Author Topic: engineering jokes  (Read 24414 times)

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Online AlfBaz

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #150 on: March 03, 2020, 11:03:51 pm »
Too soon? :D
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #151 on: March 28, 2020, 11:39:06 pm »
Isaac Newton: "Today, I'm staying at home, chilling."

'Isaac, we cannot publish that!"

"Ok, write the following: First Newton's Law: In an inertial frame of reference, an object either remains at rest or continues to move at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by a force."
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline dbctronic

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #152 on: March 29, 2020, 01:48:36 am »
An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are attending a conference. They stay in hotel rooms with walls that meet at a common corner.
An outlet in the corner shorts out and starts a fire. The engineer runs for his room's fire extinguisher, douses the outlet, then douses the wall for a two foot radius around. He then starts writing a log and observes it for the next two hours.
The physicist does a quick calculation on a notepad, gets his fire extinguisher, and douses his wall with one precise burst. He is satisfied after ten minutes that he's put it out.
The mathematician stares at the fire in his wall, thinks for a moment, then runs into the bathroom and runs water on his hand. He nods and goes back to bed.
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #153 on: April 01, 2020, 12:55:30 pm »
A police officer stops a car. Behind the steering wheel sits Heisenberg.
Officer: "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I do know exactly where I am."

Better version:

Heisenberg, Schrödinger and Ohm are in a car and they get pulled over. Heisenberg is driving and the cop asks him “Do you know how fast you were going?”

“No, but I know exactly where I am” Heisenberg replies.

The cop says “You were doing 55 in a 35.” Heisenberg throws his handy and shouts “Great! Now I’m lost!”

The cop thinks this is suspicious and orders him to pop open the trunk. He checks it out and says “Do you know you have a dead cat back here?”

“We do now, asshole!” shouts Schroedinger.

The cop moves to arrest them. Ohm resists.
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline mrflibble

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #154 on: April 01, 2020, 05:40:07 pm »
That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
I tried that, but the beer fell out.
Pffff, wrong dimension. The normal vector should be parallel to that time arrow thingy. That neatly solves the orthogonality and beer existence problem in one go. *burp*

 

Offline MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #155 on: April 02, 2020, 11:54:04 pm »
I have a small simple joke:

A manager walks into a firm and says to everyone, "We're going to be needing new firmware in this office so therefore you're all FIRED!"
 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #156 on: April 03, 2020, 08:27:40 am »
I have a small simple joke:

A manager walks into a firm and says to everyone, "We're going to be needing new firmware in this office so therefore you're all FIRED!"

Ungh!, That's a mean one!  >:D
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 

Online bd139

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #157 on: April 03, 2020, 08:53:23 am »
We regularly refer to the office folk as firmware or meatspace :-DD
 

Offline hwj-d

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #158 on: April 03, 2020, 03:45:31 pm »
I'm empty. So, no need to fire me ...  :-//
 

Online Nominal Animal

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #159 on: April 03, 2020, 05:09:33 pm »
That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
I tried that, but the beer fell out.
Pffff, wrong dimension. The normal vector should be parallel to that time arrow thingy. That neatly solves the orthogonality and beer existence problem in one go. *burp*
Took me a while, but I contacted some of my crosstime alternatives.  They got frigging angry, me talking about beer.  Most of them have to drink kilju, since there is no more beer there due to the nuclear fallout. Kilju being made of water, sugar, and yeast (they say they use a small dead critter instead), has no head.

Oh wait, you said parallel, not perpendicular...  Nevermind.
 

Offline daqq

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #160 on: June 06, 2020, 08:40:24 pm »
99 little bugs in the code,
99 little bugs. Take one down,
 patch it around,
117 little bugs in the code.
Believe it or not, pointy haired people do exist!
+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
 
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Online Larryc001

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #161 on: June 09, 2020, 04:56:50 am »
I don’t know if this has anything to do with engineering but I thought it is pretty funny.

The Gerrymandering font

https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-apps/imrs.php?src=https://arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com/public/KC3PGZHZBJFZDFF5S5VKVCDNJM.jpg&w=916
 
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