Author Topic: engineering jokes  (Read 24326 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline schmitt trigger

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1695
  • Country: mx
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #50 on: December 14, 2018, 04:36:00 pm »
This is a very old one: but worth re-telling:

There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.


Another one:

A mathematician and an engineer find themselves together in a room, with an exceedingly beautiful woman on the other side. A genie appears and proclaims: "The woman will belong to either one of you who reaches her first. But there is one condition: your first movement consists of half the distance between you and the woman. The second movement, half of the first movement. The third movement, half of the second, and so on."
The mathematician starts crying. He knows that it will take him an infinite time to reach the woman. But the engineer is all smiles: "I work with 10% tolerances"
 

Online CatalinaWOW

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3591
  • Country: us
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #51 on: December 14, 2018, 06:32:16 pm »
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/

Snopes article bends over backwards falsifying this line of thought. 

It points out that that the US equipment was not literally built by British expats.  True enough.  But a huge majority of Americans at the time of railroad initiation were descendents of immigrants from the island kingdom, and the technical tradition and trades of the US were very heavily influenced by the same (note which system of units is still used here.  It isn't the French or German or Russian or any other).  So saying that US wagon standards came from England is probably not false.

In another example it brings up the lack of standardization in Southern railroads, but doesn't mention that of the three gauges used, one was the standard gauge discussed in the lineage, one was the British broad gauge (which was both an attempt to modernize for the conditions of the time and an attempt to create a proprietary, non compatible standard for commercial competitive reasons).  It seems likely that as Snope's says, there is a strong grain of truth in much of the story. 

The story does go off the deep end a bit when it ties the space shuttle to this, but I think a more balanced view would say this logic train is generally correct, if not traceably and literally true in every word.
 

Online jmelson

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1511
  • Country: us
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #52 on: December 14, 2018, 08:06:14 pm »
When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the main fuel tank. These are Solid Rocket Boosters or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass!!! Don't you just love engineering?
The SRB's have a diameter of 12.17 feet, (3.71m), so quite a bit wider than the train tracks.  That tunnel must be more than "slightly" wider than the track.

Jon
 
The following users thanked this post: NiHaoMike

Offline rrinker

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2030
  • Country: us
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #53 on: December 14, 2018, 09:23:27 pm »
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/

Snopes article bends over backwards falsifying this line of thought. 

It points out that that the US equipment was not literally built by British expats.  True enough.  But a huge majority of Americans at the time of railroad initiation were descendents of immigrants from the island kingdom, and the technical tradition and trades of the US were very heavily influenced by the same (note which system of units is still used here.  It isn't the French or German or Russian or any other).  So saying that US wagon standards came from England is probably not false.

In another example it brings up the lack of standardization in Southern railroads, but doesn't mention that of the three gauges used, one was the standard gauge discussed in the lineage, one was the British broad gauge (which was both an attempt to modernize for the conditions of the time and an attempt to create a proprietary, non compatible standard for commercial competitive reasons).  It seems likely that as Snope's says, there is a strong grain of truth in much of the story. 

The story does go off the deep end a bit when it ties the space shuttle to this, but I think a more balanced view would say this logic train is generally correct, if not traceably and literally true in every word.

 Also, many of the early locomotives on some of the first railroads in the US were actually built by British companies and shipped over on boats. One is part of a diveable wreck of the coast of New Jersey. My 'local' railroad, and the one I model, was initially backed by investors from England, and also the first locomotives used were shipped over, before various American builders became established.
 

Offline coppercone2

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3917
  • Country: us
  • $
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #54 on: December 14, 2018, 09:53:37 pm »
what if gordon freedman was a sales engineer instead of a theoretical physicist?
 

Offline schmitt trigger

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1695
  • Country: mx
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #55 on: December 14, 2018, 10:26:22 pm »
Another dumb engineering joke:

A new teacher is querying a group of new students about their names:

"My name is John Smith" says one.
"My name is Robert White" says another.
"My name is Mary O'Donnell" says a third.
Then another student: "my name is Milli Current Flow".
"WHAT?" replies the teacher.
"What you heard Milli Current Flow" she answers.
And the teacher replies back: "Your name is too long. I'm going to call you Milliamp" .

 

Offline coppercone2

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3917
  • Country: us
  • $
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #56 on: December 14, 2018, 10:48:44 pm »
here is like 400 minutes of engineering jokes
 

Offline palindrom

  • Contributor
  • Posts: 5
  • Country: pl
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #57 on: January 15, 2019, 12:57:53 pm »
Upgrading your Ethernet to cat.6 hardware is a real eye-opener.
 
The following users thanked this post: Berni, blueskull

Online BU508A

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1746
  • Country: de
  • Per aspera ad astra
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #58 on: April 03, 2019, 09:47:22 am »
An opinion  without 3.14 is an onion.

Just to make that clear.
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 

Offline coppercone2

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3917
  • Country: us
  • $
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #59 on: April 05, 2019, 07:22:50 am »
salary
 
The following users thanked this post: Berni, Brutte, Yansi, Lord of nothing

Offline TerraHertz

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3707
  • Country: au
  • Why shouldn't we question everything?
    • It's not really a Blog
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #60 on: April 06, 2019, 01:50:11 am »
I saved this file, to read after I finish all my current projects.


