I saw this on facebook today, quite racist but it made me laugh, share your own!I don't get it. Is the joke just "Arabs can't code for shit" or is there more to it?
(http://i47.tinypic.com/nl8jed.jpg)
Suppose it has something to do with an Arabic accent. Their's "b" and "p" are kind of close.Right. I was thinking maybe the upper case M in Main had something to do with the joke too, but then I realized that it was C# code, not Java.
A few days after the system was installed, the worker who removed the empty boxes was tired of the siren going off several times every hour so he put a $25 fan next to the conveyor belt just before the detectors, nicely blowing the empty boxes onto the floor...That's The Engineer.
Four friends go on holiday to South Africa - one English, one American, one French and one Chinese. While out trekking in the countryside they find some gold in the ground. The Frenchman, a geologist, realises that they have stumbled across a rich seam, suitable for a new mine.(http://i.imgur.com/Zvet0.gif)
The American happens to be a billionaire, so he buys the land with an arrangement that they split the profits four ways - The Englishman is an engineer, so is put in charge of extraction. The Chinese man is involved in import and export so is put in charge of supplies. The Frenchman is a manager, so is put in charge with overseeing the whole operation.
A year later the American returns to see how his investment is going. First he goes to the main office to see how the Frenchman is doing.
"Well," he says, "we're getting some gold out, but there seem to be some problems with the extraction. You'd better go down and see."
So the American walks down to the mine, meets the Englishman emerging from the entrance and asks him how things are going.
"Well" he says, "my boys are fine, but the Chinese guy just isn't pulling his weight. Go down there and you'll see what I mean."
So he walks down into the mine. After a couple of hundred yards it's almost pitch black down there and he can't see or hear anyone. All of a sudden the Chinese guy jumps out from behind a pillar and shouts "Supplies!" :D
My all time favourite quicky has to be the story about how nasa spent tens of thousands of dollars developing a pen that would work in zero gravity for their space program... The Russians, with a tighter budget decided to use a pencil
My all time favourite quicky has to be the story about how nasa spent tens of thousands of dollars developing a pen that would work in zero gravity for their space program... The Russians, with a tighter budget decided to use a pencilWhen your life dont matter a good solution. I gues you never had some Pencil dust in your Eyes, Lung,...? :clap:
It's not well known, but after communism fell and there was more air travel between the eastern bloc countries and the west, commercial pilots noticed that the aircraft started to behave more erratically, especially when the autopilot was engaged. As reports piled up it was found that the effect correlated with the number of polish nationals on board. Further investigation ruled out malicious intent and no-one had any ideas. One day, an EE heard about the problem and instantly figured it out; to be stable, the poles have to be on the left side of the plane.
-----------------
Edison was famous for saying that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.
Tesla, who once worked for Edison, was reported to have said that if Edison had learned some math, he could have avoided 90% of the perspiration.
(https://img.pr0gramm.com/2018/12/11/09d8c824e4e596ba.jpg)this is really brilliant actually
;D
this is really brilliant actually
Optimist: The glass is half full.
Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
Engineer: The glass is too big.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/ (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/)
The commuter trains in my home city run on 3ft 6in gauge rails, but the interior width is the same as those that run on "Standard gauge".
Are the horses in your homecity smaller[emoji41]
Trains in The Netherlands run on 1500V DC.
They probably need some rather giant rotary converters to convert 50Hz to 16.7Hz in order to power these lines.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/ (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/)
When we see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two booster rockets attached to the side of the main fuel tank. These are Solid Rocket Boosters or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs might have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory had to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track is about as wide as two horses' behinds. So, the major design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass!!! Don't you just love engineering?The SRB's have a diameter of 12.17 feet, (3.71m), so quite a bit wider than the train tracks. That tunnel must be more than "slightly" wider than the track.
https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/ (https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/horses-pass/)
Snopes article bends over backwards falsifying this line of thought.
It points out that that the US equipment was not literally built by British expats. True enough. But a huge majority of Americans at the time of railroad initiation were descendents of immigrants from the island kingdom, and the technical tradition and trades of the US were very heavily influenced by the same (note which system of units is still used here. It isn't the French or German or Russian or any other). So saying that US wagon standards came from England is probably not false.
In another example it brings up the lack of standardization in Southern railroads, but doesn't mention that of the three gauges used, one was the standard gauge discussed in the lineage, one was the British broad gauge (which was both an attempt to modernize for the conditions of the time and an attempt to create a proprietary, non compatible standard for commercial competitive reasons). It seems likely that as Snope's says, there is a strong grain of truth in much of the story.
The story does go off the deep end a bit when it ties the space shuttle to this, but I think a more balanced view would say this logic train is generally correct, if not traceably and literally true in every word.
Trust me, I'm an engineer!:-DD
https://youtu.be/rp8hvyjZWHs
Quess what that is: :palm:
I'm much more interested about these to be honest: https://aaronia.de/abschirmung/aaronia-baldachine/
I'm not sure this last one is really a joke though for some. :-DD
Who among us isn't wallowing in the detritus of stalled projects that we refuse to get rid of because one day "we'll get around to it" or "pick it up again"?
Q: What is she looking for?
A: She's looking for screw.
This literally happened today and drew quite some attention.
I'll bet everyone has heard this one or something like it:Indeed I love the "consultant vs the sheep shepherd"
Managers vs Engineers
I kid you not. This was a hotel in the town I lived in for 21 years. I took the shots myself. You probably are a redneck if you see nothing odd about eating here:
You could be a redneck, or maybe just an engineer. Practical folks who don't see the point in wasting money to fix something that doesn't matter that much.
