ok
what you do is this:
1) water your plants with a flower pot that has a shower head type thing on it
2) measure how much water you use (measure how much you put into the pot vs how much is left) to get satisfactory soil conditions
3) hook up a pump that you want to use
4) connect outlet of pump to a water bucket, and turn pump on. Measure how long it takes to fill the bucket with the amount of water you want.
5) adjust the MCU to run the pump for that long
Doing calculations on flow, pressure drop, etc on a one off home water system is insane. If anything, get a over sized pump, and put some of the water BACK into the tank with a flow bypass (just a tube with a restriction that lets some of the water you are pumping back into the tank to reduce the pump output ability. What you don't want it soggy soil or water flow so high that it moves the soil around or disturbs roots.
Put the pots on dish trays to account for variation in moisture content of soil because of heat (drainage).
Hydropodnics is more complicated.
If you want to know how to actually get the numbers (don't do this for a home system on a BALCONY. Maybe if it was a big outdoor garden 1/2 acre+ size

):
1) you need a flow meter and a differential pressure gauge (or two pressure gauges). Put a flow meter on the output of your pump (connected by a short length of tubing to eliminate some turbulence from the pump). Connect the flow meter to a pressure gauge on a T by another short length of tubing. Connect the tubing you want to test here, then put another T with another pressure gauge there. By taking the difference in the pressure gauges you know the pressure drop across your pipe (or you use a differential pressure gauge$ $$). It will change depending on how the tube is bent and stuff, but you can categorize it this way. Then you have flow (current) and pressure drop (voltage) across the pipe. And you need to put some restriction on outlet so the two gauges are operating in similar areas to be accurate (i.e don't compare 150psi and 2 psi)
It's usually used for non-transparent internally complicated things to test for corrosion/clogging, i.e. you get the expected pressure drop @ some flow across some device.. then you can test it later. If it drifts alot its probably clogging or fouling etc.
https://www.masterflex.com/i/cole-parmer-acrylic-flowmeter-w-o-valve-for-h2o-ss-1400-ml-min/6856183https://www.grainger.com/product/GRAINGER-APPROVED-2-Test-Pressure-Gauge-4FLU4 (2x)
or
https://winters.com/productcategory/differential-gauges/ one of these (1x) with each input connected to a hose that goes to the T (its more accurate but $ and more useless)