Bad Electronics Jokes

[timenutgoblin]

Some terrible electronics and computing jokes I made over the years, some people at here may enjoy them.

Your avatar reminds me of a character called Tiffany from the movie "Men in Black".

To be honest, I'd appreciate it if you eased up off my back about it.

Source: Amblin, MiB

[niconiconi]

Q: What does an embedded developer say when assembly code for a PIC16 microcontroller doesn't work?

A: W the F?

[MrMobodies]

Q: What's the difference between Fifa and Rifa

A: One kicks off immediately and the other kicks off 40 years down the line.

[niconiconi]

Q: What do you say when equipment is destroyed by overvoltage despite gas-discharge tube protection?

A: There is a gap in the design.

[niconiconi]

Q: What do you say when cheap SSDs are immediately sold out during a holiday?

A: A Flash sale.

[niconiconi]

Q: What does a contractor say when customers found defective products with loose screws?

A: I don't know what you're torquing about.

[niconiconi]

Q: Why was the technician arrested by the authority after driving too much power into a diode detector?

A: For violating the square law.

[niconiconi]

Q: Why does a web server operated by electronics undergrads block all ports but 80 and 443?

A: They're only familiar with two-port networks.

[niconiconi]

Q: Why do 8-bit computer programmers never have any bad experience with financial services?

A: They're good at bank switching.

[niconiconi]

Q: What should you do when people believe that the energy in electrical circuits is carried by electrons?

A: Poynting out their mistake.

[NiHaoMike]

Q: What do you say when cheap SSDs are immediately sold out during a holiday?

A: A Flash sale.

$80 for 2TB (NVMe!) is pretty close to 2.5" HDD pricing, actually managed to get one which I then stuck in an enclosure for a great Ventoy drive.

Q: Why is EXT4 so great for a skinny SSD?
A: It's FAT free.

[MrMobodies]

Q: What would make a good element for Photonicinduction?

A: Electroboom

[niconiconi]

Q: What algorithm do electronics beginners use to find chips?

A: DIP-first search.

[niconiconi]

Q: What do you say when design engineers suddenly decided to stop a CMOS project in favor of ECL to make it the world's fastest chip, at the cost of 100x higher power consumption?

A: They're going bipolar.

[eti]

Q: Why don't zero-ohm resistors have anywhere to stay?

A: Because they are ohmless

That’s extremely contrived. 😁 - why would resistors need a home? My Dad forces “jokes” like that, heheh.

You’re far from alone on that score. I’ve seen countless “jokes” here that are SO forced, and my autism detector is going off no end (I have Asperger’s).

Google “what makes a joke work” -  the basic elements are essential.

[MK14]

Q: What is red all over, but actually is made with a mixture of different colours?

A: eti

[Berni]

That’s extremely contrived. 😁 - why would resistors need a home? My Dad forces “jokes” like that, heheh.

Well the title of the thread is Bad Electronics Jokes, not Good Electronics Jokes. Some jokes work on the premise of being so bad that they are funny (like dad jokes)

[MrMobodies]

Q: What is poor conversion efficiency to the secondary where the losses on the primary side are none?

A: Fix betting odd terminals/gambling machines.

Anyone like to make some about gambling machines?

[Ed.Kloonk]

Q: What is poor conversion efficiency to the secondary where the losses on the primary side are none?

A: Fix betting odd terminals/gambling machines.

Anyone like to make some about gambling machines?

Youtuber Dave's Garage recently did a vid on slot machines and included some facts about probability, the winning algos and other stuff within.

[SeanB]

Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.

[MrMobodies]

I don't think I explained well but my joke was about the money going in less coming out as I have seen at the local pubhouse.

I was told by the barman that the modern gambling machines provided to him are set to make a certain amount of money (where a percent goes to him and then the provider '76% payout' and said something about "the house always wins" where they will always make money otherwise they wouldn't be there.

Q: What is someone not asking themselves when they keep on topping up a fixed odd betting terminal only to keep on loosing?

A: Are you playing it or is it playing you?

[tom66]

Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.

No, because I swear man, I like, have a system.  All I need to do is get 7 losses in a row then I'm guaranteed to have a win.

... A friend of mine tried to convince me that the gambler's fallacy applied to the stock market, that based on a past decline trend one could essentially guarantee an increase the next week.  Little did I know at the time, this is actually an entire field called technical analysis, and it is almost entirely bullshit.

Oh, wait, this is a jokes thread.

[NiHaoMike]

Q: Why do 8-bit computer programmers never have any bad experience with financial services?

A: They're good at bank switching.

I forwarded that joke to a friend who is an accountant, she thought it was funny once I explained it to her.

[TimFox]

In the same vein, one of my engineer colleagues complained that Excel could not handle complex numbers directly.
I explained that Excel was invented for accountants, and that they could be jailed for using imaginary numbers.

[niconiconi]

Q: What does an experimenter say when the laser build is successful?

A: HeHeHe.

Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.

Little did I know at the time, this is actually an entire field called technical analysis, and it is almost entirely bullshit.

Oh, wait, this is a jokes thread.

The most "interesting" justification of technical analysis I've heard of is that since enough people already believe it, it may occasionally "work" as a self-fulfilling prophecy, it's said that Ichimoku charts only work in Japan because of that.