The EE joke collection

[metalphreak]

Knock Knock.

Who's There?

......                                                                           (TBC)

[Mechatrommer]

a friend ask me, "whats camera you have?". i said "5d, it can do video". he said "oh thats an older camera, there's newer camera, it can make coffe"

[Richard W.]

http://www.classictek.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=62:tektronix-wizards-witches-and-cartoons&catid=87:tektronix-engineering-humor&Itemid=80

 

http://classictek.org/images/stories/Articles/assorted_material/Scope_Cleaning.pdf

page 2, right collumn, line 12 (till now I've never thought about storing my oscilloscope in an oven...)

the last page is also, err... interesting  

[tekfan]

the last page is also, err... interesting 

Kind of like: http://www.amplifier.cd/Test_Equipment/Tektronix/Tektronix_7000_series_mainframe/rep-und-kal-7633/7633_Badewanne.jpg



Exotic parts you've always been hunting for but never could source:

Exorbitant sounding transistor with adjustable hfe
The alike looking type S with adjustable bias never got into production


Unknown prototype of lead spacing adjustable capacitors


Also this well kept secret, the never needed prototype of a wattage adjustable trimmer with integrated smokeabsorber

[st1]

Arguing with an engineer is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a few hours, you realize that he likes it.

[metalphreak]

Knock Knock.

Who's There?

......                                                                           (TBC)

4 Posts and a considerable time later......


..... Java

[Kiriakos-GR]

I have something funny to share and its real, with proofs ..  

Check the address of this German Agilent division ..
and specifically the street name .  

http://www.chemeurope.com/en/companies/6336/agilent-technologies-sales-services-gmbh-co-kg.html

 

[metalphreak]

I have something funny to share and its real, with proofs ..  

Check the address of this German Agilent division ..
and specifically the street name .  

http://www.chemeurope.com/en/companies/6336/agilent-technologies-sales-services-gmbh-co-kg.html

 

Doesn't HP own Agilent? Or was it Agilent bought HP's electrical testing division?

[baljemmett]

Doesn't HP own Agilent? Or was it Agilent bought HP's electrical testing division?

HP decided to concentrate on computing around the turn of the century; everything else (test and measurement, semiconductors, medical / scientific, etc.) got spun off into a new and independent company, which is Agilent.  A few years after that Agilent in turn sold off their semiconductor and optoelectronic division, which is now Avago -- or so I gather after thinking the Avago displays and datasheets I was looking at last week were suspiciously HP-like!

[lowimpedance]

Dave  and others

You know those tin foil hats you wear to stop the government controlling your brain - take them off immediately.

The scientific study (link below) from MIT demonstrates that the hats actually AMPLIFY those sections of the frequency spectrum reserved for government use.  You may actually be helping the government with their mind control.

Read this straight away:

> http://berkeley.intel-research.net/arahimi/helmet/


There is of course a rebuttal from those so paranoid they are even paranoid about other paranoids.  I'll leave you to decide:

http://zapatopi.net/blog/?post=200511112730.afdb_effectiveness

[McMonster]

I found this a very long time ago. And I still laugh.

This story was told by people from Motorola and is supposedly included in every microcontroller training course Motorola gives.

Test flights of F-16's were being conducted in Israel. The F-16's were doing low height rounds. On approach to the Dead Sea, the whole navigation system suddenly reset itself. The daring pilot landed the bird. HQ called up Motorola and ordered a team on the spot ASAP. The ground tests went perfectly, but every time the bird went airborn, it rebooted.

The pilots were getting restless. Flying on the border of hostile territory without navcom, with the Arabs pointing their earth-to-air missiles at anything that moves, wasn't that pleasant. Neither was debugging the whole navcom in-flight. Then someone figured it out.

The height of the Dead Sea relative to world sea level is -400 meters. As soon as the F-16 reached sea level, the navcom did a divide by zero, crashed, and rebooted.

[SgtRock]

Greetings EEVBees:

--Two university presidents were discussing how expensive is was becoming to to furnish and equip college departments. One said "These Science and Engineering departments are killing me with the expenses for equipment and instrumentation. I much prefer Mathematics departments. Other than buildings and furnishings all you need are pencils, paper, and waste baskets." The other university president said "I much prefer Philosophy departments -- no waste baskets."

"An electrical boffin from Sidney
Caught a 20 amp jolt to the kidney.
And so when he whizzes,
It pops, cracks and fizzes.
An unmetered I source now idney.
Gator Dundee 1948 -

Best Regards
Clear Ether

[Mechatrommer]

i have 4558D, its a dual opamp chip, great! whenever i need only one opamp in my circuit, i can cut it into half.

