Author Topic: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020  (Read 21921 times)

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Online BU508ATopic starter

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The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« on: January 24, 2020, 10:40:56 pm »
Hello,

years ago Dave wrote a book about internet dating:
https://www.artofinternetdating.com/

Money quote:
"Though this eBook speaks of affairs of the heart it is addressed to your brain. This is a practical guide for searching, finding, evaluating and winning the mate of your dreams."

Dave brings some light in the more technically aspects of internet dating, e.g. how to use social media etc.

Now I was pointed to this article by a german blogger (Fefe, https://blog.fefe.de/ )
https://quillette.com/2020/01/16/all-the-single-ladies/

I have now the impression that in addition to the technical skills you have to have in mind some other parameters:
education and income.

Money quote:
"In other words, all other things equal, a man with a master’s degree is about twice as likely to get a match than a man with a bachelor’s degree. Perhaps something to keep in mind, if you are interested in obtaining a graduate degree and are active on Tinder."

The pattern in respect to the income is similar.
Money quote:
"Some women do marry men with less education, though. These women tend to marry men who earn more than them. A study by Yue Qian, a sociologist at the University of British Columbia, found that women who had more education than their spouses were 93 percent more likely to be married to men with higher incomes than themselves."

What do you think? What are your experiences in this respect? Can you agree with the findings of those researchers?

Best regards,

Mounty
“Chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organized.”            - Terry Pratchett -
 

Offline Stray Electron

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2020, 01:23:06 am »
 Never internet dated but my wife has more education than I do. And my daughter has more education than her hubby, so I would say that that part is often true.  My advice, always marry someone better then yourself.
 

Offline nctnico

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2020, 01:35:07 am »
My advice, always marry someone better then yourself.
I'd put that differently: marry someone who isn't (going to become) a burden. But then again love makes blind and stupid.
There are small lies, big lies and then there is what is on the screen of your oscilloscope.
 

Offline Gregg

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2020, 02:58:08 am »
My advice is:
If you are not an only child, never marry someone that is an only child.
 

Offline Stray Electron

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2020, 03:05:01 am »
My advice is:
If you are not an only child, never marry someone that is an only child.

   That sounds like there is an interesting story behind that statement!
 
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Offline Gregg

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2020, 03:14:03 am »
My advice is:
If you are not an only child, never marry someone that is an only child.

   That sounds like there is an interesting story behind that statement!
There is more than one interesting story; but I'll leave them up to your imagination.  Maybe I should write a book under a pseudo-name to protect me from possible outrage.
 

Online magic

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2020, 10:59:21 am »
I think it's all because of systemic patriarchy and social expectations. We need more high profile women role models like actresses, CEOs or politicians marrying coal miners, fishermen or even the homeless, in order to fight the stigma and show young educated women that they have worth of their own, independent of the "prestige" of their husband :-+
 
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Offline bd139

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2020, 11:18:02 am »
The happiest marriages are the perpetually unemployed hopeless idiots because the interest is in the person. If someone is attracted to you because of security be that wealth, employment or education then if any of those change then consider your worth to the person then. The human condition is extremely variable and people are fickle. Even the luckiest of us can fall a long way.  As with all things in life, you don't know who your friends and family are until you need them and then lots of people, even in your immediate family will scurry away. I've seen it happen to lots of people. I've seen it happen to myself.

Also if you're in the UK, don't get married. In fact marriage is one of the most ridiculous traditions in this day and age. It is basically legal servitude now from some middle age ideology.

Going back to dating, be a bastard with a motorbike. It works  :-DD

@magic: no we don't; we just need less wankers of both genders.
 
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Online Circlotron

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #8 on: January 25, 2020, 12:27:26 pm »
I have a policy of never entering into a contractual business arrangement with someone who simply lives with a partner instead of getting married. To me, it indicates their attitude toward sticking with agreements; wanting an easy way out if things don’t go their way.
 
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Offline bd139

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #9 on: January 25, 2020, 12:51:24 pm »
That's completely illogical as the contract between you and them defines the relationship, not the one between their partner and them  :palm:. I wouldn't want to work for you either.

Marriage is the sort of contract that would end up under The Unfair Contract Terms Act here in the UK...
 
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Offline jancumps

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2020, 12:52:54 pm »
I have a policy of never entering into a contractual business arrangement with someone who simply lives with a partner instead of getting married. To me, it indicates their attitude toward sticking with agreements; wanting an easy way out if things don’t go their way.
   That sounds like there is an interesting story behind that statement!
 

Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #11 on: January 25, 2020, 01:06:45 pm »
Never internet dated but my wife has more education than I do. And my daughter has more education than her hubby, so I would say that that part is often true.  My advice, always marry someone better then yourself.

Nor have I, but younger fellows I talk to at work report that pretty much it is a cess pool in my part of the world. Self righteous, entitled little tramps inhabit those internet dating sites.

I suspect that TV and facebook has a lot to do with an erosion of good manners towards young men who have not had the same academic privilege.

