Hello from a sad and sick engineer

[NiHaoMike]

I Fold for the cure.
http://folding.stanford.edu/

On a related note, do a little research about GMOs and the chemicals used with them. There's a lot of evidence pointing it as a major contributing factor to a lot of health issues nowadays.

[kamaangir]

Sorry to hear about your condition. I have no experience of it so can't offer you any advice, but a guy at work keeps going on about "Rick Simpson running from the cure" its on youtube. Watch it and do your own research. There is nothing more delapitating than not having knowledge.

I read a book about emergency medicine written by an army doctor in a Japanese pow camp. He said the most important medicine he had was hot water. He would prescribe it to be taken 3 times a day and injured body parts to be washed in it. This gave the soldiers something to do and while they were doing something proactive they didn't spend all thier time dwelling on thier predicament.
The message was that positive mental attitude counted for a huge amount.

I sometimes come back to pondering on the questionof own mortality and the meaning of life, I spend lots of time arguing for and against different theories and end up more confused than I started. But then I remenber part of this poem:

In this world which ebb's and flow's, no begining nor end does it know, there stands a riddle posed long ago. Where do we come from, where do we go?

And if a mathematician, philosopher, astronmomer and one of the greatest poets was asking the same question and was not able to satisfy himself with his answer, then I am not doing so bad hahaha

The reason I have written these anecdotes is to not just say you have to be blah blah as I am sure others do in thier best patronising manner but to show where it has worked (anecdotally at least).

I am also planning on building a couple of tesla coils, depends how big you want to build them, I want mine about 1.5 m high. Broadly speaking there are 2 types, ones that can play music are solid state ones and according to guys I have spoken to, its best to dabble in them after you are confident enough with the normal resonant transformer ones. I plan on building a small table top one to practice. My lathe is in storage so I need to build a workshop to put it in 1st and use the lathe to wind on the magnet wire for the secondary.
So many projects completion depend on the completion of other projects!

Best of luck

Arash

[daybyter]

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/lymphoma/news/20141104/immunotherapy-brings-new-hope-cancer-fight

[Vgkid]

As others have said keep yourself occupied, it does wonders to help. Always look on the bright side of things, even when you are at your worst.

[Spekkio]

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/lymphoma/news/20141104/immunotherapy-brings-new-hope-cancer-fight

It is very interesting. I'm not an expert in cancer. But I wonder if it works on osteosarcoma. I suppose there are many different kinds of cancer cells, as there are many many different types of chemo treatments.

[Spekkio]

A lot of the time i might do "DIP conversions" on SMD chips. What i do is take a tiny piece of perfboard and put two headers at the edges to make sort of a DIP chip shape, then i use this dead bug style SMD soldering to bring the chips pins out. Then i stick these in to breadboards and wire them up there. Its less messy and more flexible for messing about and changing connections.

Yes I do that also sometimes.

I would like to be able to etch boards anyway. Did that the first time at work a couple of years ago.

[Spekkio]

I plan on building a small table top one to practice. My lathe is in storage so I need to build a workshop to put it in 1st and use the lathe to wind on the magnet wire for the secondary.
So many projects completion depend on the completion of other projects!

I have also been thinking about building a small desktop teslacoil. I don't have a workshop where I can mess around with larger stuff. Maybe at my fathers house.

[Spekkio]

I remember another dead project I always wanted to do. A GUI for ngspice.
I know there is one called Oregano, but I didn't like it at all.

It would be fun to make something that others feel is useful. I've never been able to make something useful really.

Projects usually dies because they get too big for me.

Oh, and just now while googling I found there is something called CUSPICE, circuit simulator for CUDA cores. Very interesting

[Berni]

You can still build tiny tesla coils the size of a coke bottle that will still shoot out small arcs in to the air, those also tend to use less lethal voltages on the primary.

Projects don't always have to be something useful, but yeah it does justify the work a bit better. Thing is even useful projects are only interesting while you are still working on it. Once the end product works the interest quickly vanishes and if it breaks later and you have to fix it its more annoying than enjoyable. Finding a few friends who are interested in the same kind of projects and just talking to them every so often will do wonders in keeping your motivation on it. Does not have to be someone who lives near you, there is a ton of people on the internet, just might be difficult to find the right ones.

