engineering jokes

[tom66]

^That reminds me of another related mechanics joke.

A world-class heart surgeon is waiting in the lobby of a Mercedes dealership to pick up his new car.  The lead mechanic spots him and asks him, "Hey, can I ask you a question?" 

Somewhat surprised, the surgeon agrees. "So, I've just swapped the cylinder head in that AMG over there.  I can take valves out, change the timing belt and flush the fluids, and do it faster than the warranty card says.    So how come I get paid a pittance and you get the big bucks, when you and I do pretty much the same thing?"

The surgeon says, "Yes, that's impressive", sipping on his latte, "...but have you tried doing it with the engine running?"

[Ed.Kloonk]

[Zeyneb]

^That reminds me of another related mechanics joke.

A world-class heart surgeon is waiting in the lobby of a Mercedes dealership to pick up his new car.  The lead mechanic spots him and asks him, "Hey, can I ask you a question?" 

Somewhat surprised, the surgeon agrees. "So, I've just swapped the cylinder head in that AMG over there.  I can take valves out, change the timing belt and flush the fluids, and do it faster than the warranty card says.    So how come I get paid a pittance and you get the big bucks, when you and I do pretty much the same thing?"

The surgeon says, "Yes, that's impressive", sipping on his latte, "...but have you tried doing it with the engine running?"

I'm with the mechanic stance here. A surgeon has an anaesthetist by his side to put the patient in a sort of controlled coma. So that "engine" is not running either. Moreover the surgeon has much more support from nurses and expensive tools. As well as much more time to plan the surgery.

[pcprogrammer]

Well then the surgeon could have replied that it would be that same as when he did it all through the exhaust pipe. Because that is how a lot of heart stuff gets done. Through the arteries from either the wrist or the groin.

So when the mechanic sees a way to revise the engine that way he should earn the same money.

[CatalinaWOW]

The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries.  The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards. 

[fourfathom]

The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries.  The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.

Perhaps the high rewards are in part to compensate for the consequences for failure?  No auto mechanic gets sued for many millions of dollars if they kill your car.  And I'm willing to take a chance on an unproven mechanic; the stakes aren't that high.  Not so for a surgeon.

[CatalinaWOW]

The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries.  The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.

Perhaps the high rewards are in part to compensate for the consequences for failure?  No auto mechanic gets sued for many millions of dollars if they kill your car.  And I'm willing to take a chance on an unproven mechanic; the stakes aren't that high.  Not so for a surgeon.

I will agree with all your points.  But then observe that I have never found a strong correlation between the quality of work by a mechanic and the pay received.  There is some, but the data scatters a lot.  I have far less evidence for surgeons, but assume that the same thing is true.  The little data I have says that it is.

[Ed.Kloonk]

The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries.  The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.

Perhaps the high rewards are in part to compensate for the consequences for failure?  No auto mechanic gets sued for many millions of dollars if they kill your car.  And I'm willing to take a chance on an unproven mechanic; the stakes aren't that high.  Not so for a surgeon.

I will agree with all your points.  But then observe that I have never found a strong correlation between the quality of work by a mechanic and the pay received.  There is some, but the data scatters a lot.  I have far less evidence for surgeons, but assume that the same thing is true.  The little data I have says that it is.

Except that the bad ones kill their patients.

[pcprogrammer]

Both type of bad actors will loose their jobs quickly one might hope

[Wallace Gasiewicz]

A doctor has a plumbing problem in his house and the relatives are coming over soon for  a dinner party.
He calls a plumber.
The plumber fixes the problem including clearing waste pipes in about two hours. The bill was $600.
While writing the check the doctor observes " I am a physician and have never made $600 in two hour ever in my career"
The plumber replies:
"I did mot make that much either when I was a doctor"

[BU508A]

[eti]

Android is an engineering joke.
Bluetooth is an engineering joke.

[coppice]

Android is an engineering joke.
Bluetooth is an engineering joke.

No. Bluetooth is a battlefield, where powerful interests ensure the selection of codecs is a steaming pile of rubble.

