Stop.

[technix]

This discussion is closed.

[AntiProtonBoy]

Does your country have anonymous help lines? In Australia we have Beyondblue for that purpose.

Perhaps go to a general practitioner and get a referral to a psychiatrist.

[AntiProtonBoy]

Give these guys a crack?
http://www.lifeline-shanghai.com/

[Faith]

The best advice would honestly be to get specialist help from a doctor as soon as possible. Both myself and especially my partner have suffered both depression and anxiety and our only regret was that we both waited WAY too long before seeking professional help. There's only so much family and friends can do.

Mental health should be taken with the same sense of urgency as you would if you had just gotten into a major car accident. The longer you wait, the worse off you'll be.

Please be well and see a doctor. Take this advice from someone who's been there.

<3 *hugs*~

[VK3DRB]

Why are you depressed?

It is not uncommon for electronics people to be introverted and depressed.

[technix]

Why are you depressed?

It is not uncommon for electronics people to be introverted and depressed.

I cannot find a job (thanks to my school delaying my diploma for three months just because of the laziness of one instructor forcing me to miss the graduates hiring season) and my family is putting a lot of pressure on me for this. There is absolutely nowhere to vent for me.

I am not exactly an Electronics people as my college degree is in computer science. Electronics is more or less a hobby but having some informal education from the single professor in my school that have a good grasp on both hardware and software helps.

[technix]

Repeat with my mom:

THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO STOP WORKING WITHOUT YOU.

OK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

[nctnico]

Repeat with my mom:

THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO STOP WORKING WITHOUT YOU.

OK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

Your mom is wrong! If there where no people the world wouldn't work so everyone is important somehow. My own mother could also irritate the hell out of me by saying 'don't try things you can't do'. It still makes me angry after decades because it is so demeaning and utterly wrong!

For now: just try to do one small thing everyday which makes you happy. Also make a list of things you can do to get a job. I don't believe there isn't anything out there. Perhaps you can start a computer/tablet/cellphone repair/configuration service. A simple advertisement in a local shop or newspaper (cheap) will draw in customers and that will lead to new opportunities.

[technix]

Repeat with my mom:

THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO STOP WORKING WITHOUT YOU.

OK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

Your mom is wrong! If there where no people the world wouldn't work so everyone is important somehow. My own mother could also irritate the hell out of me by saying 'don't try things you can't do'. It still makes me angry after decades because it is so demeaning and utterly wrong!

For now: just try to do one small thing everyday which makes you happy. Also make a list of things you can do to get a job. I don't believe there isn't anything out there. Perhaps you can start a computer/tablet/cellphone repair/configuration service. A simple advertisement in a local shop or newspaper (cheap) will draw in customers and that will lead to new opportunities.

I can take over the business my mom is operating (yes she is a business owner and if she allows me to I can take over) and the business she is operating have the required licensing to develop, make and sell anything that is even remotely related to computers. So if I stay clear of the high power stuff I can legally sell any electronics (as computer hardware) or computer software, online or offline. For pretty much anything I can put a Wi-Fi chipset,a Bluetooth module or even a USB port in it and claim it being some kind of exotic computer peripheral and get around with the regulations.

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

[CJay]

Repeat with my mom:

THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO STOP WORKING WITHOUT YOU.

OK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

Your mom is wrong! If there where no people the world wouldn't work so everyone is important somehow. My own mother could also irritate the hell out of me by saying 'don't try things you can't do'. It still makes me angry after decades because it is so demeaning and utterly wrong!

For now: just try to do one small thing everyday which makes you happy. Also make a list of things you can do to get a job. I don't believe there isn't anything out there. Perhaps you can start a computer/tablet/cellphone repair/configuration service. A simple advertisement in a local shop or newspaper (cheap) will draw in customers and that will lead to new opportunities.

What nctnico said.

Do one thing that makes you or even someone else happy, buy a stranger a coffee, smile at someone, say hello to the person who sells you your newspaper or whatever you buy, you might be surprised who you can cheer up a little and receive a smile back from with just a random smile.

Gain a little worth from that simple act.

That simple realisation that you're not alone in the world can go an awful long way.

And seek help, you've already taken a significant step, you've realised it's a problem and have opened up to us. That might be enough, it might not but take another small step, speak to a professional about it, there are many services out there who are trained to listen and offer support, you don't have to give them your name or put anything on the record with them and it may even be a free telephone call.

[Kilrah]

I do the stuff I like, with little regard to what others think about it. If people are criticizing me for it I move away from them. If you like what you do you'll eventually do something people like and THEY will come to you for it, which even as an introvert is usually OK to handle as opposed to reaching out to them.

