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| pcprogrammer:
--- Quote ---I wish bigfoot the best for his future; hopefully he gets the right support and can turn things around for himself. --- End quote --- Me too. Must have been quite a job to delete his posts. I think he had near or over 500 of them. He could have left the ones that did not include bits about his personal situation. He did show willingness to work on his problem and try to earn money. Don't want to feed the ones that don't show this willingness. :palm: |
| Nominal Animal:
--- Quote from: ebastler on February 19, 2023, 08:22:16 am ---Not sure what drove his decision, but he had certainly disclosed a lot of detail about his challenging personal situation in his posts. In my opinion it was a wise decision to remove them and let that published persona disappear. --- End quote --- Perhaps. I saw details that closely reminded of myself a decade and a bit ago, when I was really in a bad place, not having started cognitive-behavioural therapy yet. Very, very close similarities, although my problems stem from my work history and lack of work-life balance. I have been open about my own history, exactly because a large part of my problems was that I did not know how to speak about them, or even how to seek help. My problems didn't/coudn't fester, but they certainly ground me down during the years. Yet, having issues with depression and burnout is really no different than having a broken leg: in most cases, you can heal and become strong enough to not suffer anymore, even if you'll have some lingering effects like a twinge whenever the weather changes. Some disagree, but they're wrong. (I agree to removing the personal posts possibly being wise, simply because many people are stupid, and revealing anything about oneself makes one a possible target for stupid people. I have considered that myself, and decided that the positive effects (of maybe helping someone consider checking if they need help) are much bigger for myself than the risk of being targeted by stupid people. I already get targeted by stupid people for all sorts of reasons anyway, down to the choice of a mascot, one more isn't a big deal. So, the best decision will definitely vary from person to person.) |
| pcprogrammer:
--- Quote from: Nominal Animal on February 19, 2023, 10:00:08 am ---I have been open about my own history, exactly because a large part of my problems was that I did not know how to speak about them, or even how to seek help. My problems didn't/coudn't fester, but they certainly ground me down during the years. Yet, having issues with depression and burnout is really no different than having a broken leg: in most cases, you can heal and become strong enough to not suffer anymore, even if you'll have some lingering effects like a twinge whenever the weather changes. Some disagree, but they're wrong. --- End quote --- True, one can heal from a depression or a burnout, and I don't see it as a weakness to tell others about it. As written before, I have been there myself. But in my case, and probably in the case of many others, it is due to ones own personality that it happens. And this is one of the most difficult things to change. Your personality. I had to learn to say "no" to avoid taking on to much work. In itself a lot of work is not a real problem, but when time enters the building it introduces stress. And that is where it went wrong for me. --- Quote from: Nominal Animal on February 19, 2023, 10:00:08 am ---(I agree to removing the personal posts possibly being wise, simply because many people are stupid, and revealing anything about oneself makes one a possible target for stupid people. I have considered that myself, and decided that the positive effects (of maybe helping someone consider checking if they need help) are much bigger for myself than the risk of being targeted by stupid people. I already get targeted by stupid people for all sorts of reasons anyway, down to the choice of a mascot, one more isn't a big deal. So, the best decision will definitely vary from person to person.) --- End quote --- It is not just stupid people that might target someones weakness. Greed, vengeance, envy, etc. are trades of dumb as well as smart people. |
| tggzzz:
--- Quote from: Nominal Animal on February 19, 2023, 10:00:08 am ---(I agree to removing the personal posts possibly being wise, simply because many people are stupid, and revealing anything about oneself makes one a possible target for stupid people. I have considered that myself, and decided that the positive effects (of maybe helping someone consider checking if they need help) are much bigger for myself than the risk of being targeted by stupid people. I already get targeted by stupid people for all sorts of reasons anyway, down to the choice of a mascot, one more isn't a big deal. So, the best decision will definitely vary from person to person.) --- End quote --- I regard being open about problems (technical, personal, personality, etc) to be a strength rather than a weakness, for two reasons: * acknowledgement is the necessary precondition for improvement * the information can smooth future plans and interactions, leading to a better resultHaving said that, I won't mention something unless it is relevant to the audience. Sometimes that might be a public forum, sometimes a family member. I won't mention it to random strangers unless there is a reasonably belief they might help. A few random strangers are malicious, most are uninterested in me (very sensibly!). |
| Nominal Animal:
--- Quote from: pcprogrammer on February 19, 2023, 10:23:13 am ---It is not just stupid people that might target someones weakness. Greed, vengeance, envy, etc. are trades of dumb as well as smart people. --- End quote --- Very good point; agreed. In anger, in the heat of a moment, anyone can stoop that low, without thinking; it is only human. --- Quote from: tggzzz on February 19, 2023, 10:52:26 am ---I won't mention it to random strangers unless there is a reasonably belief they might help. A few random strangers are malicious, most are uninterested in me (very sensibly!). --- End quote --- Very sensible approach, I agree. I do worry myself if I bring it up too often, because it is not something I consider a defining characteristic at all; more like an anecdote about ones work history, like a tale about a coworker dismissive of personal protective equipment losing a finger and an eye in an unfortunate, but entirely foreseeable, table saw and fluorescent lamp accident. It is not useful to repeat such anecdotes too often. |
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