Thank You on the Forum

[voltsandjolts]

I'm just lamenting the death of courtesy in the modern world and trying to understand.

I think, in general, people are more courteous in person than via the internet. The internet is relatively new, and we therefore see a reduction in courtesy.

[thephil]

Personally, I am very happy with the overall manors on this forum – I have seen much worse.

I have thanked some people for helping me with questions and I have received a few thanks when trying to help. I agree that it is impolite to ask a question and then disappear without notice but then I remind myself that "the internet" does not owe me anything and I don't owe anything, either. So, for the most part, things a fine with me.

[Fraser]

This is a post for Jwet, but it may be of interest to others.

Jwet,

I was working in a very responsible role in the defence of my country. The role involved significant team working and very high standards of performance. I am a perfectionist and pessimist by nature so fitted the role well. Sadly at the age of only 48 I had to effectively ‘retire’ due to ill health. I was having to deal with both a serious illness and the loss of a job that I loved. As a member of this most excellent forum I focussed my energies on helping others as a substitute for my previous activities. Yes, I believe that I was searching for a purpose in life. The question “what is my purpose in life” is a very dangerous one to ask yourself as life can appear pointless It was my decision to commit myself to this forum to assist others. No one forced me to answer technical questions. In my job, I did not expect thanks or praise as I considered it a vocation. I therefore do not seek ‘praise’ in life but I am ‘old school’ when it comes to manners. My skill set does not transfer easily to life outside my previous employment so I chose some hobbies to pursue. Thermal imaging is one such hobby of mine and I spent much time learning about the technology, how it worked and how to repair the equipment. This was a topic I could help others with on the forum as it was in its infancy in the civilian world. I had a ‘purpose’ again and it distracted me from my illness. Over the years of helping others I have learnt that a technical forum is a VERY different environment to that of a tight knit technical team working towards an objective. In my work life there was cameraderie and a lot of mutual support and respect. No such close team environment exists in cyberspace forums as it lacks the human to human direct contact. We are pretty much faceless entities in this forum. I still miss the cameraderie but I do retain a purpose in life.

My mistake when interacting with people on this forum was to expect them to act as my team mates did when being given help. That was unrealistic and forum etiquette appears very different to real world etiquette and manners. It is often “all about the information” on forums and less about the people behind the interaction. That is, of course, a generalisation and exceptions exist where people form friendships via a forum. I certainly have been very fortunate in this respect.

I also made the mistake of making the EEVBlog forum a primary interest in my life and I spent far too much time focussed on helping others with their challenges and left little time for my family life and doing my own projects/repairs. This was not a healthy situation ! My wife became an internet widow ! Do not repeat my mistake. Thankfully I have a very understanding wife so our marriage is intact.
I was always on the forum as I needed to validate my existence and be useful to people. In truth I had no need to feel this way but it was a bi-product of my career in a specialist team and unusual employment. The human mind is complex and sometimes illogical.
It took a very unpleasant event to break the forums hold over me (my doing, not the forums). A very unpleasant and unstable forum member (now banned) once sent me hate mail for no good reason. In amongst the vile diatribe he commented that I am a very sad person for spending so much time on this forum. He highlighted my post count. This did make me consider how long I spent helping others via the EEVBlog and I realised that he was right. I have since reduced my engagement on this forum to a more healthy level. My wife is very pleased about this change for the better. Again, do not make the same mistake as me and focus your time and knowledge on strangers. Family and friends come first ! I still help people with thermal imaging questions and repairs, but I am more selective as there are others here who can offer assistance. My engagement on the forum is now far healthier and I no longer seek any form of validation or praise. I have nothing to prove anymore.

Thankfully I am now able to do some part time occasional work for my old employer so that helps to satisfy my desire to serve my country with my skill set. It is worth investigating whether a previous employer has any desire to use the knowledge gained during your career. Sometimes new recruits need training or mentoring and this can be a very satisfying role for a retired person. I remember when I had to leave my employer, I thought about all the knowledge and skills that I had which were then going to waste and unused for anyones benefit. That was a depressing thought. Having worked closely with technical contractors in the US I found that a lot of them had really interesting hobbies that were not directly associated with their jobs. I had the same hobby (electronics) as my job and now consider that unhealthy. These American techs had hobbies like Flying aircraft, flying RC aircraft, rock climbing, scuba diving, all manner of dangerous sports and Ham Radio. They were really interesting people who will likely have no problem filling their time with healthy activities during their retirement. I envy them. It is my belief that it can be unhealthy to retire from a technical role and focus purely on interaction with other techs via technical forums. It is a closed world and there are so many other options where a person can meet and interact with other humans in person. Ham Radio clubs, ‘Men in Sheds’ and other group activities are healthy options for a retired tech. Forums such as the EEVBlog remain very interesting places to visit and participate, but they are not ideal for quality social interaction IMHO.

