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The art of (internet) dating - year 2020

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SilverSolder:

--- Quote from: duckduck on June 02, 2021, 11:20:37 pm ---I found internet dating to be a lot of work. For every 10 women that replied, I would get one date, for every 10 first dates, I would get a second date, etc. I met some interesting women. It was like being on a roller coaster that crashes more often than it comes back safe. Terrifying, but lots of fun, too. I stuck with it and found a wonderful woman. We've got a lovely child.

--- End quote ---

It's like that in the physical world too - you rarely meet the "right" person the first date...

Ed.Kloonk:
For those into numbers and interested in playing the numbers game..

https://www.amazon.com/Book-Numbers-Analyzing-Pursuit-Women-ebook/dp/B08PTFKLP6/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8

Review here:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/56186117-the-book-of-numbers

alpher:
Jeez , cant believe the ammount of BS in this thread, I've been married twice, went out with  more girls than most >:D .
You just have to use your upper brain, that's all.

CatalinaWOW:
I haven't read all the pages here, and haven't ever dated on the internet, but can't believe that it is really any different than any other way of meeting people after the first date or two.  Opens up a bigger field but all of the fakery and weirdness was there all along.

I will offer the following observations from several decades of participating and watching the process.  There isn't anything profound here, but if the simple stuff works, more is possible.

1.  Looks, intelligence, money, style and manners and any others you personally care about are all desirable attributes in both sexes.  Those who score high in all of them are universally desirable.  Those not so lucky need to be realistic in their aspirations.  Men and woman prioritize these attributes somewhat differently, but the differences aren't as big as popular wisdom would have it.  The most important thing is understanding and being willing to own your own priorities in this area.  Not fair to pick beauty over intelligence and then complain about the lack of brains.

2.  There is an old aphorism about fishing for trout in a mackerel barrel.  Lots of wisdom there.  Even if two people are well matched on looks etc., if one grew up in a farm household and the other in an urban high rise the odds of long term compatibility are much lower.  Same thing for a child of wealth and one from a modest background and many other social differences.  Thinking about this can also direct where and when you search for potential mates.

3.  Both men and women are sure they can correct the flaws in their mates.  They are seldom right.  Decide early if you can live with the flaws you identify.  This decision is tough to make objectively so put a lot of thought and attention into it.  It is a read flag when you say "This is bad, but.."  Later, when one of those flaws is annoying you, remind yourself of your decision.  It should only be changed after a lot of soul searching.
 
Listen carefully for flaws in yourself as seen by a candidate mate.  If it isn't obvious that the other person is making the same kind of decision described in the previous paragraph the only option is for you to change yourself.  If you aren't really serious about changing yourself in that area you can save a lot of pain for both of you by bailing early.

4.  It is really hard to find out what someone else is like when you are talking.  Find a way to listen.

james_s:

--- Quote from: SilverSolder on June 02, 2021, 10:53:37 pm ---
--- Quote from: Charlzer on June 02, 2021, 10:25:03 pm ---Hmmm... I think that people should marry those who have the same status as them, have the same education, principles, values and financial situation.

--- End quote ---

Against that...  opposites attract?

--- End quote ---

First post, dredging up a thread that hasn't had any action in over a year, a bunch of words vaguely related to the topic without really saying anything. I'm betting their next post will be a spam link.

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