Author Topic: engineering jokes  (Read 45054 times)

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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #250 on: October 22, 2020, 07:53:09 pm »
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #251 on: March 09, 2021, 08:12:48 am »
Good morning EEVBlog fellows  ;D

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline bd139

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #252 on: March 09, 2021, 08:25:14 am »
C! Here as I’m lactose intolerant  :)
 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #253 on: March 09, 2021, 08:35:14 am »
Especially for you:



After all, the equation does not say anything about lactose.  :-DD

 :D :-+
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline bd139

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #254 on: March 09, 2021, 12:05:52 pm »
That’s fair  :-DD
 

Offline Cyberdragon

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #255 on: March 09, 2021, 07:08:43 pm »
Is the milk technically even whole anymore with the lactose removed. 8)
*BZZZZZZAAAAAP*
Voltamort strikes again!
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Offline RJHayward

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #256 on: March 09, 2021, 10:29:24 pm »
The bunch of manufacturing TECHs, at Qantel, Hayward, Ca were wild (and smart).
  There was always the 'Boots under the door, to the toilet: obvious someone in there ?' No.
Stupid stupid stupid.
   The clean room guyes made hard resin 'spills', that's a paper cup looking like it got knocked over by accident and looks like a mess of liquid spilled out.
Sounds stupid, but I guess stupid has its own particular strength. Worked to make the new guy start dividing with his belt, and kept checking his calculator.
I don't know what those cruel bast's thought, that that could even be funny!
   Oh and now realizing, you didn't specify 'Practical Jokes...

   I know you can get freon to explode a shrink tube.
Place tie wraps on ends and fill w freon. (Place 'bomb' in aisle). Eventually, room temperature acts to raise freon pressure, and ... BAM
 

Offline daqq

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #257 on: March 11, 2021, 12:31:08 pm »
I always assumed that this was the case. Thank you internet for the confirmation.
« Last Edit: March 11, 2021, 12:36:49 pm by daqq »
Believe it or not, pointy haired people do exist!
+++Divide By Cucumber Error. Please Reinstall Universe And Reboot +++
 

Offline harerod

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #258 on: March 11, 2021, 05:10:15 pm »
Q: How many German engineers does it take to change a light bulp?
A: Just won! Ve are werry efficient and don't haff a sense of humor!
Before you speak, let your words pass through three gates: At the first gate, ask yourself “Is it true?” At the second gate ask, “Is it necessary?” At the third gate ask, “Is it kind?” – Rumi
 
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Offline metrologist

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #259 on: March 12, 2021, 04:36:04 am »
Heads up

 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #260 on: March 23, 2021, 07:41:11 am »
Why are people from Norway so good at editing files in Linux?
...







...




Their ancestors are vi-kings.
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline jonovid

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #261 on: March 27, 2021, 09:25:26 pm »
Please Explain! ...this
Hobbyist with a basic knowledge of electronics
 
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Online Ed.Kloonk

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #262 on: March 27, 2021, 10:17:00 pm »
Please Explain! ...this


Holy shit!

A white Geordi La forge!

 

Online Ed.Kloonk

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #263 on: March 27, 2021, 10:20:20 pm »
What do you get when you cross a beaver with an elephant?








I don't know either, but you should see the size of the dams this thing builds.
 

Offline Cyberdragon

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #264 on: March 27, 2021, 11:49:31 pm »
A number walks into a program bar looking sus. "What are you doing here?" Says the bartender. "I'm just an integer minding my own buisiness" "Yeah...sure." The number's jacket pops open revealing a decimal and a bunch more numbers. "I knew you were double when you walked in!"
*BZZZZZZAAAAAP*
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Explodingus - someone who frequently causes accidental explosions
 

Offline bsfeechannel

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #265 on: March 28, 2021, 06:13:24 am »
Please Explain! ...this


No wonder you're confused. He forgot to mention that the combo combobulator is in fact actuated by the pin of the clamp pole inside the ratcheting rachelette mounted on the shifting shaft.
 

Offline rfclown

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #266 on: March 28, 2021, 10:19:57 pm »
The original is a Turbo Encabulator.

 

Online MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #267 on: March 28, 2021, 11:48:37 pm »
What meat burger is pretence?
 

Offline bsfeechannel

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #268 on: March 29, 2021, 05:24:06 pm »
Impossible™ Whopper®?
 

Online MrMobodies

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #269 on: March 29, 2021, 06:51:37 pm »
meat free burger.
 

Offline coppice

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #270 on: March 29, 2021, 07:23:31 pm »
meat free burger.
Fat free burgers. You only pay for the meat.
 

Online Ed.Kloonk

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #271 on: March 30, 2021, 09:40:02 am »
Made in U.K.    ;D


[attachimg=1]
 

Offline Shiv

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #272 on: March 30, 2021, 10:38:18 am »
Four friends go on holiday to South Africa - one English, one American, one French and one Chinese. While out trekking in the countryside they find some gold in the ground. The Frenchman, a geologist, realises that they have stumbled across a rich seam, suitable for a new mine.

The American happens to be a billionaire, so he buys the land with an arrangement that they split the profits four ways - The Englishman is an engineer, so is put in charge of extraction. The Chinese man is involved in import and export so is put in charge of supplies. The Frenchman is a manager, so is put in charge with overseeing the whole operation.

A year later the American returns to see how his investment is going. First he goes to the main office to see how the Frenchman is doing.

"Well," he says, "we're getting some gold out, but there seem to be some problems with the extraction. You'd better go down and see."

So the American walks down to the mine, meets the Englishman emerging from the entrance and asks him how things are going.

"Well" he says, "my boys are fine, but the Chinese guy just isn't pulling his weight. Go down there and you'll see what I mean."

So he walks down into the mine. After a couple of hundred yards it's almost pitch black down there and he can't see or hear anyone. All of a sudden the Chinese guy jumps out from behind a pillar and shouts "Supplies!"  :D


 :-DD :-DD :-DD
 

Offline BU508A

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #273 on: March 30, 2021, 05:37:06 pm »
 :o :o :o :o :o




 :-DD :-DD :-DD :-DD :-DD :-DD :-+ :-+ :-+
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
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Offline bsfeechannel

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Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #274 on: March 31, 2021, 01:22:59 am »
I find it interesting how Keysight uses the banana beta decay as a staple of its technology.

 


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