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Genuine question- is Please and Thankyou a cultural thing on the EEVBlog forum ?

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amyk:
Personally I don't really care, because I've worked with a variety of different cultures and in some of them the closest (non-English) equivalent to "please" has a negative connotation of begging. There are probably quite a few threads where my answer is the last post. I don't bother keeping track of them.

Fraser:
To clarify one part of my question....

I am often contacted by people via PM asking for specialist help or information regarding X-Ray equipment, Thermal Imaging or other topics that I have been involved with on this forum. I am fortunate to have a large archive of information, manuals and software for many pieces of specialist equipment that I have played with over the years. Much of that information was obtained through either a lot of effort searching the Internet or from Manufacturers I contacted. Some information and software cannot be shared by me due to NDA's and just my promise to the provider to not share it.

Historically, when I have been approached via PM with a person asking me to share my knowledge, information and/or software, I have helped that person. Some of the information and software has had a very real cost to me so I could decline to share it, but I have not. When I share that sort of hard to source information, I do so out of an act of friendship and community spirit. To be Ghosted by the person as soon as they got what they were after feels anti-social to me  :(

I think I come from another era (born in the late 1960's) where people were genuinely pleased to receive help and said so with a Thank you. That was just good manners but these were often face to face encounters. I feel that in some cases, the use of computer communications that separates people has lead to the current situation where people ask for information or help, receive it and then walk away. If you convert that to a face to face situation it would not play out well ! You ask someone for a light for your cigarette and then turn you back on them without even a nod of appreciation...... not considered polite in my world.

An interesting comment above that I considered a possibility is the 'submissive' or 'begging' association with the English word "Please". In the UK, this is just courtesy and good manners but I can see that in some cultures people may consider it a submissive stance that their personal pride makes undesirable. I do not think the same applies to "Thank You" unless the person feels that they have a right to the helpers time for some reason, like they are being paid to help. Personally I say "Thank you" when someone does something for me, paid or not. It was just the way I was brought up in Britain and our traditions come through in our language. I write as I speak and I hope that I am polite in both mediums.

There is good advice that if something annoys or somehow irritates you, remove it from your life if practical to do so. Life is too short for such things. I do not need to help others with their problems in order to feed my Ego, be happy or feel fulfilled so can effectively close the door on requests for help where appropriate. My friends are assured of my continued support  ;)

Thank you to those who have commented in this thread. I have learnt more about the topic and, if I am honest, I am saddened by what I have discovered. I belong in a different era where helping people is concerned.

Fraser

tszaboo:
But then, when we started using this, one of the first thing they showed us was the Netiqette. Nowadays babies watch YouTube before they learn how to speak at all. Just look at the Youtube comments of any video. 50% of them will be "Lulz: Something that was just said in the video", the other 50% memes. This is quite civilized compared to that.
And there are a lot of cultures here. And that shouldn't be an excuse. If I can learn to hold my business card with two hands when exchanging, bowing my head. Then they can learn good manners.

About saying "please" explicitly: it can be avoided by using "could you" or "would you". But I can tell you that is some advanced English that is hard to master for some people. Just go into a Dutch bar, and the waiter will ask you politely for your order: "What do you want?" :-DD

JohnnyMalaria:

--- Quote from: tszaboo on March 21, 2021, 12:03:30 am ---About saying "please" explicitly: it can be avoided by using "could you" or "would you".

--- End quote ---

Either it's my age (born mid-60s) or country I grew up in (UK), but "Would you get me some water?" sounds demanding. The additional "please" makes a lot of difference to my ears.

helius:
There are always the alternative
"I'm sorry to bother you..."
"I wonder if you are able to..."
"Could I perhaps trouble you to..."

The key is that you are not entitled to another person's time or their help.

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