 :-DD
Collecting old scopes, logic analyzers, and unfinished projects. http://everist.org
 

Offline Canis Dirus Leidy

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 152
  • Country: ru
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #61 on: April 06, 2019, 09:20:39 am »
Trust me, I'm an engineer!
https://youtu.be/rp8hvyjZWHs
 
The following users thanked this post: bd139

Online tautech

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 18370
  • Country: nz
  • Taupaki Technologies Ltd. NZ Siglent Distributor
    • Taupaki Technologies Ltd.
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #62 on: April 06, 2019, 10:55:13 am »
Trust me, I'm an engineer!
https://youtu.be/rp8hvyjZWHs
:-DD
The crane toppling over @ 1.32 happened ~10 miles from me a few years back.
One on either side of a tidal creek lifting in tandem a 50m long foot bridge from the roadway bridge onto the new abutments but one crane pad gave way.  :palm:
Avid Rabid Hobbyist
 

Offline soldar

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2605
  • Country: es
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #63 on: April 06, 2019, 11:35:16 am »
I find the notion that railway standard gauge has come down since Roman times beyond silly and find it difficult to believe anyone would take it seriously.
All my posts are made with 100% recycled electrons and bare traces of grey matter.
 

Offline Lord of nothing

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1290
  • Country: at
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #64 on: April 09, 2019, 10:44:13 am »
Made in Japan, destroyed in Sulz im Wienerwald.
 

Offline ebastler

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3512
  • Country: de
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #65 on: April 10, 2019, 05:44:08 am »
Quess what that is:  :palm:

A magnetic shielding tube? I fail to see the joke there.  :-//
 

Offline Lord of nothing

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1290
  • Country: at
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #66 on: April 10, 2019, 09:26:47 am »
a Steel pipe for 3980,-€
Made in Japan, destroyed in Sulz im Wienerwald.
 

Offline ebastler

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 3512
  • Country: de
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #67 on: April 10, 2019, 09:51:27 am »
No, it‘s mu metal.
Feel free to make your own and start a competing business. ;-)
 

Offline soldar

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2605
  • Country: es
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #68 on: April 10, 2019, 10:23:36 am »
So it's not a mousetrap?
All my posts are made with 100% recycled electrons and bare traces of grey matter.
 

Offline JackJones

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 192
  • Country: fi
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #69 on: April 10, 2019, 10:36:33 am »
I'm much more interested about these to be honest:



https://aaronia.de/abschirmung/aaronia-baldachine/
 

Offline soldar

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2605
  • Country: es
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #70 on: April 10, 2019, 11:07:04 am »
I'm much more interested about these to be honest: https://aaronia.de/abschirmung/aaronia-baldachine/

That's the Pope's bed: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baldachin

(Or just a mosquito net?)
All my posts are made with 100% recycled electrons and bare traces of grey matter.
 

Online BU508A

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1746
  • Country: de
  • Per aspera ad astra
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #71 on: July 08, 2019, 09:04:41 am »
This is a nice one. Sorry, but some of the meme are more or less German-internally (sort of)

It all started with a broken door at the university in Mainz.

The sign is saying: Broken.  Technician has been informed.





And then the story starts ....     :-DD  >:D  :popcorn:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/de/sebastianfiebrig/techniker-ist-informiert

“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 
The following users thanked this post: bd139, SparkyFX

Offline Berni

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 2801
  • Country: si
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #72 on: July 08, 2019, 09:18:31 am »
Hah that is quite the story behind repairing a door. :-+

Understanding German does help with understanding some of the more local memes tho.
 

Online BU508A

  • Super Contributor
  • ***
  • Posts: 1746
  • Country: de
  • Per aspera ad astra
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #73 on: July 08, 2019, 09:36:58 am »
One of my favourites there is this one:



The guy is Walter Ulbricht, formerly leader of the DDR and the one who was responsible for building the wall in Berlin.

On 15th of June in 1961, shortly before the building of the wall starts, he stated in a press conference: "Niemand hat die Absicht, eine Mauer zu errichten."
Means: "Nobody has an intention to build a wall."

And, you surely guessed it, it becomes this meme.  ;D

(Nobody has the intention to inform a technician.)
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 

Offline tocsa120ls

  • Regular Contributor
  • *
  • Posts: 61
  • Country: hu
  • Electronic hobbyist living in Stuttgart
Re: engineering jokes
« Reply #74 on: July 08, 2019, 10:26:33 am »
A priest, a surgeon and an engineer are playing golf, when the groundskeeper asks them to play through a slower group. He tells them that those were the firefighters that saved the city last year but they all went blind in a freak explosion.
The priest says "oh how terrible, I will say a prayer for their well-being"
The surgeon says "that's just awful but I have a good buddy who's an ophthalmologist, let me get them an appointment"
The engineer looks in disbelief, then asks "Okay, but why don't they play at night then??"
-------
Short circuit - long fire
 


Share me

Digg  Facebook  SlashDot  Delicious  Technorati  Twitter  Google  Yahoo
Smf