You could be a redneck, or maybe just an engineer. Practical folks who don't see the point in wasting money to fix something that doesn't matter that much. Now if a meter was off by 3% that would be different.What if I am a perfectionist redneck engineer/physicist?
(I think the US has the dibs on this too with the Thresher)Well, it gets a LOT more complicated. Look up the Russian sub K-129. It is a VERY scary story.
You could be a redneck, or maybe just an engineer. Practical folks who don't see the point in wasting money to fix something that doesn't matter that much.
I wonder if Boeing's engineers thought the same with the 737 MAX's MCAS?
(Cynical joke ::) )
If there is a problem our semi-lean sigma hyper-agile III management method will catch it.
String Theory
From Tom Razov:
A QA engineer walks into a bar. Orders a beer. Orders 0 beers. Orders 99999999999 beers. Orders a lizard. Orders -1 beers. Orders a ueicbksjdhd. First real customer walks in and asks where the bathroom is. The bar bursts into flames, killing everyone.
From an article about network security analysis of an internet connected pet feeder device:The "S" in "HTTP" stands for Security. Guess why "HTTPS" was invented. Should we invent "IoTS"? :)
The 'S' in 'IoT' stands for Security.
From an article about network security analysis of an internet connected pet feeder device:
The 'S' in 'IoT' stands for Security.
Ok, this is lame... but the majority of MY jokes would otherwise be banned here!....
Irishman on a building site. Asked by his boss to measure the height of a long pole leaning
up against a wall. Johno says to Paddy... "Lay it down on the ground, then measure it!!"...
Paddy says... "Don't be stupid!, he wants the height not the width!!" :palm:
Then 'Paddy' went to his boss, complaining about the wheelbarrow squeaking. Told the boss....
"When I wheel it, it goes... Squeak...........Squeak.............Squeak............."
The boss told him he was Sacked!! When he asked why, the boss told him....
"When 'I' wheel it, it goes... Squeak,Squeak,Squeak,Squeak" :scared:
HEY, the Irish aren't ALL silly !!!... after all, it was an Irishman who
invented the Ejector Seat for a Helicopter !!
(Sorry... :palm:)
If you need to explain active power, reactive power and apparent power to somebody which is not familiar with EE then I recommend to have a beer.That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
;D :-+
(https://www.setra.com/hubfs/Blog_Pictures/Energy_Mgmt/How%20is%20apparent%20power%20like%20a%20pint%20of%20beer.png)
That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
So you think additional beer will straighten things? I thought it worked the other way around.That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
If you're after such details then there isn't enough beer involved. ;D
So you think additional beer will straighten things? I thought it worked the other way around.That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
If you're after such details then there isn't enough beer involved. ;D
That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.I tried that, but the beer fell out.
That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.I tried that, but the beer fell out.
Could it be the beer has an imaginary component? This seems too complex for me.I always considered the head on a beer an imaginary component.
(Attachment Link)
"So, I understand correctly that you spent 4,000 bucks on the interconnect cable because you “hear the difference”, but you don't hear me calling you from the kitchen??"
OOF(Attachment Link)
"So, I understand correctly that you spent 4,000 bucks on the interconnect cable because you “hear the difference”, but you don't hear me calling you from the kitchen??"
At least she knows her place.
Finally, I've found the square root:
i've built a new jet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrsaHCXvJAA (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrsaHCXvJAA)
i've built a new jet::-DD
A police officer stops a car. Behind the steering wheel sits Heisenberg.
Officer: "Sir, do you know how fast you were driving?"
Heisenberg: "No, but I do know exactly where I am."
Pffff, wrong dimension. The normal vector should be parallel to that time arrow thingy. That neatly solves the orthogonality and beer existence problem in one go. *burp*That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.I tried that, but the beer fell out.
I have a small simple joke:
A manager walks into a firm and says to everyone, "We're going to be needing new firmware in this office so therefore you're all FIRED!"
Took me a while, but I contacted some of my crosstime alternatives. They got frigging angry, me talking about beer. Most of them have to drink kilju (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kilju), since there is no more beer there due to the nuclear fallout. Kilju being made of water, sugar, and yeast (they say they use a small dead critter instead), has no head.Pffff, wrong dimension. The normal vector should be parallel to that time arrow thingy. That neatly solves the orthogonality and beer existence problem in one go. *burp*That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.I tried that, but the beer fell out.
What goes "Pieces of Seven"?
A Parroty error, of course.
I'll get my coat
(https://i.imgur.com/U4qxO7S.jpg)
Classic error. In a situation where new rules are made up that don't obey existing laws of physics how can you assume classic rules of physics apply? When going Warp whatever do you assume that the mass of the Enterprise is some factor greater than infinity?I agree. To the best of my memory the series consistently required continuous power to sustain warp drive, but the ships acted in a realistic Newtonian way at sub light speeds.
Who knows what rules apply to Warp space and Warp drive. Whatever the current plot line requires.
Sobered up yet?
Sobered up yet?
Sobered up yet?
Darmok at Tanagra.
Temba, his arms wide.
Sobered up yet?
Darmok at Tanagra.
Temba, his arms wide.
“Darmok and Jalad on the ocean.”
“Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.”
/me is shaking his universal translator.
"Dammit!"
“Temba, his arms open.”
"Temba! My Ass!!"
;D
Star Trek ?Sobered up yet?
Darmok at Tanagra.
Temba, his arms wide.
Star Trek ?Sobered up yet?
