How good is your aim at night?

[Brumby]

I'm thinking this might be more relevant to the males of a household...



http://www.buyincoins.com/?r=bicProduct/index&pid=81989&gid=1237#.WB1mxS3YVEY

It's called the Toilight.  The specs say it has a sense range of 2m ... but I don't think that's a challenge.

[P90]

Sit and piss... problem solved...

[JPortici]

Sit and piss... problem solved...

like a girl?

[P90]

Sure, why not...
Then at least the wife won't complain you left the seat up... lol

[bktemp]

[AntiProtonBoy]

Sit and piss... problem solved...

like a girl?

Why, does that make you feel emasculated?

[JPortici]

Sit and piss... problem solved...

like a girl?

Why, does that make you feel emasculated?

can we please act like babies so that the marketing team behind this most useful of items can feel that their mission is accomplished  ?

[timb]

Sit and piss... problem solved...

like a girl?

Why, does that make you feel emasculated?

can we please act like babies so that the marketing team behind this most useful of items can feel that their mission is accomplished  ?

Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!

I don't know about you, but the last thing I want is my manhood taking a bath inside a strange toilet! Seat protectors don't help you there...

(Seriously, has no one else ever run into this? I once went an entire 3 days without crapping when I was housesitting with a girlfriend, because I couldn't sit on the toilet! By day 3 I was seriously considering just squatting in the back yard...)

[Dave]

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl

OHGOD, this. Luckily our toilets have the water at the back, but bumping your Johnson against the cold, cold porcelain is one of the worst things to wake up to.

I still don't see why you'd need to tinkle in the dark, though. How hard is it to flick a light switch?

[Kilrah]

How hard is it to flick a light switch?

Hurts the eyes.

Fortunately at my place once I get to the bathroom in the dark with just the light coming through the windows I can hit the switch for a corridor light that's out of view but just leaks enough into the bathroom to see what I'm doing, so I don't need this thing.

[timb]

How hard is it to flick a light switch?

Hurts the eyes.

Fortunately at my place once I get to the bathroom in the dark with just the light coming through the windows I can hit the switch for a corridor light that's out of view but just leaks enough into the bathroom to see what I'm doing, so I don't need this thing.

Just keep the shower curtain open when the tub's not in use. That way you can stumble in when it's pitch dark and pee with pretty much no aiming required! It's like a really big urinal.

[Gyro]

Ok, it's easy enough to illuminate the bowl but that only shows you what you're aiming AT.  That's only half the story! What's reallty needed is something to illuminate the 'stream' too - lightguide style! 

[TheWelly888]

I imagine some guys do it by sonar, sweep from one side until it hits water then keep it there until the stream finishes.

[Ampera]

Personally I have very very good nightvision,  and even in a pitch dark bathroom I can piss just fine.

However the STRANGEST bloody toilet I ever saw was in a house in Essen, where the hole was at the back, and you literally pooed on a platform at the bottom of the bowl, and when you flushed the
water came in and shoved the poo into the hole. Would not want to clean that toilet.

[JPortici]

Ok, it's easy enough to illuminate the bowl but that only shows you what you're aiming AT.  That's only half the story! What's reallty needed is something to illuminate the 'stream' too - lightguide style! 

you are right. but why stop there? let's also put a wifi enabled power resistance in the seat. open the app set the temperature. another great new IoT application.. until the day the evil hacker takes control of the seat and burns your asscheek

[Brumby]

... now you're just taking the piss. 

[JacobPilsen]

http://www.ebay.com/itm/262698998340
GBP 2.50
Ceiling is much better place for light source.

[Gyro]

To preserve your night vision all illumination needs to be RED (why do they insist on using blue?  ). Of course that could be a little disturbing in the middle of the night!

[rdl]

If it's just to take a piss, the bathtub is harder to miss in the dark.

[JPortici]

To preserve your night vision all illumination needs to be RED (why do they insist on using blue?  ). Of course that could be a little disturbing in the middle of the night!

duh? blue equals cool

[ZeTeX]

is it useful? nah
is it cool? hell yeah

[NiHaoMike]

How hard is it to flick a light switch?

Hurts the eyes.

