Thinking in software and code poetry

[paulca]

I've been able to do this from a young age.  I can think in code. I'm sure it's not uncommon for people who have studied programming for a long time.

Being able to think in code leads you to rather bizarre code based descriptions of the human condition.

Obviously we can plagiarise with:

(2*b) || (!2*b)

Consider:

while( you->love(me) ){
    i->love(you);
}

It's fairly profound, but logically describes volatile love.

Another example of what I call "Code poetry".

int assessLife( int situation ) {
    if( situation == GOOD ) {
        return 0;
    } else {
        return -1;
    }
    return TRUE_HAPPINESS;
}

 

So... describe a human condition in code.... or describe you life right now in code.

[paulca]

Genuine true love:

while( true ) {
   you->love(me->love(you));
}

Non programmers:
The profound thing is... there are no conditions on the love on either side and it's infinitely recursive.

[tggzzz]

System.exit(0);

[chris_leyson]

I'm a hardware guy, I can't think of anything in code, it's just a black hole at the moment...hmmm (void).

[Macbeth]

From the 1980s with BBC BASIC. It amused me back then { hey we didn't have for(;; )  } and I admit to similar flourishes in working code running in blue chip financial institutions since...

Code: [Select]

>L.
   10 TheCowsComeHome = FALSE
   20 REPEAT
   30 PRINT "MOO! ";
   40 UNTIL TheCowsComeHome
>


[hugo]

Unconditional love: 

Code: [Select]

for (;;) {
     I -> love (you);
}

[John Coloccia]

Code: [Select]

public ExFiance {
...
};


[Zbig]

I consider myself a fairly emotional, sometimes overly sensitive person but this is just flat out embarrasingly silly and cringeworthy Please. Stop

[Vtile]

Hate
Love
SWAP
DROP

 

[Mr. Scram]

Genuine true love:

while( true ) {
   you->love(me->love(you));
}

Non programmers:
The profound thing is... there are no conditions on the love on either side and it's infinitely recursive.

True love is unconditional.

[NivagSwerdna]

710 77345

[IanMacdonald]

A coder thinking in a case sensitive language walks into the office, and:

"Capitalgee-ood morning, CapitalJay-ohn"

[paulca]

Genuine true love:

while( true ) {
   you->love(me->love(you));
}

Non programmers:
The profound thing is... there are no conditions on the love on either side and it's infinitely recursive.

True love is unconditional.

Unless you change the definition of true.

[paulca]

Here's a slightly less mushy one:

Code: [Select]

int assessLife(int situation) {
    if(situation == GOOD){
        return 0;
    } else {
        return -1;
    }
    // True happiness
}


[donotdespisethesnake]

Code: [Select]

int lifetime = random(80)

while lifetime-- do
begin
  eat();
  fork();
  sleep();
end;

die();

[PlainName]

That kind of implies your lifetime is predetermined. Wouldn't it  be more appropriate to have:

Code: [Select]

int lifetime = 0;
while (lifetime++ < rnd(80)) do
...
I think that reflects the actualite more closely in that things crop up and snuff on an apparent whim (think car crashes or an overdose, etc).

[Macbeth]

That kind of implies your lifetime is predetermined. Wouldn't it  be more appropriate to have:

Code: [Select]

int lifetime = 0;
while (lifetime++ < rnd(80)) do
...
I think that reflects the actualite more closely in that things crop up and snuff on an apparent whim (think car crashes or an overdose, etc).

It happens to be my nannas 94th birthday today. This hard coded rubbish is worse than the Y2K millennial bug stuff.

[paulca]

Code: [Select]

while (lifetime++ < 70 + (rnd(80)-40) )
Better?   Although it does guarantee you will live to at least 30.  This is the good thing about being a software engineer, you get to be God.

[PlainName]

my nannas 94th birthday today

Oh dear. She seems to be running an earlier iteration of the code:

Code: [Select]

while (lifetime++ != rnd(80)) do
Just update her to the latest version and she'll be fixed.

[NivagSwerdna]

http://sourcecodepoetry.com

[paulca]

Nice.  Reminded me of this:

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/50m0bw/bohemian_rhapsody_in_c/

[alexanderbrevig]

short road(long walk) { return wizer; }

[@rt]

void circumstances() {
while(1){}
return;
}

[engineer_in_shorts]

I seem to keep going round this loop at the moment:

Code: [Select]

int HourOfDay = 7;
FeelingStates currentFeeling = Grumpy;
//Typical Day
while (1) {

if (HourOfDay>7 && HourOfDay<=11) currentFeeling = Grumpy;
if (HourOfDay>11 && HourOfDay<=18) currentFeeling = Depressed;
if (HourOfDay > 18 && HourOfDay < 23) {
KeepDrinking();
currentFeeling = Happy;
}
HourOfDay = GetHourOfDay();
}


[@rt]

Here, now you have more time in your day

Code: [Select]


 int HourOfDay = 7;
 FeelingStates currentFeeling = Grumpy;

 while (1) { //Typical Day
// default goes here
  if (HourOfDay > 7) {
  if (HourOfDay < 23) {currentFeeling = Happy; KeepDrinking();}
  if (HourOfDay <= 18) currentFeeling = Depressed;
  if (HourOfDay <= 11) currentFeeling = Grumpy;
 }
  HourOfDay = GetHourOfDay();
 }