Darmok at Tanagra.
Temba, his arms wide.
Even worse than Vogon poetry.unitedatoms real name is Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. She's the worst!
Are you translating some Chinese news headlines using Google Translate ?
Nah, stated as no gender however whatever it is it's done a fine job of messing up the thread and annoying a few of us. |OEven worse than Vogon poetry.unitedatoms real name is Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. She's the worst!
Nah, stated as no gender however whatever it is it's done a fine job of messing up the thread and annoying a few of us. |OEven worse than Vogon poetry.unitedatoms real name is Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex. She's the worst!
Vogon poetry is hitch hikers to the galaxy. It's an innocuous sounding torture technique.Everyone who has heard (or read) The Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy remembers the Vogon's poetry? Why? They are a bunch of losers who could only manage to produce the third worst poetry in the universe. Why don't people remember the name of the truly exceptional? That's Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Sussex, author of the very worst poetry in the entire universe.
Vogon poetry is hitch hikers to the galaxy. It's an innocuous sounding torture technique.My bad if I wrote wrong... sorry.. not first language.. :-+
Sincerely - the hitch hikers guide to the galaxy :-DD
ua, can you do engineering jokes you can?
Are you
trying
to get this
thread locked?
Are you
trying
to get this
thread locked?
No, he successfully got himself banned, jokes after a while stop being funny!
Dude! That butane bottle in your workshop is leaking, and affecting you!
Take it outside, and go see a doc; your health is in danger.
(No, I'm not kidding.)
That is what happens when you get high on solder fumes.
Those are a 3rd or 4th round of rubbish that he posted, pages worth from before were deleted. A joke stops being funny when you overdo it. Humor is an unexpected thing, when it becomes so damn predictable its not humor anymore.
That second picture is completely consistent with control theory. In controls language men are observable and controllable (One switch, one indicator, indicator is consistent with switch). Women are neither observable or controllable. (Not all controls have indicators. Indicators only indicate binary states, though controls are analog, and there are more controls than there are indicators.)
Look at Elizabeth Holmes she has two voices a high and a low one and can influence others with her voice so well to get her way.
I saw that photo probably 20 years ago for the first time (just give me time to come to terms with that). I doubt there is any better version to be found.
Page21: The charger may not be used on humans or animals.
Here's one I found amusing.
Voltcraft Plus Conrad charger manager 2020 manual:QuotePage21: The charger may not be used on humans or animals.
How is that even possible?
(https://i.imgur.com/JVabbWH.jpg)
To use that on a human or an animal.
PM sent.I fear PM might stand for Privates Mauling in this case...
Voltcraft Plus Conrad charger manager 2020 manual:QuotePage21: The charger may not be used on humans or animals.
How is that even possible?
The charger may not be used on humans or animals, that won't stop BigClive trying it out on sausage rolls or babybell cheese.
The charger may not be used on humans or animals, that won't stop BigClive trying it out on sausage rolls or babybell cheese.
Even the most moist hot dog wiener isn't likely to do much at battery charging voltage. :)
Touché, though sir, touché... :)
Unless they also made chargers for the "B Battery" that the oldschool vacuum tube radios used to use. They existed in 90V and 120V variants. Now that could cook a hotdog
Can't see how that works, maybe you need a 4th dimension.You watch too much Dr Who :)
With the four people from above, like this:
(https://www.mathespass.at/formeln/bilder/tetraeder2.jpg)
So one of them would need to hover above the others?Or put in a pit below the other three :)
With the four people from above, like this:
(https://www.mathespass.at/formeln/bilder/tetraeder2.jpg)
Geometric distancing
Meanwhile, social distancing in Germany:Finally, a distancing guide for non-Euclidean space! R'lyeh also matters!
The day, Pythagoras has died
Please Explain! ...this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW2LvQUcwqc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW2LvQUcwqc)
Please Explain! ...this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW2LvQUcwqc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aW2LvQUcwqc)
meat free burger.Fat free burgers. You only pay for the meat.
Four friends go on holiday to South Africa - one English, one American, one French and one Chinese. While out trekking in the countryside they find some gold in the ground. The Frenchman, a geologist, realises that they have stumbled across a rich seam, suitable for a new mine.
The American happens to be a billionaire, so he buys the land with an arrangement that they split the profits four ways - The Englishman is an engineer, so is put in charge of extraction. The Chinese man is involved in import and export so is put in charge of supplies. The Frenchman is a manager, so is put in charge with overseeing the whole operation.
A year later the American returns to see how his investment is going. First he goes to the main office to see how the Frenchman is doing.
"Well," he says, "we're getting some gold out, but there seem to be some problems with the extraction. You'd better go down and see."
So the American walks down to the mine, meets the Englishman emerging from the entrance and asks him how things are going.
"Well" he says, "my boys are fine, but the Chinese guy just isn't pulling his weight. Go down there and you'll see what I mean."
So he walks down into the mine. After a couple of hundred yards it's almost pitch black down there and he can't see or hear anyone. All of a sudden the Chinese guy jumps out from behind a pillar and shouts "Supplies!" :D
I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday.
I think he must be plotting something.
What did the triangle say to the circle?
"You're pointless!"
A talking sheepdog rounds up all the sheep into the pen for his farmer.
He comes back and says: "Okay, Chief - all 40 sheep accounted for."
The farmer says: "But I've counted them and I've only got 36!"
The sheepdog replies: "I know, but I rounded them up."
Why did the student get upset when her teacher called her average?
It was a mean thing to say.
What do you get if you divide the circumreference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
Pumpkin Pi.
