General > General Technical Chat
How to deal with manipulative coworker
tszaboo:
--- Quote from: Fraser on September 08, 2022, 11:42:39 am ---So you have been at this company only a year ?
Run, do not walk, RUN to the exit door ! Such a poorly managed company will eventually destroy your health and happiness. With only a year invested in the company you really should look for a better employer. I am 55 and spent all my working life with one employer who was fair to its staff and offered good support when needed. Do not spend another year of your life with a company that does not deserve you. Start working on an exit strategy. If a potential employer asks why you are leaving your current employer you can be quite honest and say that your current employer did not deal with a bullying situation so you now want to join a better employer ! No shame in admitting you were effectively bullied and most employers respect those who actively pursue a better job than tolerate bullying.
Fraser
--- End quote ---
Five years, give or take. It was very high turnaround in the engineering team in the meanwhile.
jpanhalt:
--- Quote from: tszaboo on September 08, 2022, 11:24:32 am ---
--- Quote from: jpanhalt on September 08, 2022, 10:04:26 am ---That's not really a question if you are "on official notice."
--- End quote ---
On the notice, meaning that if they see the continuation of this imaginary pattern of behavior then they can fire me.
I keep track of the events. They cannot make me the scapegoat legally, since someone else is the EX responsible person in the company. Doesn't mean they would not just shoot the messenger. Or because I have the technical expertise. I looked up, there are new laws from 2016 protecting whistleblowers, they are very much on the employees side. But then I would be just stuck in a job in a small company where they don't like me.
--- End quote ---
[/quote]
That situation equates to "probation." Regardless of how long you stay, you have been overlooked for promotion and that will haunt you. You are on your way out. The best you can do is try to negotiate a smooth exit and minimize animosity. In the US, whistle blowing is highly technical. It can be difficult to prove. That option would not be very high on my list. If that is what you're left with, be sure to consult with someone knowledgeable about what's required.
Fraser:
tszaboo,
Ask yourself one very important question…… can you see yourself being happy in the current company in the foreseeable future ? If not, that job will damage your long term health. Your priority should be to protect yourself from a toxic work environment and if that means moving to a new employer who will value you, then that is the way forward. Do not make excuses to yourself that you will weather the storm, or things might get better. They already sound irrecoverable to me. That co-worker got what they wanted and will make your life a living hell. Sociopaths are a nightmare to work with.
Your challenge now is to negotiate your departure such that your present employer holds no grudge and provides a good reference in return for your making it easy for them to part ways with you. Their loss and they will likely regret taking on a sociopath like your colleague as he will, no doubt, wreak havoc throughout the small company over the coming months.
It sounds harsh but it is time to pull up your big boys trousers and plan your exit rather than ask a forum to help deal with a situation that only you truly understand and have the power to change in your favour.
Fraser
Squarewave:
That sounds incredibly stressful. Hope it's all sorted out!
Fraser:
This article may be worth a read as you may recognise the detailed behaviour in your colleague……..
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/sociopath
Fraser
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