I believe OP already found their solution. It doesn’t fit their original requirements, but it seems that’s not a problem.
Regarding your experience, it’s unheard of. GMail outright bouncing off an email?

I can hardly recall hearing this happening even in “friend of a friend” tales. Any other service, sure, but GMail? To me it suggests some serious misconfiguration of your MTA. Consider running MxToolbox application on your email domain, or pointing somebody to the domain to inspect it. There may be some subtle mistake you didn’t notice. Both MxToolbox and experienced eyes should spot it. Mail-tester.com may also offer some insight (use with a temporary alias).
Spam level doesn’t really depend on who runs the email server,
(1) but how reckless one is with giving email addresses. Ignoring standard local-parts (like “sales” or “postmaster”), or trivial or enumerable ones, spammers have no means of delivering any email without first knowing the address. If they do, it’s because they received your actual address.
Scans are common, but that’s just a daily bread on the internet. Not even worth caring about.
(1) It may differ for poorly configured services, run by “geniuses” that copy-paste random advice found on Google, bundle together as much blacklists as they can, and then blackhole everything. But that’s not because they reduce spam, but because they reduce email traffic in general. Both wanted and unwanted.