Why do atheists have trouble with exponents?
They don't believe in higher powers!
Also, this is definitely worth a listen: https://youtu.be/f_iTG1CsQBsI'd never heard of him before. Good find.
I'd never heard of him before. Good find.
It doesn't take a couple of years. A few minutes watching a fitter pushing wiring looms into place with their steel toes boot is usually enough.I'd never heard of him before. Good find.
Well, I can't take the credit for this one, unfortunately. One of my colleagues at Rolls-Royce sent this over to me a few years ago, but I found it absolutely hilarious and had to share it with you folks.
We used to have an inside joke at RR: Before you work in the aerospace industry, you might have a phobia of flying. But give it a couple of years and that fear will be completely justified.
It doesn't take a couple of years. A few minutes watching a fitter pushing wiring looms into place with their steel toes boot is usually enough.I'd never heard of him before. Good find.
Well, I can't take the credit for this one, unfortunately. One of my colleagues at Rolls-Royce sent this over to me a few years ago, but I found it absolutely hilarious and had to share it with you folks.
We used to have an inside joke at RR: Before you work in the aerospace industry, you might have a phobia of flying. But give it a couple of years and that fear will be completely justified.
The ATR boxes with lever handles can put ENORMOUS pressure on the connectors on the back. Its almost like those handles are designed to mate those connectors, whether those connectors are the correct types or not.It doesn't take a couple of years. A few minutes watching a fitter pushing wiring looms into place with their steel toes boot is usually enough.I'd never heard of him before. Good find.
Well, I can't take the credit for this one, unfortunately. One of my colleagues at Rolls-Royce sent this over to me a few years ago, but I found it absolutely hilarious and had to share it with you folks.
We used to have an inside joke at RR: Before you work in the aerospace industry, you might have a phobia of flying. But give it a couple of years and that fear will be completely justified.
Oh, I see you work in the industry too. My favourite one is watching someone trying to force two MIL-SPEC connectors of the same shell size, but different pin arrangements, together by any forcible means necessary.
But you're right - I think we said years in an attempt to be somewhat optimistic. In reality, it is as you say. :-DD
I had the military as customers a while ago. They used to tell us that we should design our products for them with the least number of connectors. In the field the equipment would be operated by a ham-handed, fat-fingered sergeant, not by a trained technician.
I had the military as customers a while ago. They used to tell us that we should design our products for them with the least number of connectors. In the field the equipment would be operated by a ham-handed, fat-fingered sergeant, not by a trained technician.They say that, but then seem delighted when you present them with a design where the box has a block of six 106 way connectors on the back, mating with the rest of the system.
Worked as a PC technician years ago, The force required for mating D connectors backwards (VGA in this case) is quite low, an 80 years old granny could and did just that..That depends on the quality of the connectors. Good D types are hard to mis-mate, but some are so poorly toleranced you can plug them in one pin space to each side, or in reverse.
Tho Dsub connectors do sometimes seam to be affected by the famous USB quantum superposition where you need to turn a USB plug around 3 times before its oriented correctly to fit. Brand new USB sockets tend to particularly encourage the occurrence of such a superposition.
-Hey , you made the forms for using the pool?Thats like one of the the old wind the apprentice up "make sure you bring a towel and swimming trunks tomorrow ,were working in the typing pool"
-What pool?
Or sending the new hire across the airport to the mech shop for a bucket of prop wash...Quote-Hey , you made the forms for using the pool?Thats like one of the the old wind the apprentice up "make sure you bring a towel and swimming trunks tomorrow ,were working in the typing pool"
-What pool?
Could you please hand me the 12mm flat wrench for left-hand threads?
Could you please hand me the 12mm flat wrench for left-hand threads?
That one right there next to the anvil clock?
I’ve got an engineering joke:
Tesla.
$ man -k drama
drama: nothing appropriate.
Engineers are always honest in matters of technology and human relationships.
Very useful, but little known Git command:
git-dramatize-upstream (https://git-man-page-generator.lokaltog.net/#ZHJhbWF0aXplJCR1cHN0cmVhbQ==) - Negligently dramatizes modified upstream upstreams using local origins, while clutterring relevant hooks to translate the given upstreams.
In Case of Fire:
git commit
git push
git blame
git outa the building
Ehh?Behold the power of Markov chains! (https://git-man-page-generator.lokaltog.net/#dGF1bnQkJG1haWxpbmcgbGlzdA==)Code: [Select]$ man -k drama
drama: nothing appropriate.
git-taunt-mailing-list - incorrectly taunts non-performed downstream mailing lists outside other reset stash entries, modifies setups, etc.A programmer, a mechanical engineer and an electronics engineer are in a car driving through the mountains.
The get to the top of a pass, and as the car travels back down the steep hill, the brakes keep locking up the wheels, making the car skid and it becomes increasingly uncontrollable: terrified, they just manage to pull over into an a runaway truck ramp.
Shocked, the three jump out to analyse the situation.
The mechanical engineer says "Looks like the brake calipers are in need of some adjustment".
The EE says "Nah, it's an anti-lock braking system sensor that's failed".
The programmer says, "No. We just got unlucky. Let's drive up to the top of the hill and try again."
An engineer at a startup calls the CEO 'Holmes'. The CEO is thinking Sherlock, I'm like Sherlock Holmes, I'm so smart I can figure out engineering without even having an engineering degree. The engineer was thinking Elizabeth.
