I finally got my computer science paper published!

[xrunner]

Please find attached. All commentary on the paper is welcome!

[sokoloff]

Gibberish paper auto-approved?

Reads like a Markov chain generated string of gibberish. (Mods, I'm 99.98+% sure that's the case, and therefore, I don't believe this is a personal attack. It's not intended to be in any event.)

[IanB]

Please find attached. All commentary on the paper is welcome!

Commentary:

 

[ez24]

Can I ask what this is for?  I assume some university ? It is over my head (old and gray)

Learned a new word "dogfooding"  As I write this I do not know what this means, but since I feed my dogs fresh organic food and I eat their left overs (cheaper than vet bills).  Maybe this means treating something better than yourself?

[xrunner]

Can I ask what this is for? 

Sure, consider the early model by Bhabha; our methodology is similar, but will actually overcome this problem. Any natural investigation of the understanding of courseware will clearly require that redundancy can be made omniscient, game-theoretic, and electronic; our heuristic is no different.

Does that help?

[timb]

Choice quotes:

"...such as Microsoft DOS and FreeBSD 0d Service Pack 8."

"(1) we measured tape drive speed as a function of USB key throughput on an IBM PC Junior; (2) we measured flash-memory speed as a function of flash-memory space on an IBM PC Junior; (3) we measured tape drive speed as a function of tape drive space on an Atari 2600; and (4) we measured optical drive space as a function of ROM speed on an UNIVAC."

"Similarly, Awe requires root access in order to create neural networks."

Indeed!

XD

[IanB]

Can I ask what this is for?  I assume some university ? It is over my head (old and gray)

It's not a real paper. It's a joke (contains utter gibberish).

Learned a new word "dogfooding"  As I write this I do not know what this means, but since I feed my dogs fresh organic food and I eat their left overs (cheaper than vet bills).  Maybe this means treating something better than yourself?

Means "eating your own dog food". That is, if you make something for others to use you should be sure to use it yourself to demonstrate its quality.

[timb]

Can I ask what this is for?  I assume some university ? It is over my head (old and gray)

Learned a new word "dogfooding"  As I write this I do not know what this means, but since I feed my dogs fresh organic food and I eat their left overs (cheaper than vet bills).  Maybe this means treating something better than yourself?

"Dogfooding" is a buzzword, meaning to eat your own dog food, I.e, use your own product. (If you wouldn't eat it, why would you feed it to your dogs; If you wouldn't use it, why would you sell it to customers.)

[xrunner]

Indeed!

XD

Thanks for reading, and I'd like to add my system relies on the appropriate architecture outlined in the recent seminal work by Shastri in the field of hardware and architecture. Though physicists largely postulate the exact opposite, our methodology depends on this property for correct behavior. Any theoretical study of concurrent symmetries will clearly require that the memory bus and model checking are usually incompatible; our heuristic is no different.

[timb]

Indeed!

XD

Thanks for reading, and I'd like to add my system relies on the appropriate architecture outlined in the recent seminal work by Shastri in the field of hardware and architecture. Though physicists largely postulate the exact opposite, our methodology depends on this property for correct behavior. Any theoretical study of concurrent symmetries will clearly require that the memory bus and model checking are usually incompatible; our heuristic is no different.

Have you tried running Awe on a positronic matrix yet? I suspect you'd see up to an 800% increase in the throughout of neural network growth due to the Bayesian-Keen effect. Running your secondary and tertiary daemons through a Sallen-Key filter may also improve the efficacy of your Beowulf-cluster.

[ECEdesign]

Your first citation is number 15 this is quite unconventional.  What journal is this published in?  I have access to most all of them at the university

[xrunner]

Have you tried running Awe on a positronic matrix yet? I suspect you'd see up to an 800% increase in the throughout of neural network growth due to the Bayesian-Keen effect. Running your secondary and tertiary daemons through a Sallen-Key filter may also improve the efficacy of your Beowulf-cluster.

Not yet, but we modified our standard hardware as follows: we scripted an ad-hoc prototype on the KGB's semantic testbed to measure the topologically adaptive nature of interactive algorithms. First, we added 300MB of NV-RAM to our network to discover configurations. Similarly, we removed 10MB/s of Wi-Fi throughput from our underwater overlay network. We doubled the RAM throughput of our mobile telephones.

[ez24]

It's not a real paper. It's a joke (contains utter gibberish).

Oh thank god - I was feeling really stupid 

This starts to happen when you get near the line (alzheimer's).  This is elder abuse ha ha ha

[xrunner]

LOL - this thing has been around a long time -

SCIgen - An Automatic CS Paper Generator

https://pdos.csail.mit.edu/archive/scigen/

When I was still working I generated a PDF of one and printed it out on really nice resume paper, and gave it to some people at work to read. They didn't seem to realize it was gibberish, and sortof acted like they didn't want me to think they were not able to comprehend it, so they just said it was interesting but not really something in their field.