[chrome]

All these jokes are terrible and I believe some even gave me numerous cancers.

[ivan747]

And a counter for the C programmer

"You know, Java is allot like Alzheimer,
It's starts slow and then it takes all your memory!"

Make it 10 times slower and faster to take your memory when running games.

[Mint.]

"I'm like an IGBT - I don't have a complement nor do I need one." - Brittany Benzaia (she wants to stay single)

"Tiffany Yep makes the net work!"

"I think 10MHz is a relatively high frequency and 10W a relatively low power. Tiffany Yep thinks 10MHz is a rather low frequency and 10W a high power." (power electronics vs. digital communications)

"Allie Moore is so pretty, even the Tek is showing some nice curves!" (And now I wonder what Tiffany Yep looks like on an oscilloscope...)

"You can never be too rich or have too many power supplies."

Who the heck is Tiffany Yep!? Why is she in every one of your posts!

[Kibi]

"I'm like an IGBT - I don't have a complement nor do I need one." - Brittany Benzaia (she wants to stay single)

There are some IGBT's with compliments though. Toshiba used to make the GT20D101 and GT20D201 pair.

[Joshua]

"I'm like an IGBT - I don't have a complement nor do I need one." - Brittany Benzaia (she wants to stay single)

"Tiffany Yep makes the net work!"

"I think 10MHz is a relatively high frequency and 10W a relatively low power. Tiffany Yep thinks 10MHz is a rather low frequency and 10W a high power." (power electronics vs. digital communications)

"Allie Moore is so pretty, even the Tek is showing some nice curves!" (And now I wonder what Tiffany Yep looks like on an oscilloscope...)

"You can never be too rich or have too many power supplies."

Who the heck is Tiffany Yep!? Why is she in every one of your posts!

Yes Please, answer this!

[Mechatrommer]

"Tiffany Yep makes the net work!"
"I think 10MHz is a relatively high frequency and 10W a relatively low power. Tiffany Yep thinks 10MHz is a rather low frequency and 10W a high power." (power electronics vs. digital communications)

Who the heck is Tiffany Yep!? Why is she in every one of your posts!

Yes Please, answer this!

tif yep is a digital designer, certainly the wrong girl for power ee guys sometime guys need motivation and inspiration to continue to work, maybe thats why you keep seeing the name.
ps: in power line you need "fat and bulky" traces, but in digital line, you need "curly and thin" one

[Mint.]

"Tiffany Yep makes the net work!"
"I think 10MHz is a relatively high frequency and 10W a relatively low power. Tiffany Yep thinks 10MHz is a rather low frequency and 10W a high power." (power electronics vs. digital communications)

Who the heck is Tiffany Yep!? Why is she in every one of your posts!

Yes Please, answer this!

tif yep is a digital designer, certainly the wrong girl for power ee guys sometime guys need motivation and inspiration to continue to work, maybe thats why you keep seeing the name.
ps: in power line you need "fat and bulky" traces, but in digital line, you need "curly and thin" one

Ahh I get it now! Cheers!

[im_a_human]

An engineer comes home from work very late and his wife puts his cold dinner on the table and mutters.. @ wire you insulate?"

The engineer replys.. "sorry dear atleast im ohm now"

[im_a_human]

You cant beat german engineering   

http://www.gossenmetrawatt.com/deutsch/seiten/achtung-gefaehrlichemultimeter.htm

[NiHaoMike]

Who the heck is Tiffany Yep!? Why is she in every one of your posts!

Yes Please, answer this!

tif yep is a digital designer, certainly the wrong girl for power ee guys sometime guys need motivation and inspiration to continue to work, maybe thats why you keep seeing the name.
ps: in power line you need "fat and bulky" traces, but in digital line, you need "curly and thin" one

Actually, she does digital communications engineering, which does include a lot of digital design. And she's a model, the combination of which is seemingly very rare. (I personally know only one other engineer who is officially a model - Megan Cornner.)

Recently, I was having a problem with a Verilog design I was working on. There was a Spartan 6 FPGA and a 210Msps, 14 bit ADC connected to it. The master clock on the board runs at 100MHz, but I wanted the ADC to sample at 200MHz, so I routed the signal through an internal PLL. The problem was that although I could get the design to synthesize and the RTL diagram looks fine, it always failed to compile. I asked Tiffany about it, and long story short, she explained how the hardware architecture of the FPGA means that I have to send the output of the PLL through two buffers in order to make a compilable design. Now I have a working high speed ADC platform.

In other words, it is possible to find high quality knowledge in a highly attractive package, proving that God does exist. Which brings me to my next question - why is pi an irrational number?

[westfw]

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess".
He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

[westfw]

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?" they asked.

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."