Just keep one of those simple 1 LED flashlights by your bed.

[sca]

However the STRANGEST bloody toilet I ever saw was in a house in Essen, where the hole was at the back, and you literally pooed on a platform at the bottom of the bowl, and when you flushed the
water came in and shoved the poo into the hole. Would not want to clean that toilet.

Ahh, the famous German inspection shelves. Used to be very common in Austria too, thankfully being phased out now - I only tend to see them in older hotels. Even younger Austrians seem to find them hilarious now. Nothing worse than your turd staring back at you after morning ablutions.

sca

[CraigHB]

I'm waiting for an IoT toilet with a phone app.  I'm sure someone will come up with one if not already.  But yeah I have no problem sitting on the toilet to pee in the dark.  I just got disgusted with the scum buildup around the toilet from getting up to pee in the middle of the night.  I think my wife appreciates that more than I do.  Would never do that in a public restroom, don't want my man parts getting anywhere near that disease transmitting contraption.   That also lends the question why do they design toilets with the water so close to your butt.

[Gyro]

That also lends the question why do they design toilets with the water so close to your butt.

Umm, how to put this delicately... The shorter the distance spent in freefall, the lower the terminal velocity, the less dramatic the splashdown! Well you did ask! 

The single led torch by the bed, modified with a Red LED is my favorite solution.

[donkey77]

When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

[SL4P]

No-one could answer on another forum...
"Does it have a 'motion' sensor?"

[JacobPilsen]

blue equals cool

Yeah, because (together with violet) it is colour of hottest stars.

[P90]

What's next, a laser target dot for your johnson?  LOL

[zapta]

They should use red light. It is known to be night vision friendly.

[tszaboo]

Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!

The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.

[timb]

Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!

The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.

We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}

[vk6zgo]

Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!

The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.

We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}

No,it's not "water savers" that he's referring to.

In a standard Oz toilet,for example,there is only about 1-2 litres of water sitting at the bottom of the pan in the "quiescent " state.
Even when flushing,the only time  the water level gets at all close to the top is if the toilet is blocked,but that is a  different situation altogether.

It seems that peeing standing up is the crowning achievement of some bloke's lives,hence all this duck poo about leaving the seat up.

I'm sorry,but I've been using "dunnies" for a very long time,& can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've left the seat up.

[timb]

Hey, not all of us can sit on all toilets!

There are quite a few porcelain thrones where, when seated, my junk touches the front of the bowl; sometimes it actually dips in the water! It's like they were designed by Asian midgets or something!

The rest of the world is using a different style toilet, with 1/10 of the water than the US.
I'm also sitting. Once check, how much byproduct ends up on the floor and the furniture, if you use it standing.

We've had "water saver" toilets here for at least 20 years. (Incidentally, they absolutely suck*; or should I say, they *don't* suck, which is the problem! They frequently require multiple flushes to evacuate the waste after you evacuate your bowels... So they don't really save any water, do they?)

*Some of the more expensive low flow toilets do actually work well, but you don't see them as often because of the cost.

To mandate the use of an eco friendly shitter, is, well, shitty! If I want to be green while dropping brown, I can just put a filled gallon milk jug in the tank (thus displacing the water which causes less to be used with each flush), but I don't need it forced down my throat (or up my butt, as it were).

If you *really* want to save the planet, let's talk about getting rid of toilet paper: I don't say this often, but the French really have the right idea with the bidet! You can actually get a replacement toilet seat, that's heated (!) and works as a bidet (it even warms the water). :-}

No,it's not "water savers" that he's referring to.

In a standard Oz toilet,for example,there is only about 1-2 litres of water sitting at the bottom of the pan in the "quiescent " state.
Even when flushing,the only time  the water level gets at all close to the top is if the toilet is blocked,but that is a  different situation altogether.

It seems that peeing standing up is the crowning achievement of some bloke's lives,hence all this duck poo about leaving the seat up.

I'm sorry,but I've been using "dunnies" for a very long time,& can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times I've left the seat up.

Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.

[2N3055]

When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

You just need to add Internet connection and computer vision and it will automatically monitor your poop's quality and duration, which then can be used to generate a gastroenterology health report.
If you want to build a $10000 toilet, you can also add an ion mobility spectrometer module that automatically controls air freshener and fan based on the concentration of skatole!