But they've actually submitted these gibberish papers to conferences and had them accepted! 

[DimitriP]

It's not a real paper. It's a joke (contains utter gibberish).

It reads like some troubleshooting videos I've watched...

Create your own (paper, not video) here: https://pdos.csail.mit.edu/archive/scigen/

[ez24]

It's not a real paper. It's a joke (contains utter gibberish).

It reads like some troubleshooting videos I've watched...

Create your own (paper, not video) here: https://pdos.csail.mit.edu/archive/scigen/

Could not open any videos, love to see a talk on this.

Really funny topic    (after recovering from a dumb attack)

[xrunner]

Really funny topic    (after recovering from a dumb attack)

Hi ez24,

xrunner here. I'm working on a new paper as follows. To begin with, I motivate the need for vacuum tubes. I place my work in context with the related work in this area. To realize this goal, I present a novel heuristic for the study of scatter/gather I/O (I call it GimMoto), which I will use to argue that the producer-consumer problem and voice-over-IP are regularly incompatible. Next, to fulfill this purpose, I disconfirm not only that the Internet can be made trainable, linear-time, and interposable, but that the same is true for randomized algorithms. Ultimately, I conclude.

Stay tuned ...

[timb]

Really funny topic    (after recovering from a dumb attack)

Hi ez24,

xrunner here. I'm working on a new paper as follows. To begin with, I motivate the need for vacuum tubes. I place my work in context with the related work in this area. To realize this goal, I present a novel heuristic for the study of scatter/gather I/O (I call it GimMoto), which I will use to argue that the producer-consumer problem and voice-over-IP are regularly incompatible. Next, to fulfill this purpose, I disconfirm not only that the Internet can be made trainable, linear-time, and interposable, but that the same is true for randomized algorithms. Ultimately, I conclude.

Stay tuned ...

What are you, stupid? Sure *maybe* The Internet can be made trainable (like a puppy pissing on a newspaper) and *possibly* interposable (like thumbs), but *everyone* (and their mother) knows it can't be made linear! It's clearly logarithmic. Duh.

[ez24]

What are you, stupid?

Sure as poop 

[xrunner]

What are you, stupid? ...

I wanted to respond to Mr. Timb earlier, but I was so busy, I simply did not have the time. Nevertheless, what I need to say is so important, I knew I simply had to allocate a few minutes to write a brief letter on the subject. I would like to start by discussing Timb's activities, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that Timb has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. He can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches Timb's nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of nepotism and how prisons exist not for punitive or rehabilitative purposes but rather to carry out a stinking political agenda against minorities and the poor. As you listen to Timb's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that he is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when indecent wonks oppress, segregate, and punish others. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that everything is happy and fine and good. And fear of cankered, pudibund savages like Timb who mold your mind and have you see the world not as it is but as he wants you to see it. Finally, to those of you who are faithfully helping me expose Mr. Timb's sermons for what they really are, let me extend, as always, my deepest gratitude and my most affectionate regards.

http://www.pakin.org/complaint

[edy]

I read the first few lines and realized quickly it was complete garbage. Just a string of technical jargon that is unrelated and no coherent argument or thought process as would underpin a real paper.

As far as being accepted for conferences or publication, that is funny. 

[Macbeth]

Why are people lambasting this great work? Do you have any comprehension of the feels that the author must be going through reading all your negativity? One word - Triggered! Yes, we can see him pretending it's all a joke, but we know deep down he is in denial and using that typical male shield in front of his peers.

xrunner - don't be ashamed, there is nothing wrong with post-modernist third wave feminist electronics & comp sci! It's the future! Leave all these neanderthals behind.

[Macbeth]

Gibberish paper auto-approved?

Reads like a Markov chain generated string of gibberish. (Mods, I'm 99.98+% sure that's the case, and therefore, I don't believe this is a personal attack. It's not intended to be in any event.)

I'm pretty sure all USA "intellectual property" patents are approved in the same way.

Which is why China are and will defeat the western dinosaurs. You see all the shit those Chinese kids get to play with? "leaked" datasheets, Allwinner ARM chips 2 weeks old and all? pennies to pay for them too... We still aren't allowed the API of the Broadcom used in a RPi.

...and we have post modernists getting in to Engineering posts...

[xrunner]

xrunner - don't be ashamed, there is nothing wrong with post-modernist third wave feminist electronics & comp sci! It's the future! Leave all these neanderthals behind.

Thanks! 

(I specifically used the forum "Thank You" on your post)

[zapta]

Ok, here it is again