‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all thro’ the house
Not a creature was stirring, except clicks from a mouse
The leads were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
The sellers were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of new gear danc’d in my head
And Mudder in her ‘kerchief, and I on my lap(top)
Had just settled our accounts for a long winter’s nap (right)
When out on the lawn there started such a clatter
I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter (sorry laptop)
Away to the window I flew like some trash
Tore open the shutters (another fix), and threw up the sash
The loon on the breast of the new fallen snow (got that right)
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a minature EV, pulled ny eight tiny rain-deer
With a little old driver, so lively and quick (say... Elon!)
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came
And he whistled, and shouted, and call’d them by name
Now! Dasher, now! Dancer, now! Prancer, and Vixen
On! Comet, on! Cupid, on! Dunder and Blixem
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!
As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, (my antenna!)
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of Toys! - and St. Nicholas too (an extra)
And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof (New Roof now!)
As I drew in my head, and was turning around
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound
He was dress’d all in fur (Synthetic), from his head to his foot
And his clothes were all tarnish’d with ashes and soot, (swept that)
A bundle of Toys was flung on his back, (No workers comp ins!)
And he look’d like a peddler just opening his pack: (Hmmmmm)
His eyes - how they Twinkled! his dimples how merry
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry
His drolling little mouth was drawn up like a bow
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;(No soot?)
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, (Hi Grade 20%)
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath. (Baby!)
He had a broad face, and a little round belly (The bar again)
That shook when he laugh’d, like a bowl full of jelly (Corona's?)
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf (Dat's Deception!)
And I laugh’d when I saw him in spite of myself (fly was down)
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread (The anxiety!)
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And pulled all the leads; then turn’d with a jerk (that hurt)
And laying his finger aside of his nose
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose (gotta clean this mess?)
He sprung to his EV, to his team gave them a whistle
And away they all flew, like the down of a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, ere he flew out of sight...
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
Patent Pending...... Still
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