And we'll call it IoT (Internet of Turds) 

[timb]

When we moved into our current house I thought that the pir light switches in the main and ensuite bathrooms were a good idea.
However the duration they stay on in the main bathroom is too long for the toilet or shower but have a bath and you end up climbing half out waving your arms around like a prat a few times.
That isn't as bad as the ensuite though. As my darling wife needs a tinkle at least once a night, I soon got fed up of being woken by the blinding light that automatically switches on as you cross the door threshold, and before she can shut the door.
Obviously the sensible thing is to replace the pir with a standard pull cord. I'm not that sensible.
I now have a controller that during the hours of 23:00-7:00 dims the lights and also disables the extractor fan (only a problem for number twos during the night). You can, if you wish, also log on via your phone to override it.
As the controller has an Astro clock built in it also doubles up as an outside light controller. Never one to over engineer something!

You just need to add Internet connection and computer vision and it will automatically monitor your poop's quality and duration, which then can be used to generate a gastroenterology health report.
If you want to build a $10000 toilet, you can also add an ion mobility spectrometer module that automatically controls air freshener and fan based on the concentration of skatole!

And we'll call it IoT (Internet of Turds) 

I'm still waiting for my Smart Pipe to be delivered; I backed their Kickstarter like two years ago! Stupid broken Congress...

[CraigHB]

That also lends the question why do they design toilets with the water so close to your butt.

Umm, how to put this delicately... The shorter the distance spent in freefall, the lower the terminal velocity, the less dramatic the splashdown! Well you did ask!

Haha, that reminds of a skit done by Tosh.0 where he was trying to fund an anti-splash toilet in a spoof on the show Shark Tank.  It was a normal toilet with a  dramatically long pipe from the bowl to the seat, I thought it was pretty funny.  Wanted to post a video clip from the show but couldn't find it.

[Bob K]

I have the one that attaches to the toilet seat. It is out of the water and the batteries are easy to replace. The reviews on the side mount have not been good such as the led falling off the arm that is in the water, unit only lasting only a few weeks  or upon arrival did not work at all. Get the seat mounted one as  I have had no problems with the 2 I have.

[ivaylo]

If it's just to take a piss, the bathtub is harder to miss in the dark.

Or the sink if it's the right height, easy to flush too. Wife suggested it actually. Also changing batteries on anything but remote controls is against my religion...

[CatalinaWOW]

May not be everyone's problem, but my internal plumbing is such that I can't empty my bladder sitting down.  When a double duty opportunity arises I often have to finish by standing up, turning around and getting the liquid out.  It isn't a manhood issue, it is just the vagaries of how the various internal parts are put together. Wish I could, because as others have said it reduces the cleanup required. 

The aiming light has some utility.  I just close one eye while I turn the lights on.  The other one stays dark adapted to allow return to bed.  But having a dim light saves some time and effort.

[tszaboo]

Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.

Nope. The toilets in Europe, have different design. Just search google (I'm not gonna post pictures). Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

[SeanB]

Toilets here flush with 9l (2.5 US gallons) of water, and have been required to do so for at least 2 decades. There are still ones around that need a 13l ( 4 gallon) flush, and the hangouts from the 1950's ( they still work, and replacing them is a major pain as they all are either lead wiped cast iron or oakum packed lead with a bitumen seal, and are generally held with a really hard concrete base) are 22l (8 gallons) tanks.

The auto flush unattended toilets have been banned for all installations since 1990.

[Red Squirrel]

My aim is just as good at night than in the day, I have light fixtures in the bathroom. 

Seriously though, never understood the whole thing of not turning on the lights.  You just make everything harder on yourself by trying to do everything in the dark when half awake.

[vk6zgo]

Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.

Nope. The toilets in Europe, have different design. Just search google (I'm not gonna post pictures). Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Yep! same with Oz ones.

When I was a kid there were still a lot of chain flush toilets around with cisterns made of  moulded concete.
These were of large capacity & particularly in public ablutions blocks were mounted anything from 7 to 8 feet above the floor.
The head of water was huge & they really roared when flushed,but the standing level of water in the bowl in the quiescent state between flushes was exactly the same as modern Australian toilets.