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

Maybe start working on developing an online sales side of the business? That's MUCH easier to handle.

[technix]

I do the stuff I like, with little regard to what others think about it. If people are criticizing me for it I move away from them. If you like what you do you'll eventually do something people like and THEY will come to you for it, which even as an introvert is usually OK to handle as opposed to reaching out to them.

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

Maybe start working on developing an online sales side of the business? That's MUCH easier to handle.

I do have an online store on Tindie:

https://www.tindie.com/stores/maxtch/

But it is not generating enough revenue for me. And I have no idea how to develop it.

[nctnico]

A webshop is difficult. Don't worry about being introvert and anti-social. Those are common for technical people and most people know that so it is actually an advantage for working in a technical field. Being introvert and anti-social never held me back 

[Muttley Snickers]

Last night on television down here there was a UK documentary aired that I found truly inspirational, it was about people with various afflictions who through no fault of their own found it extremely difficult to gain meaningful employment and acceptance.

The program was called Employable Me and below are a couple of short video extracts, certainly worth viewing the entire program if you have the time and although my own life currently sucks due to severe health issues I’ve had it pretty damn good for quite a few years so can’t complain really, keep your chin up because nobody else will.   

[EEVblog]

It is not uncommon for electronics people to be introverted and depressed.

I don't know about depressed, I don't think I've ever been truly depressed, but introverted, yes, most certainly.
I spend most of my childhood and teens with hardly any friends, and didn't really even socialise with my family. I just wanted to be alone, just me locked away in my backyard shed was a my life until maybe my early 20's.

Are there any local hacker/maker spaces you can join and hang around with other like-minded people and work on cool projects?

[EEVblog]

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial.

Congrats, you are one of us! All you need now is the secret handshake
Seriously, that's the majority of engineers and nerds out there.

[technix]

It is not uncommon for electronics people to be introverted and depressed.

I don't know about depressed, I don't think I've ever been truly depressed, but introverted, yes, most certainly.
I spend most of my childhood and teens with hardly any friends, and didn't really even socialise with my family. I just wanted to be alone, just me locked away in my backyard shed was a my life until maybe my early 20's.

Are there any local hacker/maker spaces you can join and hang around with other like-minded people and work on cool projects?

The maker scene in Shanghai isn't that well developed like in Shenzhen or Hangzhou. I am afraid that it is a bit difficult to find one suitable for me.

[singapol]

 For a locally educated chinese your english is unbelievably good .It's good you recognise you have a "problem" but it does not mean it is hopeless. I understand chinese mothers have great expectations of their child especially since your mother is a business person so I believe she expects you to be like her..a survivor despite all odds having to survive doing business she may be disappointed in you but in reality in her heart's of hearts you mean something to her. Since you are male your mother expect you to be man enough. There is no mention of father?

Like the chinese saying "Ren pi ren, chi tsi ren." roughly translated it means if you compare with others you will frustrate or be angry with yourself. In a society where face matters I believe your mother is "anxious" for you.
The only way is to make up your mind and set yourself some goals.At your young age you may be clueless about this but you have to face reality or life as it is relentless that's why your mother is worried. Look and appreciate
from her perspective she means well.

As chinese myself we are not affectionately demonstrative like hug and kiss or even say I love you mom.
You may not know this but your mother is the most significant person in your life apart from your father.
I can only say if you feel you need help just ask the big guy up there or creator or god or even your spiritual guide and angel.They will hear you cross my heart. You can get through this. Chia you!

[madires]

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial.

At the moment, but that will change. I bet there are others with similar interests in your area. Best starting point for finding friends and topics to talk about. What about sports? Or something like ham radio? The old men are mostly very nice and happily support young people.

[rrinker]

 As another member of the club, let me relate something that helped me. When it comes to technical talks, I have no real problem speaking in front of a bunch of people, but for anything else - forget it. I had a story about my Uncle that I wanted to relate during that time at his funeral, just family and friends, and I just couldn't make myself stand up and say it, and there's now at I could stand in front of a crowd and deliver some sort of speech.

 Senior year in college, we were all required to take a technical presentation class. I was, naturally, dreading this. However, my professor became downright combative with me, telling me my information was wrong (it wasn't - and even the rest of the class was telling him to shut up so I could finish). From that moment on, at least with a technical sort of thing, I can jump right in and explain things in front of people I just met 5 minutes ago. I'm no longer intimidated. Which is good, because I'm often called upon to explain my designs and defend my choices (computer network designs - despite being an EE by degree I almost immediately slipped into computer consulting). I know it's all a psychological thing, if I can do it for my line of work technical information, I can do it for anything, but that's not how it works inside my head. I'm also not good when the only audience is a camera - you will likely never see a YouTube video from me where I sit there on camera and explain something I've done.