So Jwet you now have my experiences after forced retirement. The World is your Oyster now and you can choose where you invest your time, knowledge and personality in society. I am sure that there is much that you can still offer society and you can have enjoyable interactions with like minded people. You do not need participation on a forum to be a valid contributor to society….  you have proven your worth throughout your career and should now enjoy life to the full. I hope that you have the finances in place to ‘spread your wings’.

Fraser

[fourfathom]

Can I suggest that the recently retired benefit most from doing new things in a new world. IMHO sinking into a familiar rut is not a good way forward.

I retired in the year 2000 at the age of 47 (extremely comfortably), and often take the opportunity to do other things, but I keep coming back to electronics design.  That was my career, and something that I have greatly enjoyed since I was ten years old.  I now design, build, and sell RF-related gear for ham radio and scientific research.  That's an area of electronics I haven't worked in for a long time, so I don't at all feel that I am sinking into a rut.

I participate in the EEVB Forum because I enjoy the conversation, the help, and the friendly disagreements.  I answer questions when I can help, and I generally don't even notice my "thanks" count.  What I do notice is the interaction.  If someone disappears as soon as they get their answer that's just the way of the world and I don't take it personally.

[jpanhalt]

I'm recently retired and trying to find my way in this new world.  I think I'll pay less attention to EEVblog and look at better outlets for my talents.

Sorry to be late.  I sort of lost track of this thread until now.

I retired in 2006.  Had been flying model airplanes since the 3rd grade.  I have always been a fanatic about airplanes and now was able to fly 3 times a week.  After 3 months, I was disgusted.  In Cleveland, OH, like most big cities, there are small colleges.  Community colleges (County based) weren't interested, but a small, liberals art college was.*  I volunteered to teach chemistry and asked for no salary.  It had to pay me something for insurance, which I mostly donated back (salary was not deductible from local taxes).  Technically, I worked 1/2 day a week, but spent much more time working on my presentations, grading and so forth.  Did that for 2 years until I was over the hump of retirement.  Coincidentally , I bought a "hobby farm" about 40 miles away, so the commute to the small college became harder.  I enjoy the farm, but it is hobby in name only.  I haven't had the time to fly my models since.  In the Winter, I have various electronic projects.

Other family members retired with nothing to do except care for pets.  They are not happy.  Bottom line, find something to do that contributes or helps, regardless of how trivial.

*Edit:  Don't try the front door approach.  I contacted the Chair of Chemistry and suggested we have lunch together.

[Kean]

It is kind of ironic that my post where I stated I don't care so much for the "Thanks" has received the most thanks of any post so far in this thread.

So thank you very much for that 

[Bud]

Your unnecessary expletives are boring too! Maybe grow up, and learn to express yourself without them.

You should apply for a snowflake Co-Mod position on that forum. 

[CatalinaWOW]

Even this, one of the best forums I have encountered demonstrates that communication over the internet is not nearly as rich or nuanced as face to face interactions.  I have been less diligent than I probably should in thanking those who have helped me, with an actual sentence or two in a post.  And I share with many others a wish that many folks would follow up with a report on how the suggestions provided worked out for the original poster.

The thank you button is hardly sufficient for expressing actual gratitude.  My most common use of it occurs in threads where there have been many unclear, partial or even wrong answers to a question and someone beats me (either by being faster or smarter) to generating an answer that is complete, tailored to the OPs apparent understanding level and correct.   I mean the thank you to emphasize that it is worth paying more attention to this answer than some of the others.  For some reason this seems more appropriate than quoting the post and adding some line of text such as "Here here" or "great answer."

Retirement for many is a great stressor for the ego.  Going from a position of significant attainment, positional status, often with teams working for you, or at least with you, recognition in the industry, etc.  It can take a while to either find other sources for this validation or adapt to not getting it.  But as previous posters have said if you keep busy you will eventually find yourself happy with your new position, often happier than you were.  One thing that almost all find.  Through engagement in many new tasks (and sometimes combined with reduced efficiency since it is no longer demanded) you find yourself with less free time than ever.  More projects piling up in the to be accomplished pile.