Author Topic: How good is your aim at night?  (Read 17640 times)

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Offline donkey77

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #25 on: November 05, 2016, 08:12:46 pm »
When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!
 

Offline SL4P

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #26 on: November 05, 2016, 08:18:13 pm »
No-one could answer on another forum...
"Does it have a 'motion' sensor?"
Don't ask a question if you aren't willing to listen to the answer.
 

Offline JacobPilsen

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #27 on: November 05, 2016, 08:25:53 pm »
blue equals cool
Yeah, because (together with violet) it is colour of hottest stars.
 

Offline P90

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #28 on: November 05, 2016, 08:54:34 pm »
What's next, a laser target dot for your johnson?  LOL
 

Offline blueskull

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #29 on: November 05, 2016, 09:03:59 pm »
When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

You just need to add Internet connection and computer vision and it will automatically monitor your poop's quality and duration, which then can be used to generate a gastroenterology health report.
If you want to build a $10000 toilet, you can also add an ion mobility spectrometer module that automatically controls air freshener and fan based on the concentration of skatole!
 

Offline zapta

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #30 on: November 05, 2016, 10:30:37 pm »
They should use red light. It is known to be night vision friendly.


Drain the swamp.
 

Offline NANDBlog

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #31 on: November 05, 2016, 10:38:11 pm »
Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!
The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.
 

Offline timb

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #32 on: November 05, 2016, 10:50:52 pm »
Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!
The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.

We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic; e.g., Cheez Whiz, Hot Dogs and RF.
 

Offline vk6zgo

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #33 on: November 05, 2016, 11:16:16 pm »
Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!
The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.



We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}

No,it's not "water savers" that he's referring to.

In a standard Oz toilet,for example,there is only about 1-2 litres of water sitting at the bottom of the pan in the "quiescent " state.
Even when flushing,the only time  the water level gets at all close to the top is if the toilet is blocked,but that is a  different situation altogether.

It seems that peeing standing up is the crowning achievement of some bloke's lives,hence all this duck poo about leaving the seat up.

I'm sorry,but I've been using "dunnies" for a very long time,& can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've left the seat up.

 

Offline timb

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #34 on: November 05, 2016, 11:29:48 pm »
Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!
The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.



We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}

No,it's not "water savers" that he's referring to.

In a standard Oz toilet,for example,there is only about 1-2 litres of water sitting at the bottom of the pan in the "quiescent " state.
Even when flushing,the only time  the water level gets at all close to the top is if the toilet is blocked,but that is a  different situation altogether.

It seems that peeing standing up is the crowning achievement of some bloke's lives,hence all this duck poo about leaving the seat up.

I'm sorry,but I've been using "dunnies" for a very long time,& can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've left the seat up.

Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic; e.g., Cheez Whiz, Hot Dogs and RF.
 

Online 2N3055

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #35 on: November 05, 2016, 11:43:46 pm »
When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

You just need to add Internet connection and computer vision and it will automatically monitor your poop's quality and duration, which then can be used to generate a gastroenterology health report.
If you want to build a $10000 toilet, you can also add an ion mobility spectrometer module that automatically controls air freshener and fan based on the concentration of skatole!

And we'll call it IoT (Internet of Turds)  :-DD
 

Offline timb

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How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #36 on: November 05, 2016, 11:49:59 pm »
When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

You just need to add Internet connection and computer vision and it will automatically monitor your poop's quality and duration, which then can be used to generate a gastroenterology health report.
If you want to build a $10000 toilet, you can also add an ion mobility spectrometer module that automatically controls air freshener and fan based on the concentration of skatole!

And we'll call it IoT (Internet of Turds)  :-DD

I'm still waiting for my Smart Pipe to be delivered; I backed their Kickstarter like two years ago! Stupid broken Congress...

« Last Edit: November 06, 2016, 12:01:33 am by timb »
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic; e.g., Cheez Whiz, Hot Dogs and RF.
 

Offline CraigHB

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #37 on: November 06, 2016, 02:13:33 am »
Quote
That also lends the question why do they design toilets with the water so close to your butt.

Umm, how to put this delicately... The shorter the distance spent in freefall, the lower the terminal velocity, the less dramatic the splashdown! Well you did ask!

Haha, that reminds of a skit done by Tosh.0 where he was trying to fund an anti-splash toilet in a spoof on the show Shark Tank.  It was a normal toilet with a  dramatically long pipe from the bowl to the seat, I thought it was pretty funny.  Wanted to post a video clip from the show but couldn't find it.
 

Offline Bob K

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #38 on: November 06, 2016, 02:51:43 am »
I have the one that attaches to the toilet seat. It is out of the water and the batteries are easy to replace. The reviews on the side mount have not been good such as the led falling off the arm that is in the water, unit only lasting only a few weeks  or upon arrival did not work at all. Get the seat mounted one as  I have had no problems with the 2 I have.
 