Being a little grot,I wrote the following bit of doggerel (why don't people write catterel?) at the age of about 12.

"Hark! The chain is being pulled.
How the cistern roars
Fast the water rushes forth
And it pours & pours & pours."

Another one was a parody upon "To Flush,my dog",by Elizabeth Barrett Browning:

"To flush my dog is difficult,the "S" trap is too narrow".
Erudite little snot,wasn't I?

Here is a good writeup on the difference between Oz/EU type dunnies & US ones:-

https://pottygirl.wordpress.com/2011/01/30/why-do-american-toilets-clog/

[Brumby]

If we are getting into the poetic elements, I remember Howard Cunningham of "Happy Days" giving his son Richie a number of life lessons - from how to check if your fly is undone whilst standing in a group without drawing any attention (and then fixing this without being noticed) to this little ditty on the subject of nighttime toilet visits:

Water played on water
makes sound for all to hear,
but when it's played on porcelain,
is music to the ear.

[zapta]

Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Here we still have the previous design of "no-hole-on-the-ground". Very popular for example in certain San Francisco's streets.

[Halcyon]

I go for the muscle memory and "listen to the frequency of splash" method. Works almost every time 

[TheWelly888]

Water played on water
makes sound for all to hear,
but when it's played on porcelain,
is music to the ear.

I once made the wooden bathroom floor resonate with the sound of my hard slashing one day - my mate told me not to aim in the middle again!

[depeje]

Yes, that's a "water saver" toilet. The tank is smaller, so it holds less water. Less water in the tank means less water in the bowl (because that's a function of capacity vs gravity). On these toilets, when you flush the water level doesn't rise more than a couple of inches before going down.

Nope. The toilets in Europe, have different design. Just search google (I'm not gonna post pictures). Also, ignore the "hole on the ground" ones, those are from russia.

Or France.

[JPortici]

or from a baita

[GreyWoolfe]

Sitting to piss keeps SWMBO happy and I am more than secure enough in my manhood not to worry about what other people think.  When we remodeled the master bath about 5 years ago, the toilet was a serious consideration as I hate my junk being dipped into cold water, which is why I refuse to use the guest bathroom.  Found a Kohler water saver toilet that flushes anything and keeps a low water level.  It sits a little high for SWMBO but is perfect for me.  It came with a soft close seat and lid that don't bang shut and it's perfect.

[mtdoc]

This inspires a product idea:

A rangefinding sensor that triggers different colored lights depending how close to the center of the bowl the stream is. Perhaps flashing lights and sound if you hit a "bullseye"

It would be just the thing to train my 8 and 10 year old boys to improve their aim!

Mom's around the world would love this!

Kickstarter anyone?

[JPortici]

1:25 in

[Gyro]

Sitting to piss keeps SWMBO happy and I am more than secure enough in my manhood not to worry about what other people think.  When we remodeled the master bath about 5 years ago, the toilet was a serious consideration as I hate my junk being dipped into cold water, which is why I refuse to use the guest bathroom.  Found a Kohler water saver toilet that flushes anything and keeps a low water level.  It sits a little high for SWMBO but is perfect for me.  It came with a soft close seat and lid that don't bang shut and it's perfect.

There must be thousands of man hours (oops) of research going into the design of these things and in determining the optimum water level. I guess the main difficulty is the huge variation in tolerances of a number of human dimensions (particularly in the US  ). I suppose given all the variables involved it's inevitable that a percentage of the population are going to 'dip their junk' and possibly a few, actually fall in! Meanwhile others sit high and dry (aside from splashback), oblivious of their less fortunate neighbours' suffering.

[timb]

This inspires a product idea:

A rangefinding sensor that triggers different colored lights depending how close to the center of the bowl the stream is. Perhaps flashing lights and sound if you hit a "bullseye"

It would be just the thing to train my 8 and 10 year old boys to improve their aim!

Mom's around the world would love this!

Kickstarter anyone?

What happened to just putting some Cheerios in the water and using them as targeting rings? That's how I learned!