Another thing that sometimes kills projects is feature creep. As the project develops often new feature ideas spring up all over the place, if too many of them make it in to the design it can quickly become too big to finish in a reasonable amount of time and eventually gets abandoned.

[TerraHertz]

It would be fun to make something that others feel is useful. I've never been able to make something useful really.

It's not just you. The only things I ever got to design that I felt were actually useful for anyone, were all in my early days when I was doing small contracts privately for people. Then there were the poker gambling games I wrote, run by flat-out illegal casinos - which definitely count as a social negative, but not toooo bad as I consider everyone is their own master. Later, in all the years I was working for legitimate companies, I consider EVERY SINGLE PROJECT they had me do was a complete and utter waste of time, due to fundamentally stupid objectives. It's why I retired early.

Ah... about those 'cancer cures' zip files I put up. Being quite large I can't leave them on my site too long. I'll take them down in a few days. If you want them, grab soon.

[Spekkio]

Ah... about those 'cancer cures' zip files I put up. Being quite large I can't leave them on my site too long. I'll take them down in a few days. If you want them, grab soon.

I downloaded them now. Thank you

[Spekkio]

Now I think I got enough apricot seeds 
Raw and Organic.



This is the sweet kind of apricot seeds, so I think I can eat a little bit more of it than the bitter kind.

[lapm]

You can still build tiny tesla coils the size of a coke bottle that will still shoot out small arcs in to the air, those also tend to use less lethal voltages on the primary.

Projects don't always have to be something useful, but yeah it does justify the work a bit better. Thing is even useful projects are only interesting while you are still working on it. Once the end product works the interest quickly vanishes and if it breaks later and you have to fix it its more annoying than enjoyable. Finding a few friends who are interested in the same kind of projects and just talking to them every so often will do wonders in keeping your motivation on it. Does not have to be someone who lives near you, there is a ton of people on the internet, just might be difficult to find the right ones.

Another thing that sometimes kills projects is feature creep. As the project develops often new feature ideas spring up all over the place, if too many of them make it in to the design it can quickly become too big to finish in a reasonable amount of time and eventually gets abandoned.

Funny, i work at brewery where soft drinks are also made. Always thinking if i would one day ask for empty can and build tesla coil or something in it... 

Yeah, projects dont always need to be super useful.. Sometimes its enough that's it just fun to do and you might learn something.. Like high voltage does jump small airgap and it hurts if it jumps to your finger.

[TerraHertz]

Now I think I got enough apricot seeds 
Raw and Organic.

So, no problem buying them there, obviously.

This is the sweet kind of apricot seeds, so I think I can eat a little bit more of it than the bitter kind.

Um... I didn't know there were more than one kind. I'd understood the slight bitterness of that kind I have is related to the presence of the B17 cyanide carrier. Also that they are not something you casually eat in any quantity.
So, maybe you should research whether the sweet ones you have do contain B17? Also, there are docs around (in that fileset too I think) about dosage per body mass. For both precautionary use (my case) or max safe dose (your case).

[Spekkio]

So, maybe you should research whether the sweet ones you have do contain B17? Also, there are docs around (in that fileset too I think) about dosage per body mass. For both precautionary use (my case) or max safe dose (your case).

According to Wikipedia

On average, bitter apricot kernels contain about 5% amygdalin and sweet kernels about 0.9% amygdalin.

And Amygdalin is Vitamin B17

[Rick Law]

Hi, I just feel I want to tell my story today.
...
...

/Daniel

Hello Spekkio,

I've been away for a few days and in the process of catching up my reading when I read your post.  My thoughts are with you today, and for the days to come.

I know nothing I can say can make the situation any better.  I hope that by your knowing many of us here care would make your bearing the unbearable a little little bit easier.

I do sincerely wish that with whatever time you may have, you live many life times' worth of enjoyment.

