Author Topic: wtf is this about?  (Read 4268 times)

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Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #25 on: April 30, 2022, 05:05:29 am »
Ahhh, I've been waiting for this for a while..

Now pin the thread as a warning to others.


[ducks for cover]

 ;)
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Offline Nominal Animal

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #26 on: April 30, 2022, 06:02:48 am »
@m3vuv you landed on the watch list because of your arrogant and insulting behaviour. I have tried very hard to work with you to get you to see how your behaviour is not acceptable.
As someone with their own communications problems (abrasiveness, excess verbosity), I can place myself in m3vuv's proverbial shoes.  I know that at some point, those problems may make me unwelcome, too.  However, I know that that would not be due to my person or my personality, but by my communications.  (I did have to start using a pseudonym, Nominal Animal, instead of my real name online, to truly "grok" this, though.)

I only hope that before that happens, I will be notified of being close to the line by the moderators or Dave.  (Preferably via a private message describing exactly how, because a public post might trigger a premature emotional reaction (feeling being "publicly accosted"); whereas one can read and digest a private message in their own time, and cool down first.)

Putting myself in m3vuv's shoes, having taken a look at their last couple of hundred posts (and noting they have mentioned some personal hardship right now): if this was me, I'd have to conclude the ban is fair, for now.  (I've had something like this happen to me years ago, when I was, uh, not in the best mental state possible, myself.)

Thing is, one must either adjust their communications style so that they contribute more to the discussion than their personal quirks hamper it.  If that's not possible, then that's not the place for them.  It's not good or bad, it's just how the world is; much like how one is not suitable for every possible job, only some of them.

Thus, in my opinion, the best possible outcome would be for m3vuv to work on changing their posting style for the better (seeing as they are capable of it, at least have been, elsewhere, years ago), and consider it the "cost" of participating here.  If they sort themselves out and decide they'd like to do that, they could contact Dave and set up a new account with some strict boundary conditions.  I know for a fact that this has been done before, and it has worked out at least in a couple of cases.  Not all, though, obviously; and I know of several who have left exactly because they just didn't feel they "fit".

The key is to realize that this is nothing personal; it is only about how we communicate with each other, and somewhat necessary to stop the forum for falling into chaos.  (And while one could argue philosophically about where that line should lie, just looking at the forum as it is right now, I at least must conclude Dave et al. do a better job at this than I could.  I can comment on individual cases, but I definitely don't want to affect the "policy line" Dave sets.)
 
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Offline gnif

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #27 on: April 30, 2022, 06:06:58 am »
I only hope that before that happens, I will be notified of being close to the line by the moderators or Dave.  (Preferably via a private message describing exactly how, because a public post might trigger a premature emotional reaction (feeling being "publicly accosted"); whereas one can read and digest a private message in their own time, and cool down first.)

We always work with offenders privately, things like this only become public if the offender decides to make it public like was done here, or if the offender keeps breaking the rules even after we have attempted to rectify the problem in a private manner first.

In this instance m3uvu was given the benefit of the doubt and plenty of rope before taking final action in the hopes that we saw an improvement. I did note that the tone of his posts did settle down quite a lot but only after it got to the point where I started to rebuke him in a public manner for his posts.

At the end of the day we spent more time on this matter then honestly I feel we should have. I personally can count on one hand the number of people I have had to ban from this forum (outside of blatant spammers) due to rule breaches, we try very hard to resolve the issues before resorting to a flat out ban.

Putting myself in m3vuv's shoes, having taken a look at their last couple of hundred posts

Do note that quite a few of his posts/threads were removed due to their content being against the rules, and in some instances they were reported private messages that were abusive, or direct messages to mods/admins that were abusive. There are holes in the picture the public can see due to this.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2022, 06:17:42 am by gnif »
 
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Offline Nominal Animal

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #28 on: April 30, 2022, 06:22:01 am »
I only hope that before that happens, I will be notified of being close to the line by the moderators or Dave.  (Preferably via a private message describing exactly how, because a public post might trigger a premature emotional reaction (feeling being "publicly accosted"); whereas one can read and digest a private message in their own time, and cool down first.)

We always work with offenders privately, things like this only become public if the offender decides to make it public like was done here, or if the offender keeps breaking the rules even after we have attempted to rectify the problem in a private manner first.
Thanks, that's really good to hear.  :-+

Having once had quite a "heated exchange" with Simon, and having Dave once conclude I was a troll, I admit I've been wondering whether I personally have already had my "final warning".  Again, I do not think it is my personality or anything personal like that; it's just a fact of how I communicate and interact with other members.  :-//
(Observing it in my own messages is one of my blind spots; I have had to occasionally PM other members to give me honest feedback on that.)
So, if I do get close to the boundary, a PM saying so is definitely useful and appreciated.



I did not post this and my previous post to make this about me, though.  I am only using myself as an example of a member that might not fit here now or sometime in the future, and how I'd recommend others to deal with this without going paranoid about people "having it in for them".  Sure, personality conflicts do occur sometimes, but really, it is mostly – and in my opinion, here in m3vuv's case – about communications instead.
 
