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How to deal with manipulative coworker
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dastructhm:
The only way to solve issue like this: Be the guy who can work with anyone.

It sounds easy or very difficult, but it's true. Friends come and go, but the enemies accumulate..

I recommend watching this video series:

https://youtu.be/SmeyzDEEieY?list=PLGs0VKk2DiYxoFT6TYPJgBu81B1pVtOmz
tszaboo:

--- Quote from: dastructhm on September 21, 2022, 06:02:49 am ---The only way to solve issue like this: Be the guy who can work with anyone.

It sounds easy or very difficult, but it's true. Friends come and go, but the enemies accumulate..

--- End quote ---
It sounds very difficult, when it's about things that I care about. That's probably the issue. I started caring, and trying to make the best of things.
Well, that's sorted now.


--- Quote from: tom66 on September 20, 2022, 05:24:50 pm ---Does the lack of replaceability guarantee immunity towards being fired?  Hell no, sometimes corporate leaders have no idea how significant certain members of a team can be.  Can it end up being a really bad move to sack someone who is integral to a project's completion?  Absolutely, and that can make them irreplaceable, and bosses that are aware of that will often let these employees get away with bloody murder, within the limits of HR.

--- End quote ---
Yes, I've seen my boss do this with someone else. He could get away with not commiting his work to the version control, and bully others out of their job. It happened at a different branch, didn't have to work with him. But I had to tell my boss, if they ever put me on a team with him, I quit on the spot.


--- Quote from: tom66 on September 20, 2022, 05:24:50 pm ---Like it or not, many engineers suck at documentation.  Some of that is out of fear that documentation will make it easier to replace them, but I think it's more because writing documentation well is *boring* and feels unproductive. 

--- End quote ---
That's actually the trick I have. We have to do a lot of documentation, and a niche electronics design practices for ATEX. I've been delivering constantly projects, without too much headache to management, and they see that. Because previously the documentation part of the project took several months to deliver, and they had to hire external consultants full time to do that.
Plus, I've seen them fire people without the due process, banking on the fact that they are foreigners, and don't know that there needs to be a court order for such a dismissal. They are not doing that with me, just trying to keep the status quo.

This is just me trying to rationalize the events. I'm not bulletproof. I have the screw you money Dave keeps talking about. It really is a good way to secure your life against situations like this. But I would say it actually has a drawbacks: Having the money makes you too confident.
It's a good insurance against abuse from your managers. It's not good when you have coworkers trying to abuse you, because they are just going to escalate the situation, and make your life annoying, without actually being an actual threat to you.
Nominal Animal:

--- Quote from: tszaboo on September 21, 2022, 08:57:17 am ---I started caring, and trying to make the best of things.
--- End quote ---
That's very close to what broke me.  I am the type who can work with anyone.  Even if I vehemently disagree with you, and we seriously argue about something, I'll be happy to try and help you in other things.  I just am like that, a toolmaker, enabler; thing-oriented.  I have always cared too much about the work itself, and did not learn to just walk away until it was too late.

How to walk away from a bad job or bad job environment –– or hell, a bad environment! –– is something everyone should learn how to do.
Fraser:
Nominal Animal…you and I have much in common !

Fraser
Psi:
Hm..

Probably how I would handle this is a paper letter mailed to the CEO (or any high-up person that you know will listen).

In the letter you would outline the issue and what dishonest things this person has been doing.

The letter would end in your official resignation with a statement that you enjoy working there and would be very happy to come back but it's either him or you.
Tell them you will give them 1-2 month before you move on.

Then you take some time to do things around the house that you've been putting off, you look for new jobs etc..
But mostly you are waiting for bad stuff to happen at the company, due to you not being there, which proves to them you're more valuable than he is.  By quitting you regain control of the situation.

Either they will call, and you get your job back, or they don't and you move on.

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