Best regards

Rick

[TerraHertz]

According to Wikipedia

On average, bitter apricot kernels contain about 5% amygdalin and sweet kernels about 0.9% amygdalin.

And Amygdalin is Vitamin B17

Yes: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/treatment/complementary-alternative/therapies/laetrile
Note that's a mainstream medicine site, so the article is full of "no evidence to support" type statements.

It would seem that bitter almonds are the ones you want.  Still, those sweet ones will be nice on cereal, so no loss.

[Zero999]

According to Wikipedia

On average, bitter apricot kernels contain about 5% amygdalin and sweet kernels about 0.9% amygdalin.

And Amygdalin is Vitamin B17

Yes: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/treatment/complementary-alternative/therapies/laetrile
Note that's a mainstream medicine site, so the article is full of "no evidence to support" type statements.

It would seem that bitter almonds are the ones you want.  Still, those sweet ones will be nice on cereal, so no loss.

How about growing your own bitter almonds?

Bitter almond trees are often planted in parks, gardens and streets for their nice flowers. If the blossom on the tree is pink then it's a bitter almond tree. The trouble is the almond tree flowers early in the spring, before the leaves and the nuts are produced in autumn, just before the leaves fall, so you have to see the tree six or more months before you collect the nuts.

EDIT:
I notice you live in Sweden which is a bit far north to grow almonds and get a reliable crop (where I live in England is already pushing it). You could try in a greenhouse, conservatory, orangery etc. but it mustn't be too warm in winter to allow proper dormancy and flowering.

[Spekkio]

How about growing your own bitter almonds?

Bitter almond trees are often planted in parks, gardens and streets for their nice flowers. If the blossom on the tree is pink then it's a bitter almond tree. The trouble is the almond tree flowers early in the spring, before the leaves and the nuts are produced in autumn, just before the leaves fall, so you have to see the tree six or more months before you collect the nuts.

Don't know how well that will work in cold and dark Sweden?

I can buy bitter apricot seeds too if I want. There doesn't seem to be any restrictions against that in Sweden, I just didn't know about the differences before I made the order. I picked these ones because they said they were organic.

[Spekkio]

Hello Spekkio,

I've been away for a few days and in the process of catching up my reading when I read your post.  My thoughts are with you today, and for the days to come.

I know nothing I can say can make the situation any better.  I hope that by your knowing many of us here care would make your bearing the unbearable a little little bit easier.

I do sincerely wish that with whatever time you may have, you live many life times' worth of enjoyment.

Best regards

Rick

Thank you

I felt I needed to get invloved a little bit more socially in a forum or chat, and maybe share and show the progress of my projects would be fun,

I really want to spend all the time I can having as much fun as I can now. And thinkering with electronics is one of the things I like to do the most.

[Zero999]

Don't know how well that will work in cold and dark Sweden?

I just realised that, see my edit.

You could try growing indoors, as long as it's given plenty of light and a period of below 10^oC in winter.

[Mechanical Menace]

Yes: http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/about-cancer/cancers-in-general/treatment/complementary-alternative/therapies/laetrile
Note that's from people who actually have a clue about medicine and have researched the subject thoroughly, so the article is full of "no evidence to support" type statements because there hasn't been any evidence supporting any benefits claim in amygdalin's 170 years of been pushed by snake oil salesmen as a cancer cure. 170 YEARS AND NOT A SINGLE SHRED OF EVIDENCE FOR ANY SUPPOSED BENEFIT. There have been cases of people using it for such getting cyanide poisoning though.

Fixed that for you.

According to Wikipedia

On average, bitter apricot kernels contain about 5% amygdalin and sweet kernels about 0.9% amygdalin.

And Amygdalin is Vitamin B17

Nope it isn't. The patented laetrile is what's called "vitamin B12." And that also isn't a vitamin. And that also has zero evidence of helping.




I hated you sort of people when dealing with my cancers, I hate you so much more when you're trying to pull others into your woo. You're no better than free energy and "solar roadway" salesmen. I wish I could believe you don't know what you're doing.