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Offline Ed.Kloonk

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #29 on: April 30, 2022, 06:25:44 am »
As someone who does say things at the most inappropriate times I can't wait to see look on my doctors face when reviewing the blood test result after all the popcorn I've consumed this week both here and elsewhere.

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Online Zero999

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #30 on: April 30, 2022, 05:16:12 pm »
@m3vuv you landed on the watch list because of your arrogant and insulting behaviour. I have tried very hard to work with you to get you to see how your behaviour is not acceptable.
As someone with their own communications problems (abrasiveness, excess verbosity), I can place myself in m3vuv's proverbial shoes.  I know that at some point, those problems may make me unwelcome, too.  However, I know that that would not be due to my person or my personality, but by my communications.  (I did have to start using a pseudonym, Nominal Animal, instead of my real name online, to truly "grok" this, though.)

I only hope that before that happens, I will be notified of being close to the line by the moderators or Dave.  (Preferably via a private message describing exactly how, because a public post might trigger a premature emotional reaction (feeling being "publicly accosted"); whereas one can read and digest a private message in their own time, and cool down first.)

Putting myself in m3vuv's shoes, having taken a look at their last couple of hundred posts (and noting they have mentioned some personal hardship right now): if this was me, I'd have to conclude the ban is fair, for now.  (I've had something like this happen to me years ago, when I was, uh, not in the best mental state possible, myself.)

Thing is, one must either adjust their communications style so that they contribute more to the discussion than their personal quirks hamper it.  If that's not possible, then that's not the place for them.  It's not good or bad, it's just how the world is; much like how one is not suitable for every possible job, only some of them.

Thus, in my opinion, the best possible outcome would be for m3vuv to work on changing their posting style for the better (seeing as they are capable of it, at least have been, elsewhere, years ago), and consider it the "cost" of participating here.  If they sort themselves out and decide they'd like to do that, they could contact Dave and set up a new account with some strict boundary conditions.  I know for a fact that this has been done before, and it has worked out at least in a couple of cases.  Not all, though, obviously; and I know of several who have left exactly because they just didn't feel they "fit".

The key is to realize that this is nothing personal; it is only about how we communicate with each other, and somewhat necessary to stop the forum for falling into chaos.  (And while one could argue philosophically about where that line should lie, just looking at the forum as it is right now, I at least must conclude Dave et al. do a better job at this than I could.  I can comment on individual cases, but I definitely don't want to affect the "policy line" Dave sets.)
I have attempted to help him on many occasions but I was starting to give up. I'm surprised he wasn't banned earlier. I can't figure out whether he's genuinely mentally ill/retarded, or just a troll, but I suppose it doesn't matter. It isn't our responsibility to figure out which it is.
 
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Offline Labrat101

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #31 on: April 30, 2022, 05:52:44 pm »
After reading though every thing .. I was wondering how on earth .. Did this subject title  "" Re: wtf is this about? ""
Ever made 2 complete pages . When the Title alone was asking for a Fight .. ?? :box:
 Surely a couple of well written PM's may have solved his Problem ..

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Online MK14

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #32 on: April 30, 2022, 06:10:43 pm »
After reading though every thing .. I was wondering how on earth .. Did this subject title  "" Re: wtf is this about? ""
Ever made 2 complete pages . When the Title alone was asking for a Fight .. ?? :box:
 Surely a couple of well written PM's may have solved his Problem ..

PMs (not by me, so I'm not sure how many, but other(s), mention doing it, so I assume it is many) and posting advise has been tried, on numerous occasions. With little success, although gnif did seem to say earlier, that he (gnif) had noticeably improved the OPs behavior.

As other(s) have said. As lenient, as this forum tends to be. It is surprising, they lasted as long as they did.
« Last Edit: April 30, 2022, 06:29:41 pm by MK14 »
 

Offline james_s

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #33 on: April 30, 2022, 06:24:41 pm »
As someone with their own communications problems (abrasiveness, excess verbosity), I can place myself in m3vuv's proverbial shoes.  I know that at some point, those problems may make me unwelcome, too.  However, I know that that would not be due to my person or my personality, but by my communications.  (I did have to start using a pseudonym, Nominal Animal, instead of my real name online, to truly "grok" this, though.)

I don't find you to be particularly abrasive, but it might just be that I'm equally abrasive so I don't notice. Whatever the case you use punctuation, capitalization and spell most words properly so it is not a laborious task to decipher what you've written. I think what annoys me is when it takes effort to decipher something someone has scrawled and after that effort I find that it was a waste of time.
 
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Offline Benta

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #34 on: April 30, 2022, 07:11:20 pm »
@gnif, I find you've handled this admirably and with a lot of patience. I've gone a step too far once or twice and learned from it.
The light-handed moderation of this forum is commendable and attests to the fact that almost all users are grown-up professionals.

 
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Offline gnif

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Re: wtf is this about?
« Reply #35 on: May 14, 2022, 01:54:17 pm »
Locked
 
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