An engineer at a startup calls the CEO 'Holmes'. The CEO is thinking Sherlock, I'm like Sherlock Holmes, I'm so smart I can figure out engineering without even having an engineering degree. The engineer was thinking Elizabeth.
Not John, the great actor?
:)
(you know what he did to everything he touched?)
An engineer, explained that, although he'd probably prefer never to die, if he does, he wants it to be like his late grandfather. Who died, entirely peacefully, while he slept.
Not like dying, in complete and absolute terror, like the final passengers his grandfather was driving.
The first thing I think off when I witness a fatal car crash: "Hey, that's peaceful!" ;)
An engineer at a startup calls the CEO 'Holmes'. The CEO is thinking Sherlock, I'm like Sherlock Holmes, I'm so smart I can figure out engineering without even having an engineering degree. The engineer was thinking Elizabeth.
Not John, the great actor?
:)
(you know what he did to everything he touched?)
An engineer at a startup calls the CEO 'Holmes'. The CEO is thinking Sherlock, I'm like Sherlock Holmes, I'm so smart I can figure out engineering without even having an engineering degree. The engineer was thinking Elizabeth.
Not John, the great actor?
:)
(you know what he did to everything he touched?)
Well, I hear he was able to stretch things quite a bit, and afterwards they were forever loose. He was able to do things a hedgehog was unable to do as well.
His son also took up the same career path, and is very much the splitting image of his father in all respects.
(https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/engineering-jokes/?action=dlattach;attach=1397090;image)
most actors only have to change characters. he has to change species !(https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/engineering-jokes/?action=dlattach;attach=1397090;image)
He's a good actor. One of the few antagonists I enjoy to watch in any show that I do watch.
(https://img.ifunny.co/images/623fff292932d7df74da14c5d39f762b1e7b8308bdc13ecb97118cd84866537d_1.jpg)
:palm: :-DD
Possibly, the original source of the joke, from quite a long time ago, and the exact way it is suppose to be said, is (many links to it, not sure exactly where I first heard it, so no links supplied):I've seen that joke phrased with a pilot, bus driver, train driver, and other operators of potentially lethal equipment. Based on the historical sequence of these professions, my guess is train driver was the original.
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
I've seen that joke phrased with a pilot, bus driver, train driver, and other operators of potentially lethal equipment. Based on the historical sequence of these professions, my guess is train driver was the original.
There are references in literature back to the renaissance, in the works of Shakespeare and others, where a bug is something that ruins or fouls up things. Perhaps it came from things like cookery, since I guess a bug was always the last thing most people wanted to find in their food.I've seen that joke phrased with a pilot, bus driver, train driver, and other operators of potentially lethal equipment. Based on the historical sequence of these professions, my guess is train driver was the original.
I bet a lot of jokes have complicated and very long histories, like that. So it makes lots of sense. Even with words, the experts seem to need lots of time, to try and determine when a word was first used, and I don't think they can be really sure, either.
E.g. The term 'Computer bug', as in programming bug. Earlier was actual living 'bugs' between relay contacts, during the second world war. But, apparently the term 'bug' was used a long time before then (at least about 10 years, if not much, much longer).
There are references in literature back to the renaissance, in the works of Shakespeare and others, where a bug is something that ruins or fouls up things. Perhaps it came from things like cookery, since I guess a bug was always the last thing most people wanted to find in their food.
evil spirit or hobgoblinwhich does sort of sound a bit like a computer programming bug, conceptually speaking.
uBeam.
Nikola Motors.
Theranos.
Here's a simple one with a little riddle:2022 ! :P
What is it if you are in Australia and you have no broadband now?
Here's a simple one with a little riddle:
What is it if you are in Australia and you have no broadband now?
Major internet, TV and phone service providers in Tasmania are reporting major outages across the entire state due to an 'unknown incident'.
By SAM MCPHEE FOR DAILY MAIL AUSTRALIA
PUBLISHED: 03:21, 1 March 2022 | UPDATED: 04:40, 1 March 2022
TasNetworks, NBN Australia, Telstra, Optus, TPG and Aussie Broadband reported major statewide internet outages were underway since about 1pm on Tuesday. Consumer action group Digital Tasmania tweeted: 'Around 1pm an outage affected both Telstra fibre cables connecting #Tasmania to mainland Australia resulting in near total loss of all data services in Tas inc Internet providers, other mobile companies and some TV channels.'
What is happening with telecommunications in flood-hit regions of Queensland and NSW
Written by Chris Duckett, APAC Editor
on March 4, 2022 | Topic: Networking
NBN
On Friday, the company responsible for the National Broadband Network said it has seen the total number of premises offline rise to 74,000 in northern NSW, while southeast Queensland was trending downward with 33,200 services offline. Site inaccessibility and lack of power means those in flood-affected areas are without connectivity even if they are dry.
(Attachment Link)
True, but the stereotype alluded to is funny, because it is so absurd.(Attachment Link)[That] is sexist
Two Finns walk in Helsinki one winter morning. One of them steps on an icy patch , slips and falls. He get sup , dusts himself off and says. "It's slippery here". The other one just stares back but doesn't say anything.True, but the stereotype alluded to is funny, because it is so absurd.(Attachment Link)[That] is sexist
Consider the satwcomic.com (https://satwcomic.com/) stereotypes of Nordics (and other countries around the world). The Finland is funny, because it's so absurd. See e.g. New Year New Adventure (https://satwcomic.com/new-year-new-adventure), or Traveling Light the Finnish Way (https://satwcomic.com/traveling-light-the-finnish-way). There is just enough truth in there to recognize what it is about, but it is taken to an extreme caricature, and therefore funny.