 I'm also very self-conscious about talking to a device. Even when I am completely alone and no one is around to overhear me. I feel like an idiot talking to Siri or Cortana. And no way am I allowing Alexa in my home, I would never speak to it. Maybe that's my personal limit on technology and I'm just too old to adapt now (just turned 50).

 But, I've made it this far despite being painfully shy. I'd much rather curl up by myself with a book than go to a party. I still have only a small circle of friends, not hundreds or thousands that some people seem to have. Some of them are the same friends I've had since school, such as my best friend whom I met in 7th grade when we found that we had a mutual interest in electronics. Some things have happened over the past couple of years that have had me down, thinking about my age and how much time I might have left and all the things I still want to do, but I don't consider that really abnormal, and I certainly have not had any thoughts of harming myself over it. A long time ago though, I decided that I didn't really care much what others thought, I was just going to be me and if they didn't like it, they could take a hike. I'm certainly not perfect, I have plenty of flaws, but it's when others take your positive assets and try to treat them as faults that you need to walk away. Those sort of people are poison and no one needs that sort of thing in their life.

[free_electron]

'don't try things you can't do'.

chicken-egg problem. you need to try it first to find out you can't do it .. and even then .. keep trying till you get it. 

[AntiProtonBoy]

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

Sounds like you have social anxiety related symptoms? You should seriously consider seeing a pro about this and get them to help you dealing with the situation.

As for facing clients, the good news is that the interaction will become routine. Most conversations you will have is going to be more or less similar and boring repetitive topics. You can learn common social interactions over time and it will become second nature to you. I am an introvert myself, but I face clients all the time in my line of work. Trust me, there is a pattern in dealing with them. And nerds like us are pretty good with figuring out patterns. 

[steve30]

As the title suggests, I am feeling very depressed and I don;t want to reach out, as none of my family is being supportive (no job = no family support - might I as well kill myself here?)

How do you work around this probably caustic situation?

With difficulty.

That answer is based on personal experience. I don't know what healthcare is like over there, but if you can pluck up the courage to see a doctor, it would probably be a worthwhile step. I've had anti depressant medication for several years now, and although my depression and anxiety don't seem to be 'cured', they are certainly a lot better.

[calexanian]

I do not know how the process of moving from school to career works in your country, but as said by others the depression and alienation of not having a peer group is common. I myself have that problem due to where I live and my family situation prevents me from moving. I also have dealt with depression and turned to my doctor for help. He got me with a therapist to talk about my problems and they came up with a solution for me. You are going to have to find such a solution for yourself. Your problems are not rare. Many people have dealt with them and have them under control rather than their problems controlling them. As a person of science and technology you must look at your life as an engineering problem that must be solved within a set of parameters to achieve the results you want.  Determine what you want to do, even if it is a very short term goal and begin working.

[vodka]

Repeat with my mom:

THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO STOP WORKING WITHOUT YOU.

OK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

Your mom is wrong! If there where no people the world wouldn't work so everyone is important somehow. My own mother could also irritate the hell out of me by saying 'don't try things you can't do'. It still makes me angry after decades because it is so demeaning and utterly wrong!

For now: just try to do one small thing everyday which makes you happy. Also make a list of things you can do to get a job. I don't believe there isn't anything out there. Perhaps you can start a computer/tablet/cellphone repair/configuration service. A simple advertisement in a local shop or newspaper (cheap) will draw in customers and that will lead to new opportunities.

I can take over the business my mom is operating (yes she is a business owner and if she allows me to I can take over) and the business she is operating have the required licensing to develop, make and sell anything that is even remotely related to computers. So if I stay clear of the high power stuff I can legally sell any electronics (as computer hardware) or computer software, online or offline. For pretty much anything I can put a Wi-Fi chipset,a Bluetooth module or even a USB port in it and claim it being some kind of exotic computer peripheral and get around with the regulations.

But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

I don't know the antisocial grade  that you have.  I  don't know if the mine is worse . I have been almost 9 month without going out  of  home , like very far  i went to throw the rubbish  to other side of the street.
The unique contact with humans are with my parents and my hermit brother.  Actually , i was since  18 July without going out of home.  That day i had a presencial  job interview, the first on my life  (after sending hundred CV) . I knew that probabilty  i didn't achieve the job  but  , on other hand  i can achieve information and experience on interview FACE -FACE. And like  i predicted  i didn't achieve the job because they had already choosen the candidates  .