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| Why can't people just say "sorry, I don't know the answer"? |
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| PlainName:
--- Quote ---simply can't STAND not to be the one shoving their hand in the air, so to speak, saying "ME ME ME MEMEMEMEMEMEEEE! LISTEN TO ME OVER THE OTHERS, I HAVE THE SOLUTION!" --- End quote --- Ever tried re-reading the stuff you write? |
| Circlotron:
It annoys me when someone posts a question about a difficulty they are having with a circuit or whatever, and someone who is a professional with proven expertise in that particular area presents a solution that they themself have used in the past and it is disregarded and the OP pays more attention to all these hair brained ideas that are presented that are way off track. Nowadays if I know a solution I present it and if they ignore it in favour of unworkable ideas i just let them crash and burn. |
| Fredderic:
Another element of this question, is stating opinion or supposition as fact. For far too many people, if they think it, it must be true. If asked a question, or I think I have valid input, I'll speak up. But I do try to prefix my response with a reasonable assessment of my certainty. I'll use phrases like, "I think" (some self-assembly was involved), "I'm pretty sure" (a fair bit of self-assembly and/or double-checking was involved), "I believe" (aka "I heard from a reasonably reliable source"), and the likes. I think "I don't know the answer" is often a cop-out, what they really mean is "I can't be bothered / I don't care". But if it really is the answer, then you should own it, something like, "That's not really something I've needed to deal with" is a good less "I don't care" type alternative. Personally, I go for my best guess, prefacing it with something like, "Possibly", or or "I think perhaps maybe" (ie. sprinkle on uncertainties to taste). What I also hate, is the "you just don't like to be wrong". Well, duh… does ANYONE? I mean, sure, some people just like the sound of their own voice, so any answer is a good answer, to them, but still… A better question is why don't you like being wrong. Is it ego, or simply because you'd rather be right. Unfortunately, it seems to be ego for most people. In the latter case, however, and this is something I've found a lot of people have a hard time understanding — except those more scientifically inclined — is that if I am proven wrong, that only means I've learnt something new, and that's quite often even more exciting than actually having the right answer (which is just a nice minor affirmation). So again, eschewing "Sorry, I don't know the answer" in favour of showing interest and offering up what I can, gives me a foot in the door for learning something new, and I always (well, almost always) prefer that over holding my piece and remaining ignorant. It does seem a distressing minority who hate been wrong (and you should hate being wrong) less than they hate being a fool (not to be confused with being made out to be a fool, but that goes back to ego, and properly stating certainties). This forum is an example… If I offer up some advice, like this very post here, it'll automatically subscribe me for further responses. I put forth my opinion, and now I've got my food in the door for future learnings. Sure, I can hang around regardless — just click the Notify button — but doesn't that seem a little more, stalkerish? It's like hanging around near a bunch of people having a conversation, evesdropping… |
| Fredderic:
--- Quote from: Circlotron on September 20, 2020, 01:09:18 am ---It annoys me […] someone who is a professional with proven expertise in that particular area […] and it is disregarded --- End quote --- Problem there, is it can often be difficult for the inexperienced person to know who is experienced, and who is not. And they're often using enthusiasm, rather than serenity, as their guide. (After all, they're enthusiastic about getting a response!) |
| george.b:
Hey, OP, aren't you the guy who went bonkers over Dave having written a book on dating, over the concept of dating and why it was an absolutely abhorrent thing and wouldn't be told otherwise by anybody else, to the point that you said you were going to request the thread to be locked? Yeah, I remember you. Funny to see you here. --- Quote from: dunkemhigh on September 20, 2020, 12:29:01 am ---Ever tried re-reading the stuff you write? --- End quote --- +1 |
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