It wasn’t the taste. Plenty of hot dogs taste bad. But Dibbler had now actually managed to produce sausages that didn’t taste of anything. It was weird. No matter how much mustard, ketchup and pickle people put on them, they still didn’t taste of anything. Not even the midnight dogs they sell to drunks in Helsinki can quite manage that.
In the early nineties, the "sausages" sold from small carts at night in Helsinki were an engineering marvel: drunk people were attracted by their smell, even though it was decidedly horrible to sober people. The after-taste the next morning was bad enough to get one to hurl.bahahaaa. CMOT dibbler...
In a footnote to Soul Music in 1994, Terry Pratchett wrote:QuoteIt wasn’t the taste. Plenty of hot dogs taste bad. But Dibbler had now actually managed to produce sausages that didn’t taste of anything. It was weird. No matter how much mustard, ketchup and pickle people put on them, they still didn’t taste of anything. Not even the midnight dogs they sell to drunks in Helsinki can quite manage that.
I see, you want him to make you longer willy so you can pee closer to the urinal without making to much of a mess.
I like that one. I find many of them at a distance and prefer to go to toilet for that.
The graphics in that reminds me a little of the bathrooms in an old game called Deus Ex.
You're gonna need a lot of spackle there, Ed.
In the early nineties, the "sausages" sold from small carts at night in Helsinki were an engineering marvel: drunk people were attracted by their smell, even though it was decidedly horrible to sober people. The after-taste the next morning was bad enough to get one to hurl.
In a footnote to Soul Music in 1994, Terry Pratchett wrote:QuoteIt wasn’t the taste. Plenty of hot dogs taste bad. But Dibbler had now actually managed to produce sausages that didn’t taste of anything. It was weird. No matter how much mustard, ketchup and pickle people put on them, they still didn’t taste of anything. Not even the midnight dogs they sell to drunks in Helsinki can quite manage that.
"Are you Finnish?"
I've liked this joke since I first saw it in the 1970's. I think it was Signetics started it all.The famous 3 pin 4k WOM data sheet?
The famous 3 pin 4k WOM data sheet?Even better, 2 pin infinite capacity WOMs are readily available. They're really useful to stop data bouncing off the ends of wires and colliding with new data that's being transmitted.
WOM technology is based on monodes, which are chained together to form a collander brigade. I wrote about them in 73 magazine long ago, but it appears only the first page of the article survives today.archive.org does have a copy (https://archive.org/details/73-magazine-1981-12/page/n131/mode/2up) (PDF with scanned pages; this is on pages 130, 132, 134, and 135).
My entry to the original Signetics contest featured "surreptitious entry of data", which was timely at the time.Interesting. So you got surreptitious into a data sheet before there was any silicon designed for cryptography, and now there is lots of cryptographic silicon you never see that word in a modern data sheet.
From April 1991 Radio Electronics. What made if funny for me when I saw it in 1991 was that I didn't immediately see the first page of the article. I saw the index showing the article "POOR MAN'S LASER PRINTER. Build your own and save big bucks!" and I flipped right to page 17. I had been had.Reminds me of the "how blondes print a Word document" joke.
Could you please hand me the 12mm flat wrench for left-hand threads?
That one right there next to the anvil clock?
No no its right next to the pliers for pulling out holes.
Could you please hand me the 12mm flat wrench for left-hand threads?
That one right there next to the anvil clock?
No no its right next to the pliers for pulling out holes.
Close to the machine to cut fluorescent tubular lamps right?
That was the joke I made to a new guy in a company I worked. Gone to change a fluorescent lamp but picked up the wrong size on purpose and asked him to go back to the warehouse guy to get the fluorescent tubular lamp cutter to fit the right size in the armature.
Probably old like hell, since I'm totally sure it wasn't my own idea and someone done one similar way before me.
“Don't forget the batteries.”50 years ago that was the wrist watch TV joke.
[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9edtHJMaws0[/url]
This is an unwieldy thread so far, so my apologies if this has been posted before. It is one of the funniest satires I have seen. Code brackets to prevent autoplay.Code: [Select][url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9edtHJMaws0[/url]
Big Clive did a video on one of those most deadly projects on the internet.That was about a project that anyone can do. You can't easily replicate Photo-watever stuff.
https://odysee.com/@bigclivedotcom:0d/the-most-deadly-project-on-the-internet:0
Apparently it is about the dangers of making the electrodes cute to you but it never got anywhere near PhotonicInduction despite all the experiments he tried.
Maybe it doesn't like him and tries to stay away.
soon it will be exactly the same thing in actual russian federation :-DDand in the failed american empire too :-DD
early days of cell phones.
Larry Ellison ,Bill Gates and Steve Jobs are in a meeting.
-Ring-Ring-.
Ellison say : excuse me , i have a call and starts talking to his watch while the other two sit silently. When done, Ellison says : that's the latest from ou hardware team : a cellphone in a watch.
The meeting goes on. -Ring- . Gates excuses himself taps his ear and starts talking. Afterwards he explains microsoft has been working on an earpiece cellphone receiver with the transmitter built in to the filling of a tooth.
Back too the meeting.
Jobs blows a fart. The others look startled. Job says , excuse me gentlemen, i have an incoming fax....
BTW, those Tesla cars have DC motors. ;D
BTW, those Tesla cars have DC motors. ;D
working in a waferfab you deal with lots of chemicals. silicontetrachloride , isopropanol....
The new operators were easily fooled. You'd send them to the warehouse for a bottle of elektaminol.