[Spekkio]

I hated you sort of people when dealing with my cancers, I hate you so much more when you're trying to pull others into your woo. You're no better than free energy and "solar roadway" salesmen. I wish I could believe you don't know what you're doing.

I'm sorry you feel that way. But you are completely misunderstanding me I think.
If you had read my post, I've explained that I am currently in a situation with my cancer where the doctors do not want to give me any available treatment. Or maybe I should explain a little bit more.
I have chronic cancer, that can only be treated with chemo that has a halting effect. I can not be cured.
There is one chemo-treatment that has worked very well. But they don't want to give it too me, because it has resulted in very dangerous blood infections (sepsis).
In a "normal" situation I would be given this chemo treatment regularly to stop the tumour from growing. People in the same situation like me have lived up to 10 years getting this halting chemo.
But since it gives me sepsis after each dose, it's too dangerous.

I have asked the doctors to give this treatment to me anyway, I have been positive of that.
But they don't recommend it at all. Several doctors, everyone that I have spoken to have agreed and said the same thing, that it eventually will kill me from sepsis.
So I get no chemo therapy, and no radiation therapy at this moment, and no surgery can be done. I have cancer, and I have no treatment, that is the situation.

I am currently waiting to meet a doctor to discuss if I maybe can get a small dose of radiation therapy. That was the only thing that they could come up with that might help.
If I can get it, I am going to try that, definitely. And the only thing I can do is hope it works.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist and I don't believe in anyone's "woo" and I am definitely not being pulled into it either.
I am a person who believes in science and facts.
I pretty much feel the same way you do about all these moon landing conspiracy freaks or water driven cars or solar roadway people like you do, I guess.
I sometimes read online from people who say, "chemo therapy is designed not to work", and other crazy things like that, it makes me angry.

I am an extremely sceptical person, I don't just believe in anything I read and hear.
I might have misunderstood what it said on the Wikipedia page about Vitamin B17, I just glanced on it quickly.
But the thing is, I have NOTHING else to try. So there's no damage done.

What damage could a few apricot seeds do? When I have a dangerous tumour growing on me that the doctors don't want to touch. I might as well die of anything. Highest risk at this moment (from what I understand) is bleeding to death, since the tumour might grow closer to the  carotid artery.
So I feel that it's no harm in reading a little bit about these alternative stuff that people are talking about. 
If there is some seed that people say is good for me, meh, whatever, I can try it. I still eat McDonalds, I did that today
I'm not going to do anything that takes too much work anyway, I'd rather spend that time tinkering with my electronics and do stuff that I love doing.

It really made me feel sad to read your post. I don't want there to be any discussions about conspiracies and big evil medecine organizations etc etc.. I'm not a big fan of that, I want to keep this on a friendly level.

[CatalinaWOW]

Again best wishes and hopes for your comfort and happiness.  Occasionally there are unexplained remissions.  Hopefully you will be one, but in any case focus on what floats your boat.  Good luck on a Tesla coil.  Make some peoples hair fan out and enjoy the beauty of the sparks.

[Spekkio]

Again best wishes and hopes for your comfort and happiness.  Occasionally there are unexplained remissions.  Hopefully you will be one, but in any case focus on what floats your boat.  Good luck on a Tesla coil.  Make some peoples hair fan out and enjoy the beauty of the sparks.

Thank you

I had some friends over today and we played a board game called China Town. It was a long time ago I had so much fun at home.
I rarely have friends over in my apartment, it's more often at theirs. Second time I played this game also. Played it once before with some friends from school a couple of years back, I thought it was so good I had to buy it.

I've heard about remissions. Well, I can only hope I guess.
Having a positive and happy mind does help you stay healthy, I do believe that! Honestly I have not been so happy alot of the time in the past.
I do feel much better now than I have, because I get antidepressants now. Maybe I should have had antidepressant medication long time ago.

Btw, about staying happy en healthy. I know there is a word for it. Something with "auto...". I saw a TED talk about it. people who have a healthy, positive and happy mind do stay physically healthy aswell. I guess it's basically some kind of placebo that works. But another word, that is auto...something.