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The art of (internet) dating - year 2020
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Zero999:

--- Quote from: SilverSolder on January 26, 2020, 04:18:57 pm ---Everyone has different dreams/goals for what they want to achieve, and what they see themselves as happy with. 

Things get really difficult if your dreams far outstrips your talents/capability to ever achieve (or even work towards) achieving them.

Things get even worse if you do have some talent/ability, but choose not to use it for whatever reason (usually, by being too clever by half and always trying to find shortcuts rather than putting in hard effort or even sustained light effort).
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I agree with you about the first point, but why is having a talent/ability but choosing not to use it such a big deal? No doubt many people have above average abilities in many things, but choose not to use them, because they lack interest or have other priorities. Someone might be very good at maths and would make a great engineer, but don't want to study it further, because they're more interested in sport and socialising and aren't bothered about earning lots of money. They might not be great at sports, so end up working in a sport shop and be very happy there.


--- Quote from: SilverSolder on January 26, 2020, 07:12:06 pm ---
--- Quote from: jancumps on January 26, 2020, 04:32:09 pm ---
--- Quote from: SilverSolder on January 26, 2020, 04:18:57 pm ---....
We are mammals - the motivation to do dating is baked into the ROM.
...

--- End quote ---

Much much more than we dare to accept from ourselves, I suspect.

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Procreating the species is fundamental to all life... 
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Tell that to gay people.
Stray Electron:

--- Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on January 26, 2020, 02:05:24 am ---
The rhetoric spread though media that women consume often asks the question "Where have all the good men gone?"

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  First, I think that the women's magazines and TV shows feed that type mentality. Second, I've seen a hell of lot of women/girls fall for guys that were worthless hulks then after they get fed up with them they bail out of the relationship and then sit around and complain that there are no good men. There were, and still are, plenty of good men but they don't all happen to look like Burt Reynolds.  My sister fits this description to a T. She's been married to flashy guys three times and none of them lasted and now she's rapidly becoming a bitter old spinster that no one can stand to be around.
james_s:

--- Quote from: Zero999 on January 26, 2020, 08:29:58 pm ---
--- Quote from: SilverSolder on January 26, 2020, 04:18:57 pm ---Procreating the species is fundamental to all life... 
--- End quote ---
Tell that to gay people.

--- End quote ---


Procreating the species is fundamental to all life, but that doesn't mean that all members of a species have to procreate. It's possible to have a situation like we humans now have, there are more than enough of us already and not everyone's efforts are best spent procreating.

Gay people (and other species) are an anomaly, for whatever reasons a small percentage of the population ends up gay, it's not contagious and for the most part it doesn't lead to breeding so I strongly suspect the percentage has remained fairly constant throughout history and will continue to remain fairly constant. If a majority of people were gay then we'd have issues but in reality it's way, way below the threshold at which it would threaten survival of the species. 
floobydust:
The reproductive agenda is so strong, I see women panic and pick a guy "who'll do" for having kids with and years later they are in hell because that match is terrible.
Relationships have left people as burn victims, especially after making a bad choice for a partner or going through divorce. The dating apps/websites have resulted in a "hookup culture" where you don't really need a relationship to get the benefits.
The women I know looking for love and dating (after having kids, divorce etc), they complain men only want something casual and that they have a harem. They make the rounds, and any friction and a gal gets easily dumped. There is nothing for commitment, it's not needed it seems.


SilverSolder:

--- Quote from: floobydust on January 26, 2020, 08:41:37 pm ---[...]
The women I know looking for love and dating (after having kids, divorce etc), they complain men only want something casual and that they have a harem. They make the rounds, and any friction and a gal gets easily dumped. There is nothing for commitment, it's not needed it seems.

--- End quote ---

People need to be clear with themselves about which type of relationship they are looking for...   if it is the long term kind,  it really takes two people that already know how that kind of relationship works to find each other.  And by the nature of the long term relationship, most people who are capable of having them...  are already in one!   There really is no substitute for time, when it comes to a longer term relationship...   it is almost implicit in what it is.   There are probably no shortcuts, other than picking decent partners in the first place - partners that at least have a chance to stand the test of time.
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