Flemish translation : he licks my ass ...
That, or a pair of scissors to cut the wafers , or a tank of vacuum ..
working in a waferfab you deal with lots of chemicals. silicontetrachloride , isopropanol....
The new operators were easily fooled. You'd send them to the warehouse for a bottle of elektaminol.
Flemish translation : he licks my ass ...
That, or a pair of scissors to cut the wafers , or a tank of vacuum ..
^That reminds me of another related mechanics joke.
A world-class heart surgeon is waiting in the lobby of a Mercedes dealership to pick up his new car. The lead mechanic spots him and asks him, "Hey, can I ask you a question?"
Somewhat surprised, the surgeon agrees. "So, I've just swapped the cylinder head in that AMG over there. I can take valves out, change the timing belt and flush the fluids, and do it faster than the warranty card says. So how come I get paid a pittance and you get the big bucks, when you and I do pretty much the same thing?"
The surgeon says, "Yes, that's impressive", sipping on his latte, "...but have you tried doing it with the engine running?"
The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries. The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.
The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries. The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.
Perhaps the high rewards are in part to compensate for the consequences for failure? No auto mechanic gets sued for many millions of dollars if they kill your car. And I'm willing to take a chance on an unproven mechanic; the stakes aren't that high. Not so for a surgeon.
The surgeons who pioneered partial stoppage of the heart for surgery and doing it through arteries and veins certainly do deserve high salaries. The hundreds or thousands who copy those inventions are just mechanics and may not deserve the same rewards.
Perhaps the high rewards are in part to compensate for the consequences for failure? No auto mechanic gets sued for many millions of dollars if they kill your car. And I'm willing to take a chance on an unproven mechanic; the stakes aren't that high. Not so for a surgeon.
I will agree with all your points. But then observe that I have never found a strong correlation between the quality of work by a mechanic and the pay received. There is some, but the data scatters a lot. I have far less evidence for surgeons, but assume that the same thing is true. The little data I have says that it is.
Android is an engineering joke.No. Bluetooth is a battlefield, where powerful interests ensure the selection of codecs is a steaming pile of rubble.
Bluetooth is an engineering joke.
Android is an engineering joke.No. Bluetooth is a battlefield, where powerful interests ensure the selection of codecs is a steaming pile of rubble.
Bluetooth is an engineering joke.
There's a huge deal more wrong with Bluetooth than mere audio codecs. I don't know all the specifics, but I've heard Steve Gibson of GRC, bemoan it many a time, and it's along the lines of this: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22904442A very big flaw is that they define the specs to just barely cover existing requirements at the times the specs are written (so they would be out of date when they get implemented), unlike some other standards like PCIe that look far ahead of existing requirements and start defining specs that seem so far into the future.
Yep bluetooth had a problem of lagging behind its use cases.Had? Bluetooth still has no option for high quality audio in both directions, which there is now a big demand for.
A French aspect to nuclear physics:
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/81/fe/f5/81fef55c3d61d85c56f46e5b7e381021.jpg)
Or sending the new hire across the airport to the mech shop for a bucket of prop wash...Quote-Hey , you made the forms for using the pool?Thats like one of the the old wind the apprentice up "make sure you bring a towel and swimming trunks tomorrow ,were working in the typing pool"
-What pool?
I heard this joke in 1983 :-DD
Translation: "If it is a "mirror" that merely reflects, why does it swap left and right but not top and bottom? Huh?! You believe your "science", I say: This guy is listening to us!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mXh6ERAK4A (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mXh6ERAK4A)
A pointless chart:
And some will verify the percentages add up to 100.
A pointless chart:
Well, it has to. If it didn't there would be a fraction, and it wouldn't be pointless.A pointless chart:
And some will verify the percentages add up to 100.
A pointless chart:
More JPEG compression please.
Translation: "If it is a "mirror" that merely reflects, why does it swap left and right but not top and bottom? Huh?! You believe your "science", I say: This guy is listening to us!"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mXh6ERAK4A (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mXh6ERAK4A)
I'm starting with the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
The Pointless Pie Chart commits another sin against good graphing that nobody has mentioned, it has a 3D effect to it. So, as seemingly approved of by M$ given the options they make so prominent in the office packages, you can brainwash your business meetings with slideshows of charts that don't even measure in screen area or angle as the data requires they ought.If its not 3D its not a pie. Its a wafer.
The Pointless Pie Chart commits another sin against good graphing that nobody has mentioned, it has a 3D effect to it. So, as seemingly approved of by M$ given the options they make so prominent in the office packages, you can brainwash your business meetings with slideshows of charts that don't even measure in screen area or angle as the data requires they ought.
Another funny thing about mirrors is that they can be made to swap for real, i.e. a concave mirror. ;DNope! 8)
Another funny thing about mirrors is that they can be made to swap for real, i.e. a concave mirror. ;DNope! 8)
The reflection is only swapped when the focal point (or axis) is between the mirror and the observer. Thus, it is the chosen path for the light that does the "swapping", and not the mirror: just put your eyeball close enough to the mirror, and the "swapping" always disappears.
However, a horizontally concave but vertically flat – somewhat like a cutout from a cylinder inner surface – mirror, when viewed from a suitable distance, does indeed reflect the image around the vertical axis, letting the observer see themselves somewhat like others see them. It only really works at a fixed distance, because further in or out the image aspect ratio will vary.
Cylindrical mirrors themselves have been used in anamorphic art: the mirror is placed on top of an image which is highly stretched, but when viewed through the mirror, the "correct" picture appears.
like the one where you realize at the end, that the hero is actually the bad guyexcepts it's the other way around, the bad guy was in fact the good guy all the time.
