. Buy the sports car. Get it out of your system. Don't buy a motor bike if your 50 and never owned one, that's silly.

Enjoy your 50's. Get some loud t-shirts. Go nuts!

Oh, and schedule a colonoscopy.

I had a mid 20s crisis and bought a dirtbike. Almost lasted a whole week before I tried wheelying and ended up in the hospital.  Kind of sucked losing function in my right arm for a while but learning to do things left handed did make life interesting.

The ground seems to get harder as you get older.

Yes it does seem that way and the injuries last longer.  It felt pretty hard at the time though, I was used to falling on snow.
 
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Offline Dubbie

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #22 on: March 22, 2022, 05:22:10 am »
Seems like you are well on your way to becoming that creepy guy that all the young woman warn each other about.
 

Offline penfold

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #23 on: March 22, 2022, 08:59:53 am »
[...]
I've started to change: I go to the gym, I use perfume, I've revamped my wardrobe...I start teasing around with every actractive woman I meet. It's just not me anymore.

I would like some advice from you: has this happened to you before? Is this something that resolves itself? It seems a midlife crisis.
Tell me this is not the prelude to abandon my cave, my electronic instruments and and/or my woman...

I'd really recommend speaking to a therapist/counselor, it sounds like a bit of a mind vs brain issue: it sounds like you don't want to give up any of those things, but there's a bit of a brain-chemistry shift that's making you crave the more "exciting" side of life and that can happen for so many reasons at any age and it's not a pleasant thing to go through... speak to anybody with bipolar or ADHD if you want to know how easy it is to regret following those whims and fancies no matter how permanent or justified they feel.
Maybe it'll pass or maybe it's a permanent change, but don't throw away anything that you'll never get back (time, 20-year long relationships, friends, test gear collections etc) without an absolute guarantee of its permanency.

The rational interpretation is that going to the gym, flirting, wearing perfume, and revamping your wardrobe are all common sources of endorphins: directly from exercise or indirectly by getting noticed or complimented on positive changes. The human brain is very good at attributing those endorphin sources to specific things and making you believe that's what you want and making you feel depressed when you don't do those things or envious of others that do... but all it wants are those endorphins. There are only so many new outfits you can buy, only so dense a fog of cologne your colleagues can tolerate, and hours per week you can put towards chasing 24 year-olds or at the gym... if it's a permanent problem, find a permanent solution. Or at least, don't sacrifice anything for a temporary fix that'll only leave you craving your old life. Speak to a pro, they're good at that stuff.

Take that with a pinch of salt, I'm just having my mid-30s crisis now, but I'm hoping the solution is going to be to settle down and grow my electronics lab a bit more... please don't prove me wrong!
 
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Offline mcinqueTopic starter

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Re: ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear?
« Reply #24 on: March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 am »
Keep your toys and workbench, you will need them when your last blast of testosterone will wear out. :)
;D

If you have spent a lot of time,effort and money developing skills and setting up a lab, it would be a shame to abandon it all.
totally agree

make peace with the fact that you will never get everything you want.
I know that, unfortunately

Have you tried sports or video games?  Sometimes the cravings for new women can be fullfilled by other types of excitment or new experiences.
videogames have been a big part of my 20's and 30's, especially online. they even made me temporarily lose some friends, so much so that I was dedicated. I tried to get back into them but the gaming community now is really toxic and overcompetitive, to the point that playing is no longer fun unless you have the attitude of a 7 year old kid. before we played on national servers, we knew almost everyone (we were always the same names, the online community before was not so great), we all spoke the same language and above all for the majority we respected each other: we played for fun above all. Now in any game you enter there are hordes of kids who shout into the microphone, use cheats of all kinds, go to humiliate those of lower level (trolling/smurfing) ... stuff that only kindergarteners do.
I recently started playing sports again on solo.

Seems perfectly reasonable that you are seeking new experiences.
this is very comforting to me

As exciting as your friend's stories sound, keep in mind it is common for men to wildly exagurrate stories like that and it is rare for them to share stories of loneliness and desperation.  Ontop of that, your friend may be conflicted by wanting a wing man.  You may be viewing a very skewed sample of that kind of life.
Oh yes, this is totally true. He himself has told me that the life he has chosen is not all it seems and he is the first to tell me not to do as he does.

Before making big changes, try some small changes
Yes, I'm trying to do that

Or maybe you'll end up single where having interesting and social hobbies and being in shape reduces the odds of a lonely and desperate end to your mid life crisis
Agree. Thanks for your kind and deep message!

The human brain is very good at attributing those endorphin sources to specific things and making you believe that's what you want and making you feel depressed when you don't do those things or envious of others that do... but all it wants are those endorphins.
^THIS
I've repeatedly thought about this: you're right. What I'm looking for is is that euphoric feeling when I get a date with a young woman. Something I used to try with new electronic projects or computer things. Something that now I lost and probably I'm seeking in other things.


 


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