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| How to deal with manipulative coworker |
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| Ed.Kloonk:
--- Quote from: fourfathom on September 22, 2022, 06:24:22 am ---You can control what you do, how you react. Take charge of your life. Don't be a victim. --- End quote --- :clap: Thank you. :) |
| tggzzz:
--- Quote from: Nominal Animal on September 22, 2022, 02:45:23 am --- --- Quote from: pcprogrammer on September 21, 2022, 11:37:11 am --- --- Quote from: Fraser on September 21, 2022, 11:06:59 am ---Nominal Animal…you and I have much in common ! --- End quote --- As do I and probably others on the forum too. Caring for the work and trying to do it perfect will bring you down in the end. Been there twice. The first time full on breakdown, the second time almost and I walked away from it. After that I tried to keep ahead of it, but it was not easy. It is housed in my DNA :palm: --- End quote --- That's exactly the reason I'm voicing it out: people like us, including tszaboo, technically oriented people motivated by the work itself, are particularly susceptible to this; and this can easily destroy us. I'm just waving a flag, saying "here lies a dangerous pitfall, beware", and describing what happened to myself to show that the pitfall has sharp spikes in it, illustrating how serious a danger it is. --- Quote from: tggzzz on September 21, 2022, 09:23:06 pm --- --- Quote from: nctnico on September 21, 2022, 09:11:21 pm ---As a side note: My saying is that companies as an entity have the moral compass of a 4 year old child. --- End quote --- Not always true. When I worked for HP, and before Princess Fiorina, there was a very strong moral compass inside HP. It was known as "The HP Way". --- End quote --- It depends on the owners and stockholders, actually. The purpose of a company is to make profit, and if the leadership puts anything before profit, stockholders may take them into court. However, if the owners/stockholders tell the company to behave in a specific way, then the situation is different. Thing is, how many Owners are there that put things like company morals ahead of their own profit? Not many. Some, yes; but not many. --- End quote --- HP was indeed a notable exception. That's how they made it into the somewhat famous book "In Search of Excellence". Not a bad book, but it was amusing that it is 400 pages long - many of which note that the successful companies quickly get to the nub of an issue and deal with it :) --- Quote from: fourfathom on September 22, 2022, 06:24:22 am ---Making a profit is not evil -- that's how we put food on the table. And there is no good reason that a company has to behave in an evil manner in order to make a profit. But sometimes they do, by pursuing short-term gain while ignoring long-term damage, or by allowing personal biases to destroy the work environment. It's tough to run a company, and sometimes unpleasant decisions have to be made. And you have to make choices based on uncertain factors, steering into a future that is unknowable. And sometimes people are just stupid. --- End quote --- Yes indeed. HP explicitly took the attitude that they made a profit by ensuring their customers could use their equipment to make a profit. Before I joined HP, I experienced HP helping in my company ways that cost them some time/money, even though they were under no obligation whatsoever. On at least one occasion when they had to shut a facility, the internal magazine publicised the problems that was causing for some long-term (decades) employees. They also noted how the employees could have helped themselves to retain employability (basically not doing the same thing for decades). |
| Nominal Animal:
--- Quote from: fourfathom on September 22, 2022, 06:24:22 am ---Making a profit is not evil -- that's how we put food on the table. And there is no good reason that a company has to behave in an evil manner in order to make a profit. But sometimes they do, by pursuing short-term gain while ignoring long-term damage, or by allowing personal biases to destroy the work environment. It's tough to run a company, and sometimes unpleasant decisions have to be made. And you have to make choices based on uncertain factors, steering into a future that is unknowable. And sometimes people are just stupid. --- End quote --- Oh, I do absolutely agree. Even psychopaths can be wonderful to work with, when they are on your side. It's really the shortsightedness and stupid immediate gratification seeking that is harmful, really. Aside from that, I do think there is a niche for every kind of human personality. --- Quote from: fourfathom on September 22, 2022, 06:24:22 am ---I guess I am saying that guessing at motivations is sort of useless. Look at the facts of your situation and act on those facts. How or why are not important. You can control what you do, how you react. Take charge of your life. Don't be a victim. --- End quote --- Right! But my point was more on the lines of trying to change others is a fool's errand. It is always honorable to leave, to go somewhere else where ones own contributions can have a more positive effect. This is important to understand and internalize: by staying, you are not doing anyone any favours –– except possibly enabling the manipulators to continue manipulating. |
| pcprogrammer:
--- Quote from: Nominal Animal on September 22, 2022, 09:31:09 am ---Aside from that, I do think there is a niche for every kind of human personality. --- End quote --- Yes, but for some that is a deep and dark hole in the ground >:D Sorry, has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but could not resist. |
| nctnico:
--- Quote from: fourfathom on September 22, 2022, 06:24:22 am ---Making a profit is not evil -- that's how we put food on the table. And there is no good reason that a company has to behave in an evil manner in order to make a profit. But sometimes they do, by pursuing short-term gain while ignoring long-term damage, or by allowing personal biases to destroy the work environment. It's tough to run a company, and sometimes unpleasant decisions have to be made. And you have to make choices based on uncertain factors, steering into a future that is unknowable. And sometimes people are just stupid. --- End quote --- It is more dangerous than that. People feel less vulnerable for accountability when part of a group. This 'documentary' shows this effect in action: |
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