I had the same problem with a Pride Quantum Q-logic 3 wheelchair. The connector is an XLR plug with 3 pins (Mainly for audio applications). It has two additional pins with a smaller diameter for the CAN bus interface. The pins are at a non-standard position. I searched the catalogues of known XLR plug suppliers without success - this must be a custom design. In the end, I put together a standard 3-pin XLR plug and two wire ferrules (white, outer diameter 1.5mm) as shown in the pictures. Some patience with a key file and epoxy did the job. The pinout (CAN-H, CAN-L , GND) is also shown in the pictures.
I figured out the CAN messages for the joystick and for the speed of the left and the right wheel (see attached DBC file and two screenshots from MATLAB CAN Explorer). I am interested in any information about other CAN messages or CANopen OD/EDS/DCF of this or similar wheelchairs with Curtis Instruments hardware to help a university project for automated driving functions. It would be great if you could point me to a forum dealing with such topics.