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The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
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SilverSolder:

--- Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on February 16, 2020, 11:39:46 pm ---For those who missed out over Valentines day, remember, Hitler had a girlfriend.

What about one that's ready to settle down?
She's out there, gentlemen..



--- End quote ---

Hooking up with someone that has children can work well if both parties have children -  then, the burdens are more fairly distributed and there is something in it for everyone.
james_s:
Or if you're old enough that the children are already grown and moved out. I never had any interest in being the dad of some other guy's kids, but then I never had any interest in being a dad in the first place. At one point years ago I dated a girl who had a daughter and it definitely was not my thing. Her kid was not particularly well behaved but I couldn't really say anything on the matter. Her creepy ex who was the kid's dad was naturally involved too, once someone has a kid with someone they are kinda tied together forever in one way or another and can't really make a clean break.
peter-h:
I was in a relationship many years ago with a girl who had 2 kids. It was sort of ok but really she was looking for someone to bankroll the whole thing. I got out when she started pressing hard for marriage. Telltale signs included pressure for me to sell my (really nice) house and buy one jointly with her; given the large disparity in assets, a very astute move on her part, had I gone for it.

All relationships involve a quid pro quo; both parties have to get good stuff out of it.

All also involve a "power balance" so e.g. a "doormat" woman (an english phrase) who blindly obeys her man is likely getting some other payoff e.g. she has a lot of "freedom" outside the house, and the control she has is that the man depends on her for all his food :)

That video about single mums is hilarious, but frankly if you are looking at a single mum of 25 who has 5 kids, if the alarm bells in your head aren't ringing, you need to look in the mirror :)

Couples with children invariably follow a different path in life. They mix with different people for a start. Most people, when they start a family, dump friends who don't have kids. It just happens... People with no kids have a lot more money and time spare and have a lot more adventures, travel more, meet more people, etc. They are also a lot less tired. When you have kids, the mum is usually knackered for 10-15 years, and the man is knackered because he is stuck working all the hours to pay for it. Obviously their relationship will stretch to breaking point; often past it. But kids are fun... until they get into teenagers and then they are usually hell, for a number of years.

So in my view the decision is 50/50 which way you go. You will follow two very different paths.

If you like to have time to yourself, getting together with a single mum is unlikely to work.

Yes indeed the ex is always going to be "around" but the story always has two parts. The (absent) father may be poking his head in regularly, but his ex wife has likely been poisoning the kids against him the whole time and frustratingly there is nothing he can do about it.
Circlotron:

--- Quote from: peter-h on February 19, 2020, 09:10:20 pm ---All relationships involve a quid pro quo; both parties have to get good stuff out of it.

--- End quote ---
Preferably as a consequence of both parties being prepared to put good stuff into it.
SilverSolder:

--- Quote from: Circlotron on February 19, 2020, 10:38:19 pm ---
--- Quote from: peter-h on February 19, 2020, 09:10:20 pm ---All relationships involve a quid pro quo; both parties have to get good stuff out of it.

--- End quote ---
Preferably as a consequence of both parties being prepared to put good stuff into it.

--- End quote ---

That's the only way any relationship will ever work...
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