Author Topic: Just lost a family member to Covid19  (Read 2082 times)

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Offline worsthorse

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #25 on: April 12, 2020, 04:16:42 pm »
   The wife of one of my in-laws just passed away this afternoon from covid19.  She was 70 years old and only became ill last Friday.  She had been keeping her 14 YO grand daughter while her mother worked and they think that she caught if from her even though she was asymptomatic.

My condolonces.

Be alert to how the granddaughter might feel, in terms of guilt etc, which can be corrosive over time. Don't presume any such emotions will appear instantly; my daughter had a habit of suddenly talking about feelings that had been briefly mentioned weeks earlier.

I have a 98yo mother. I have made it a point to tell people in advance that they should not feel any guilt if she catches covid-19 and dies. I specifically point out that she could catch it from anybody, so they might not be the cause.

I am so sorry to hear of your loss and I hope you and your family are getting the support you need. This is a heartbreaking time.

Thinking about her granddaughter... please don't assume that anyone knows where or how her grandma caught the virus. Without testing and contact tracing, it is very difficult to tell. Why risk making anyone suffer guilt in such circumstances?



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Offline tooki

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #26 on: April 12, 2020, 07:10:35 pm »
OP, sorry for your loss. :(



Staying away from the grandparents may have saved their life.


   That's worth repeating.  Too many people around here use their parents as no-cost baby sitters. Most of them don't seem to know, or care, that that could easily costs their parents their lives in this situation.
This is precisely why Switzerland officially did not close schools per se, but rather canceled classes but (supposedly)* still allowed kids whose parents have to work to go to school somehow and just work in isolation: they expressly did not want grandparents taking care of kids instead.

*Using the weasel words because I honestly don’t know how it’s worked out; every indication I’ve seen is that kids are all staying home. Or worse, going out and playing with other kids, defeating the whole purpose...
 

Offline james_s

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #27 on: April 12, 2020, 08:00:10 pm »
It's a serious problem that has occurred to me too. I don't know what the situation is like in other countries but here daycare can easily cost more than one earns in a relatively low wage job and even compared to something paying a decent wage just isn't worth it once you subtract the cost of daycare. With schools suddenly closing that can make it impossible for someone who is otherwise able to work to do so.

Even a lot of my coworkers who already worked remotely much of the time are having more trouble now focusing as their kids are home all the time. For many grandparents have been the default babysitters but now that's exactly not what we want happening.
 

Offline Red Squirrel

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #28 on: April 12, 2020, 09:23:17 pm »
Sorry for your loss.

These are really sad times to go through this as family can't really get together to mourn, or when someone does fall terminally ill you can't really be with them either until they pass.  Makes it that much harder.
 

Offline richard.cs

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #29 on: April 13, 2020, 01:08:03 pm »
This is precisely why Switzerland officially did not close schools per se, but rather canceled classes but (supposedly)* still allowed kids whose parents have to work to go to school somehow and just work in isolation: they expressly did not want grandparents taking care of kids instead.

Here the official advice is not to send children to their grandparents, and for most people I know that's working out OK as at least one parent is working from home anyway. There are people unable to work because of it though and in some cases they're having to take unpaid leave. I imagine there are a significant number of children with grandparents out of financial necessity. Schools here are staying open with a low staffing level to provide daycare to the children of "key workers" (medical staff, critical supply chain, etc.) only who would otherwise be unable to work.

@Stray Electron, my condolences. I would echo tggzzz's point here - someone needs to keep a good eye on that 14 year old, feelings of guilt over something like that can be pretty devastating at that age.
 

Online Mechatrommer

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #30 on: April 13, 2020, 03:59:18 pm »
my condolences to the world that human made it in the wrong direction imho. one of it is where grandparents have to take care of the grandchildren. i was raised by my parents with very little intervention from their parent, so i will strive to do the same to my kids, even though we went the same direction like everyone else of "both parent" working condition. this is very small and peaceful town so its easy to take care of them sending to schools buying foods etc. everything is 5 minutes drive. and we are lucky to have those good and trustworthy immigrants who can work as babysitter for small amount of money. it hurt me when seeing parents have to do this, sending kids to their grandparents, their hardwork is enough raising us it should be the time to pay them back by taking care of them in return, not to give more burden. my condolences to the OP too but one man/woman gone is for another millions' lesson. we can take lesson from this covid situation or, we can curse, its our choice. its us who made it happened, not anything else imho.
It's extremely difficult to start life.. one features of nature.. physical laws are mathematical theory of great beauty... You may wonder Why? our knowledge shows that nature is so constructed. We simply have to accept it. One could describe the situation by saying that... (Paul Dirac)
 

Offline HobGoblyn

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Re: Just lost a family member to Covid19
« Reply #31 on: April 13, 2020, 09:58:38 pm »
 Very sorry to hear, my condolences.

One of my wife’s elderly clients has lost two nephews and another two are in intensive care, all to Covid 19.  All in their 60s, don’t think they had underlying health issues,  I do wonder in this case whether something genetic might be making her family more prone to it, it could simply be bad luck.
 


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