General > General Technical Chat
The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
Deodand2014:
--- Quote from: VK3DRB on January 26, 2020, 12:44:20 am ---Most of the young people in the mobile phone generation have fewer social skills than those who grew up in a more balanced society, so they have to resort to the Internet to find a spouse. I know a woman who has only met social misfits and weirdos on the Internet dating sites. If young people don't volunteer, get involved with clubs, church, university social gatherings, or even go to the local pub or discotheque, their chances of meeting a decent partner are somewhat limited.
--- End quote ---
And once politics enters the mix it becomes impossible...
--- Quote ---Not wanting to date "woke" women, far from being laughable, is actually one of the more insidious aspects of it.
--- End quote ---
https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/2020/01/9244509/laurence-fox-anti-woke-meaning
james_s:
--- Quote from: VK3DRB on January 26, 2020, 12:44:20 am ---Most of the young people in the mobile phone generation have fewer social skills than those who grew up in a more balanced society, so they have to resort to the Internet to find a spouse. I know a woman who has only met social misfits and weirdos on the Internet dating sites. If young people don't volunteer, get involved with clubs, church, university social gatherings, or even go to the local pub or discotheque, their chances of meeting a decent partner are somewhat limited.
--- End quote ---
I think that's a rather warped impression.
People in the mobile generation grew up with that communication medium being an integral part of society, they never lived in a world without the internet and communicating online is a natural part of their lives. It's not a matter of "resorting to the internet", rather they are already socializing on the internet, they are already interacting and meeting new people, "online" is a seamless part of society these days, it's only natural that some will form romantic relationships with people they met in this way.
I know a woman that has only met social misfits and weirdos in the "real world" so what's your point? The sort of people one meets is more often down to the sort of traits they are attracted to and the way that they present themselves. The internet is no different than anywhere else, it's a method of communication, nothing more. It's not 1998 anymore, the internet is not dominated by geeks and weirdos, everyone is using it now. Volunteering, clubs, church, university, social gatherings, all those things you mention are still around, although most also have an online presence. I'm not really a user of traditional social media but if you can hold your nose and hop onto Facebook you'll find countless groups for all of these things. No longer are we limited to the dating pool available in whatever little town we live in or reliant on going away to school in the big city to meet a partner, people can meet and interact with people all over the world. Romance aside, the internet has enabled me to meet loads of friends who share my interests, some of the more unusual ones I thought for a long time I was the only one.
Frankly, and I mean no disrespect and am not exactly young myself, but this sounds like a classic example of an older generation not understanding the younger generations and the evolutions in society that have taken place, lamenting these young whippersnappers and their newfangled technology, slang, music and everything else that is not as good as things were back in their day when life was hard and they walked 20 miles through the snow up-hill both ways to get to school. This cycle is as old as time, in a handful of decades the people who are coming of age now are going to be moaning about all the silly stuff kids are doing and how much worse everything is just like the older generations are doing today.
edy:
This is a complex issue. My 2 cents worth... Dating is extremely difficult and sometimes having so many options is bad. Many cultures have different approaches, but couples must realize that you don't just get married and stop there. The person you marry when you are 20 will be different (and so will you) when you are 30, 40, 50 and so on. It is a journey with many ups and downs and your life partner and you have to work together.
I find that the person to do this with is someone who complements you, builds on your weaknesses and your strengths build on theirs. Opposites attract but then again common interests also do. It helps when you can navigate this complexity of mental, skill and personality traits and find the right match (which doesn't always mean same but match as in complementary) factors. Again, finding a mate is not simply based on "computational matching" by some algorithm on a dating site. I don't believe that in a second.
You can argue the visual attraction bit, but then people say love is blind. It is complicated... but last thing I must add is that if you really want to know, look around at those old folks with 50+ year anniversaries and see if they have any gems to share. It could also be "survivor bias" and that it really is impossible to know for sure at the outset. Like I said... complicated!!!
Ed.Kloonk:
--- Quote from: james_s on January 26, 2020, 01:12:31 am ---
--- Quote from: VK3DRB on January 26, 2020, 12:44:20 am ---Most of the young people in the mobile phone generation have fewer social skills than those who grew up in a more balanced society, so they have to resort to the Internet to find a spouse. I know a woman who has only met social misfits and weirdos on the Internet dating sites. If young people don't volunteer, get involved with clubs, church, university social gatherings, or even go to the local pub or discotheque, their chances of meeting a decent partner are somewhat limited.
--- End quote ---
I think that's a rather warped impression.
People in the mobile generation grew up with that communication medium being an integral part of society, they never lived in a world without the internet and communicating online is a natural part of their lives. It's not a matter of "resorting to the internet", rather they are already socializing on the internet, they are already interacting and meeting new people, "online" is a seamless part of society these days, it's only natural that some will form romantic relationships with people they met in this way.
I know a woman that has only met social misfits and weirdos in the "real world" so what's your point? The sort of people one meets is more often down to the sort of traits they are attracted to and the way that they present themselves. The internet is no different than anywhere else, it's a method of communication, nothing more. It's not 1998 anymore, the internet is not dominated by geeks and weirdos, everyone is using it now. Volunteering, clubs, church, university, social gatherings, all those things you mention are still around, although most also have an online presence. I'm not really a user of traditional social media but if you can hold your nose and hop onto Facebook you'll find countless groups for all of these things. No longer are we limited to the dating pool available in whatever little town we live in or reliant on going away to school in the big city to meet a partner, people can meet and interact with people all over the world. Romance aside, the internet has enabled me to meet loads of friends who share my interests, some of the more unusual ones I thought for a long time I was the only one.
Frankly, and I mean no disrespect and am not exactly young myself, but this sounds like a classic example of an older generation not understanding the younger generations and the evolutions in society that have taken place, lamenting these young whippersnappers and their newfangled technology, slang, music and everything else that is not as good as things were back in their day when life was hard and they walked 20 miles through the snow up-hill both ways to get to school. This cycle is as old as time, in a handful of decades the people who are coming of age now are going to be moaning about all the silly stuff kids are doing and how much worse everything is just like the older generations are doing today.
--- End quote ---
The rhetoric spread though media that women consume often asks the question "Where have all the good men gone?"
You're saying that like never before like-minded people can hook up (both literary and metaphorically), and yet, here we are.
Ed.Kloonk:
--- Quote from: edy on January 26, 2020, 02:05:04 am ---This is a complex issue. My 2 cents worth... Dating is extremely difficult and sometimes having so many options is bad. Many cultures have different approaches, but couples must realize that you don't just get married and stop there. The person you marry when you are 20 will be different (and so will you) when you are 30, 40, 50 and so on. It is a journey with many ups and downs and your life partner and you have to work together.
I find that the person to do this with is someone who complements you, builds on your weaknesses and your strengths build on theirs. Opposites attract but then again common interests also do. It helps when you can navigate this complexity of mental, skill and personality traits and find the right match (which doesn't always mean same but match as in complementary) factors. Again, finding a mate is not simply based on "computational matching" by some algorithm on a dating site. I don't believe that in a second.
You can argue the visual attraction bit, but then people say love is blind. It is complicated... but last thing I must add is that if you really want to know, look around at those old folks with 50+ year anniversaries and see if they have any gems to share. It could also be "survivor bias" and that it really is impossible to know for sure at the outset. Like I said... complicated!!!
--- End quote ---
Not really. Those with 50+ years of marriage are likely to be victims of shotgun marriages. The baby came along and you had no time to sit around in front of the TV that tells you how much you should hate your spouse.
Ask any middle aged married man if the woman he married is the same as the woman he dated. Then ask that woman if her man has changed at all.
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