Following manufacturer footprints (if given) is a crap shoot. They have various priorities, which may not be the same as yours.
Following IPC recommendations is the most universal. Any assembly house should be able to succeed with those. Go download IPC-7351, whichever version you can find, and read through it. You can use calculator tools as well. Can also look at SM-782, but it's superseded by 7351, and gives annoyingly small pad gap figures for most parts.
Finally, do a sanity check on the final dimensions, and adjust accordingly:
Will the pad gap REALLY be as awful as the worst-case dimensions imply? Or will that be wasted pad and paste area and potentially lead to shorts under the component?
Does the component actually have any side fillet at all (e.g., chip resistors typically have top, end and bottom, but not side, metallization)?
Do you even care? Chip caps and multilayer inductors/FBs normally have wraparound metallization, but a large side fillet takes up a huge amount of space, and may make the part more prone to cracking.
For leaded parts, are the pads narrow enough to allow soldermask inbetween, or will that be optimized out by the fab -- or worse yet, left in, and the too-thin webs flake off during soldering?
(FWIW, for 0.5 and 0.65mm pitch components, it's almost always perfectly fine to use pad width equal to half the pitch, give or take a little fudge. This leaves enough space between pads for two solder mask expansion plus one solder mask minimum web width. 0.8+ mm pitch you have more room to play with, and you can take more consideration of pin width and side fillet. Some 0.8mm pitch AVRs with wide pins come to mind.)
And as mentioned, pad heatsinking ratio is important. Thermal relief is not a problem even for power components -- copper is quite conductive, calculate the electrical and thermal resistance yourself!

If you've done all this and your parts are still shifting or tombstoning, check the reflow process, definitely. That's probably the bigger elephant to begin with though.

By the way, tombstoning, as such, is very rare for larger (0805+) components. Gravity dominates and the part tends to stay flat. The nearest thing you'd expect, then, is shifting lengthwise, lack of wetting, or head-on-pillow failures. Basically still tombstoning, just without as much vertical element.
Tim