Offline ivaylo

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #39 on: November 06, 2016, 05:03:37 pm »
If it's just to take a piss, the bathtub is harder to miss in the dark.
Or the sink if it's the right height, easy to flush too. Wife suggested it actually. Also changing batteries on anything but remote controls is against my religion...
 

Offline CatalinaWOW

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #40 on: November 06, 2016, 05:24:40 pm »
May not be everyone's problem, but my internal plumbing is such that I can't empty my bladder sitting down.  When a double duty opportunity arises I often have to finish by standing up, turning around and getting the liquid out.  It isn't a manhood issue, it is just the vagaries of how the various internal parts are put together. Wish I could, because as others have said it reduces the cleanup required. 

The aiming light has some utility.  I just close one eye while I turn the lights on.  The other one stays dark adapted to allow return to bed.  But having a dim light saves some time and effort.
 

Offline NANDBlog

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #41 on: November 06, 2016, 06:55:23 pm »
Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.
Nope. The toilets in Europe, have different design. Just search google (I'm not gonna post pictures). Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.
 

Offline SeanB

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #42 on: November 06, 2016, 07:37:16 pm »
Toilets here flush with 9l (2.5 US gallons) of water, and have been required to do so for at least 2 decades. There are still ones around that need a 13l ( 4 gallon) flush, and the hangouts from the 1950's ( they still work, and replacing them is a major pain as they all are either lead wiped cast iron or oakum packed lead with a bitumen seal, and are generally held with a really hard concrete base) are 22l (8 gallons) tanks.

The auto flush unattended toilets have been banned for all installations since 1990.
 

Offline Red Squirrel

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #43 on: November 06, 2016, 08:50:11 pm »
My aim is just as good at night than in the day, I have light fixtures in the bathroom.  :P

Seriously though, never understood the whole thing of not turning on the lights.  You just make everything harder on yourself by trying to do everything in the dark when half awake.
 

Offline blueskull

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #44 on: November 06, 2016, 08:57:01 pm »
Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Very popular in Chinese public facilities, though households don't use them. I have also seen this type in S. Korea and Japan a lot of times. Seems like this design is popular in Asia.
 

Offline vk6zgo

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #45 on: November 07, 2016, 01:01:05 am »
Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.
Nope. The toilets in Europe, have different design. Just search google (I'm not gonna post pictures). Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Yep! same with Oz ones.

When I was a kid there were still a lot of chain flush toilets around with cisterns made of  moulded concete.
These were of large capacity & particularly in public ablutions blocks were mounted anything from 7 to 8 feet above the floor.
The head of water was huge & they really roared when flushed,but the standing level of water in the bowl in the quiescent state between flushes was exactly the same as modern Australian toilets.

Being a little grot,I wrote the following bit of doggerel (why don't people write catterel?) at the age of about 12.

"Hark! The chain is being pulled.
How the cistern roars
Fast the water rushes forth
And it pours & pours & pours."

Another one was a parody upon "To Flush,my dog",by Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

"To flush my dog is difficult,the "S" trap is too narrow".
Erudite little snot,wasn't I?

Here is a good writeup on the difference between Oz/EU type dunnies & US ones:-

https://pottygirl.wordpress.com/2011/01/30/why-do-american-toilets-clog/


 

Offline Brumby

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #46 on: November 07, 2016, 01:36:55 am »
If we are getting into the poetic elements, I remember Howard Cunningham of "Happy Days" giving his son Richie a number of life lessons - from how to check if your fly is undone whilst standing in a group without drawing any attention (and then fixing this without being noticed) to this little ditty on the subject of nighttime toilet visits:

Water played on water
makes sound for all to hear,
but when it's played on porcelain,
is music to the ear.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2016, 01:40:48 am by Brumby »
 

Offline zapta

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #47 on: November 07, 2016, 06:36:35 am »
Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Here we still have the previous design of "no-hole-on-the-ground". Very popular for example in certain San Francisco's streets.
« Last Edit: November 07, 2016, 06:38:07 am by zapta »
Drain the swamp.
 

Offline Halcyon

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #48 on: November 07, 2016, 07:00:22 am »
I go for the muscle memory and "listen to the frequency of splash" method. Works almost every time  :-+
 

Offline TheWelly888

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Re: How good is your aim at night?
« Reply #49 on: November 07, 2016, 11:00:50 am »
Water played on water
makes sound for all to hear,
but when it's played on porcelain,
is music to the ear.

I once made the wooden bathroom floor resonate with the sound of my hard slashing one day - my mate told me not to aim in the middle again!
You can do anything with the right attitude and a hammer.
 


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