[eti]

Android is an engineering joke.
Bluetooth is an engineering joke.

No. Bluetooth is a battlefield, where powerful interests ensure the selection of codecs is a steaming pile of rubble.

There's a huge deal more wrong with Bluetooth than mere audio codecs. I don't know all the specifics, but I've heard Steve Gibson of GRC, bemoan it many a time, and it's along the lines of this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22904442

Just by chance, I happen to have noticed in the above linked discussion, yet another reason why Android is such a messy joke of an OS... read and you'll see for yourself.

[MrMobodies]

Joke: In July the UK government had a mid air breakup. (Where bits of the cabinet seemed to be breaking off one by one.)
Truss was on a different plane of her own at the time of the scandals so she still continues to fly.

Now there seems trouble ahead with the new coordinates ahead and I wonder whether;
Will she have the same fate or just crash in the ground or manager to make through the narrow window.


Joke: Manager says we are equipping each desk with something called a "smart assistant" that the employers have to work with and make the best use out and also link it to their phones.

What they didn't expect was that these "smart assistants" were going to micro manage everything they do basically telling them how to do their jobs.

Manager says, "whereas you all thick they don't call them smart without a reason."

[Infraviolet]

That smart assistant sounds very much like an evil concept known as a "jennifer unit", turning the human body in to a slave to algorithms because actual robotic bodies still aren't capable enough to follow orders like "pick up 2 boxes".

[NiHaoMike]

There's a huge deal more wrong with Bluetooth than mere audio codecs. I don't know all the specifics, but I've heard Steve Gibson of GRC, bemoan it many a time, and it's along the lines of this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22904442

A very big flaw is that they define the specs to just barely cover existing requirements at the times the specs are written (so they would be out of date when they get implemented), unlike some other standards like PCIe that look far ahead of existing requirements and start defining specs that seem so far into the future.

[Berni]

Yep bluetooth had a problem of lagging behind its use cases. Then to catch up they hastily tack on features that are obsolete by the time they are ready.

Tho to be fair it is easier to make a new PCIe spec, since all that the new versions tend to do is run the existing features at double the transfer speed. They even manage to simply name the versions in a sensible way. Unlike the recent USB naming conventions that are so bad they might as well fit in this "engineering jokes" thread.

[coppice]

Yep bluetooth had a problem of lagging behind its use cases.

Had? Bluetooth still has no option for high quality audio in both directions, which there is now a big demand for.

[BU508A]

A tribute to the most professional Excel user:

[BU508A]

For those which can understand German 

[BU508A]

"Someone told me my thinking is too one-dimensional. I can't imagine y."

[EPAIII]

Inaccurate color codes! Everyone knows that protons are red, electrons are yellow, and neutrons are gray.

A French aspect to nuclear physics:

[EPAIII]

You laugh, but here's a TRUE story.

I worked in a TV station some years ago, back when some programs and all news footage was on 16mm film. Whenever anything went wrong, it had to be written up and a common item during the news shows was "film lost loop" meaning that the film in the projector jumped out of the sprocket drive wheels that provided a buffering length of film (a loop) between the projection gate where the film's motion was intermittent and the sound head where it had to move smoothly. This usually resulted in smeared images and garbled sounds being aired.

After reading this a number of times, one of the front-office managers, a programming director sent a memo to the engineers demanding that "a spare loop of film be kept on hand during all news shows". So we obediently spliced together several loops of film and hung them at each of the projectors.

We refused to take them down when he demanded that we do so several days later. They remained in place for many weeks.

-Hey , you made the forms for using the pool?
-What pool?

Thats like one of the the old   wind the apprentice up   "make sure you bring a towel and swimming trunks tomorrow ,were working in the typing pool"

Or sending the new hire across the airport to the mech shop for a bucket of prop wash...

[BU508A]

Friends just sent me those.

I'm afraid the budgie jokes are hard to translate.





Translation: "If it is a "mirror" that merely reflects, why does it swap left and right but not top and bottom? Huh?! You believe your "science", I say: This guy is listening to us!"



 
NAWTS