"The panda eats, shoots, and leaves."That panda sounds like the modus operandi of my last date. ;)
Ah, the missing comma genre. Here are some more:
"Let's eat, grandma!" / "Let's eat grandma!"
"The panda eats shoots and leaves." / "The panda eats, shoots, and leaves."
Reminds me of the "Attila the Hun Show" sit com sketch by Monty Python. Attila comes home to the family, says "I want you kids to get ahead", and pulls a severed head from a bag.Ah, the missing comma genre. Here are some more:
"Let's eat, grandma!" / "Let's eat grandma!"
"The panda eats shoots and leaves." / "The panda eats, shoots, and leaves."
In the same spirit:
What's that in the road ahead? / What's that in the road, a head?
Q: Why do PHP programmers wear glasses?
A: Because they can't C#
Where the workers use to mine around there in the heat at Wittenoom for asbestos.Hardly a joke that Gubbermints worldwide endorsed asbestos products until medical science proved its dangers.
in many places asbestos pipes are still used in old water main installations..And 101 other things,it was at the time the new wonder building material,it was even suggested as a way to get your home made wine clear.
It has been said that Charlemagne had a tablecloth made from asbestos. To his guests amazement he cleaned it himself by throwing it into a fire.
Ironically, the first products made from asbestos based fabrics were tablecloths and handkerchiefs.
Is that as bad as some soft drinks manufacturers infusion of their products with radon in the early 20th century?
If you need to explain active power, reactive power and apparent power to somebody which is not familiar with EE then I recommend to have a beer.That's really poor maths. The reactive power need to be orthogonal to the active power.
;D :-+
(https://www.setra.com/hubfs/Blog_Pictures/Energy_Mgmt/How%20is%20apparent%20power%20like%20a%20pint%20of%20beer.png)
Charlemagne lived in the first millennium, ca. AD 747 to 814.
Aluminum was discovered roughly 1000 years later, in 1825.
Ironically, the first products made from asbestos based fabrics were tablecloths and handkerchiefs.
Is that as bad as some soft drinks manufacturers infusion of their products with radon in the early 20th century?
Do you mean radium salts in patent medicines? see https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2366303/
Bottled mineral waters contain various mineral salts from the original source.
Ramlösa (from Sweden, now bottled by Carlsberg) used to include the Ra+ content on the label, along with Mg+ and others.
Radon, a decay product of heavier radioactive nuclei, occurs naturally in water at various levels https://archive.epa.gov/water/archive/web/pdf/radon-proposed-consumer-fact-sheet.pdf
Since it has a half-life of 3.8 days, it would be foolish to add it on purpose to bottled beverages.
Charlemagne lived in the first millennium, ca. AD 747 to 814.
Aluminum was discovered roughly 1000 years later, in 1825.
Thank you Tim. I believe that the legend has it that it was Napoleon III that had tableware made from Aluminium.
(My comment was intended as a joke)
The aluminum capstone on the Washington monument was installed in 1884, when aluminum and silver were roughly the same price, just before the price plummeted due to the new process.If it was the price of silver its price had already plummeted. At one point it was said to be more valuable than gold.
Was your confusion of radon and radium also a joke?
Your radon and aluminum comments were similar grammatically.
As far as the radioactivity health craze went, Radon was featured as well as Radium. People would pay to go down mineshafts and breath the gas in some limestone areas where quantities of Radon gas are produced by decay in rocks and seep through cave/shaft walls, becoming more concentrated in barely ventilated underground areas.Would? still do:
Scientists point out that *1 administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction *3 where it is allowed to accumulate. *2 Attempts are being made to determine how administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.
In 2015, Vennells told the parliamentary Business Select Committee that there was ‘no evidence’ of any miscarriages of justice. That was not true.
While the cover-up was in full swing, *1 the Post Office rubbished Second Sight, misled journalists and continued to dismiss the complaints of campaigning sub-postmasters.
*2 The Liberal Democrat and then Conservative ministers who ran the Business department during this period seem to have been asleep at the wheel.
...
*3 Vennells, who was paid more than £500,000 a year throughout her tenure, had been given one job by her government masters: to make the loss-making Post Office profitable.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.I use that for my work email signature.
There seems to be one with the plug disconnected and dangling out so not all of them maybe switched on.
:-// Are we still aloud to say GENDERCHANGER? :-//Only quietly.
[K-202]The Wikipedia Jacek Karpiński (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacek_Karpi%C5%84ski#K-202) article and history of K-202 makes for an interesting read.
|O :-DDPure genius! This is an alternative to those cheap crimp butt splices with low melt solder and heat-shrink sleeve; all in one.
Oh dear ...
(https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/engineering-jokes/?action=dlattach;attach=1999861;image)
I never understood why cartoon characters need to be ugly.
Just to let you know:Not in Manhattan.
E = m * (a² + b²)
I consult the ADC sample rate to Nyquist frequency one constantly:(https://www.nominal-animal.net/answers/adc-nyquist.svg)
I like this graph. Makes me think of 80% of current scientific publications.In a scientific publication, the horizontal axis would have been labeled something like "Stetson rate", with at least three citations to papers by fellow scientists who had problems with signal aliasing using similar terminology, and another one who cites another paper that mentions Stetson rate corresponds to the sampling rate as samples per second, and derives its name from the Harrison–Stetson method. Citation counts and publications are what define a scientists worth, after all, not the quality of their work.