 :--
iratus parum formica
 
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Offline SilverSolder

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #12 on: January 25, 2020, 03:03:30 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!
 

Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #13 on: January 25, 2020, 09:00:04 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   











Try the local morgue.

 ;)

iratus parum formica
 
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Offline Ice-Tea

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #14 on: January 25, 2020, 09:05:47 pm »
 
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Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2020, 09:33:59 pm »
iratus parum formica
 

Offline SilverSolder

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #16 on: January 25, 2020, 09:40:16 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   


Try the local morgue.

 ;)

I prefer "hot", and "trouble" !   :-DD
 
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Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #17 on: January 25, 2020, 09:44:24 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   


Try the local morgue.

 ;)

I prefer "hot", and "trouble" !   :-DD

What's not to like?

No risk of accidental pregnancy.
No need to rent a hotel room.
A different woman every night. Or a man if, you know, you're on the fence.   ;)



 8)

iratus parum formica
 

Offline SilverSolder

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #18 on: January 25, 2020, 09:52:30 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   


Try the local morgue.

 ;)

I prefer "hot", and "trouble" !   :-DD

What's not to like?

No risk of accidental pregnancy.
No need to rent a hotel room.
A different woman every night. Or a man if, you know, you're on the fence.   ;)



 8)

Necrophilia is a dead end.
 
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Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #19 on: January 25, 2020, 09:58:58 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   


Try the local morgue.

 ;)

I prefer "hot", and "trouble" !   :-DD

What's not to like?

No risk of accidental pregnancy.
No need to rent a hotel room.
A different woman every night. Or a man if, you know, you're on the fence.   ;)



 8)

Necrophilia is a dead end.

It's a morbid topic, sure. But the best thing is you can 'finish' when you want. And where you want.

iratus parum formica
 

Offline Ed.Kloonk

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iratus parum formica
 

Offline floobydust

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #21 on: January 25, 2020, 11:00:04 pm »
Researchers finds people have completely unrealistic expectations of the dating pool.
If you want "facial attractiveness", discount 90% of people out there. If you want a "kind personality" discount 80% more.
Out of a room of 100 eligibles, as an example: women want a tall guy, 6' or over - poof 80% of guys are out, and you're down to 20 guys. Of those 20 guys, you want attractive, educated etc. and easily down to 1-2 guys that meet their criterion. It's even down to 1 in 1,000 or 1 in 10,000 if you want the top Chad's. So, women are pretty demanding yet bitter and... alone with their cats.

scans from "The Science of Happily Ever After" book by psychologist Ty Tashiro.
 
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Offline Stray Electron

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #22 on: January 25, 2020, 11:07:01 pm »

I've always found the best ladies in ordinary situations...  the supermarket,  library, walking in the park, etc. - never bothered to go looking for them, they are everywhere if you open your eyes!

If you really want bulk store of cool women that give absolutely no trouble,   


Try the local morgue.

 ;)

   They were too cold for me but hey, whatever floats your boat.
 
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Offline VK3DRB

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #23 on: January 26, 2020, 12:44:20 am »
Most of the young people in the mobile phone generation have fewer social skills than those who grew up in a more balanced society, so they have to resort to the Internet to find a spouse. I know a woman who has only met social misfits and weirdos on the Internet dating sites. If young people don't volunteer, get involved with clubs, church, university social gatherings, or even go to the local pub or discotheque, their chances of meeting a decent partner are somewhat limited.
 

Offline james_s

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Re: The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
« Reply #24 on: January 26, 2020, 12:55:57 am »
I have a policy of never entering into a contractual business arrangement with someone who simply lives with a partner instead of getting married. To me, it indicates their attitude toward sticking with agreements; wanting an easy way out if things don’t go their way.

That makes no sense at all. Something like 50% of marriages end in divorce, often after just a few years. The entire affair has been turned into a joke, people have a HUGELY expensive party because society has conditioned them to expect that and then reality sets in. My partner and I chose not to get married because neither of us saw any real advantage to getting the government involved in our relationship. She had been married before and I was nearly married at one point, glad I dodged that bullet. Roughly 10 years later we're still a happy couple which is more than I can say for many marriages, I have friends who have been married and divorced in that period, one has been married and divorced twice. Neither of us has any desire to have kids, neither of us are religious, neither of us could think of any good reason to go through the motions.

A business contract is a different matter. I don't have to be romantically interested in my business partner, I don't have to be attracted to them or concern myself with whether they find me attractive. I don't have to live with them, I don't have to hang out with them outside of work and I don't even have to particularly like them as long as we can agree on the business aspect. Being married to the wrong person can make your life a living hell worse than being alone. Being in business with someone who drives you nuts is not the end of the world, it's only work at the end of the day you can go home and have your personal life. I see *zero* reason to assume any correlation between whether a person is legally married and how likely they are to bail out of a contract however if you can find a study that shows a clear relationship I'm certainly willing to alter my view. 
 


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