Ohm humor

[T3sl4co1l]

Spotted on SED:

"Clifford Heath" wrote:
> On 07/03/17 16:33, oldschool@tubes.com wrote:
> Has anyone ever been arrested for violating Ohms Law? 
> Who enforced it anyhow.... The Ohm Police Dept? <LOL>

It's a local ordinance... only upheld by the Ohm Owner's Association.

"tom" wrote:
<dagmargoodboat@yahoo.com> wrote:
> On Tuesday, March 7, 2017 at 4:59:35 AM UTC-5, piglet wrote:
>> On 07/03/2017 05:33, oldschool@tubes.com wrote:
>>> Has anyone ever been arrested for violating Ohms Law? 
>>>
>>> Who enforced it anyhow.... The Ohm Police Dept? <LOL>
>>
>> There is a dangerous outlaw on the run - he robbed Miss Milly Henry of
>> her joules. When the cops find him he'll be charged.
>
> How awful!
>
> Did Miss Henry offer the joule thief any resistance?

He was charged with battery.

Tim

[rsjsouza]

Ohm my God... I got a good laugh out of it. Thanks!
 

[calexanian]

Engineering dad joke?

[Tomorokoshi]

I don't get it.

[Tomorokoshi]

I gauss I'm lagging.

[cheeseit]

I don't get it.

Watt?

[Tomorokoshi]

My maxwell is a little light. I was expecting it to be more on the heaviside.

[Ian.M]

Electrical humour is almost invariably reVoltingly bad.

[GreyWoolfe]

Electrical humour s almost invariably reVoltingly bad.

And apparently not even Current.

[Ian.M]

Yes, it will face a lot of Resistance.

[innkeeper]

(original author unknown)

by Eddy Current

One night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try and get a cute little joule to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across Wheatstone Bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing current. Micro Farad, attracted by the characteristic curves of Millie, soon had his resistance at a minimum, and his field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. He inserted it into her socket, connecting them in series, and began to short circuit her shunt. However, he forgot one basic rule: never flux without a weber!!

Fully excited, Millie Amp said, "Mho, Mho, give me Mho !" With his tube operating at maximum peak and her coil vibrating from the current flow, she soon reached her breakdown voltage. The excess current flow had gotten her so hot that Micro Farad was rapidly discharged and drained of every electron.

They fluxed all night, trying various connections and sockets until his bar magnet had lost all of its field strength. Afterwards, Millie Amp tried self induction, and damaged her solenoid. With his battery fully drained, Micro Farad was unable to excite his generator so they ended up reversing polarity and blowing each other's fuses.

WATT A NIGHT ! ! !

[T3sl4co1l]

Was wondering how long until someone posted that

[rrinker]

 I so wish I could find the original that got handed out over 30 years ago when I was in college, having to deal with the sex life of a subroutine. You can find a version via Google but every one I find is nothing at all like the one my professor (yes) handed out in class all those years ago.
 There was also a Star Wars parody involving the staff at the computing center and the equipment.

[xrunner]

This humor is shocking!

[Ducttape]

I'm pretty sure that violations of Ohm's Law are under the jurisdiction of the Department of Ohmland Security.

[xrunner]

I'm pretty sure that violations of Ohm's Law are under the jurisdiction of the Department of Ohmland Security.

It is Currently under their jurisdiction now, but the situation needs to be Rectified and moved the the department of Energy, but there is much Resistance to that as the proponents do not have the Power to do it!

[T3sl4co1l]

I so wish I could find the original that got handed out over 30 years ago when I was in college, having to deal with the sex life of a subroutine. You can find a version via Google but every one I find is nothing at all like the one my professor (yes) handed out in class all those years ago.
 There was also a Star Wars parody involving the staff at the computing center and the equipment.

Something about a sign extend (SEX) instruction?

Tim

[Cerebus]

If you violate Ohm's Law, do they drain you of all your Siemens?

[xrunner]

If you violate Ohm's Law, do they drain you of all your Siemens?

Possibly; can you give me mho information?

[Red Squirrel]

Q: Why were the transistors stripped of their medals at the olympics?

A: Because they were doped.

[rrinker]

I so wish I could find the original that got handed out over 30 years ago when I was in college, having to deal with the sex life of a subroutine. You can find a version via Google but every one I find is nothing at all like the one my professor (yes) handed out in class all those years ago.
 There was also a Star Wars parody involving the staff at the computing center and the equipment.

Something about a sign extend (SEX) instruction?

Tim

 It was very FORTRAN-centric (since that was what the class was).

But - my first computer has the RCA CDP1802 CPU and it indeed has a SEX instruction (SEt X register which is the index for indirect operations - any of the 16 registers can be designated as the X register (or P - program counter). Alas the opcode is not 69. 69 is input from port 1.

[Cubdriver]

Saw this way back in high school - the Ten Commandments for Electronic Technicians:

1) Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.

2) Causeth thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears be long.

3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they raise thee and causeth thou to act as a radiator, too.

4) Tarry not amongst those who engageth in intentional shocks, for surely they are non-believers and not long for this world.

5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measure of a high tension circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter.

6) Take care that thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, lest thee incureth the wrath of thy supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thine head and shoulders.

7) Workest thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow, and console her in other ways.

8 ) Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou wilst sizzle in thine own juices for an extended period until thy Maker sees fit to intercede and end thy misery.

9) Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow like unto a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.

10) Thou shalt not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.

[palindrom71]

Had to

[Melt-O-Tronic]

My maxwell is a little light. I was expecting it to be more on the heaviside.

Pardon my admittance, but I don't think it took much to coax that out of you.

[ynfo]

 

[Kalvin]

But - my first computer has the RCA CDP1802 CPU and it indeed has a SEX instruction (SEt X register which is the index for indirect operations - any of the 16 registers can be designated as the X register (or P - program counter). Alas the opcode is not 69. 69 is input from port 1.

My first computer was also RCA CDP1802-based Telmac 1800 - beautiful CPU architecture and easy to learn assembly. Assembly programming has been going downhill ever since.

Edit: Fixed the idiom: https://www.waywordradio.org/going-downhill/

[grifftech]

how did you do that?

[alexanderbrevig]

IC watt mu dither
Had no real micro/mu symbol here

[GreyWoolfe]

All your resistance are belong to us.

[T3sl4co1l]

how did you do that?

It's a photoshop, a pretty old and not very good one at that.

Tim